Disability Planning, Preparedness, Sickness
THE MYSTERY BEHIND LUPUS
The Mystery behind Lupus, is forever ongoing. It affects 1.5 million Americans, and 5 million worldwide.
“Lupus changes people. It sculpts into someone who understands more deeply, hurts more often, appreciates more quickly, cries more easily, hopes more desperately, loves more openly, and lives more passionately.” Unknown
I love having you come on our show today to talk about the true mystery about your journey with lupus. I’m very excited to hear it from point A to Z.
And so let’s get the party started. Let’s talk about how it all started for you.
Sure, yes, absolutely. So it was a number of years ago seems like a lifetime ago, almost. In my 20s I started flying airplanes and absolutely fell in love with aviation, every piece of it wanted to know all about it. And so from the age 25 to 30 was flying a ton going through my ranks and all the ratings and teaching people how to fly and got my commercial and won some scholarships to do some other things. And it was really a fun time. But I wasn’t taking care of my body wasn’t taking care of the Spirit. And at the age of 30, my body just broke it just broke and wouldn’t do what I was asking him to do any longer. We my first episode, if you will, we were in Hawaii, enjoying a wonderful, blissful time in Hawaii is our favorite place to go. How can you not Hello, right. I know. It was absolutely gorgeous. In the last day, we were going to leave in the morning. And on the way to breakfast I decided I was just going to steal a few more minutes in the sun. But I hadn’t put on any sunscreen or anything because I was all dressed ready to go. And the sun can bring on a flare up in terms of auto immune particularly lupus, but I didn’t know this because I just this was hadn’t even started yet. But when we boarded the first airplane and they shut the door and we’re rolling down the runway, we were just taking a short hop from Hawaii to Honolulu. All of a sudden I couldn’t breathe. I was just gasping for air and scary place to be when that’s happening. It didn’t say anything to my husband till we landed again. It was just a 15 minute hop to Honolulu. But I said before we get on another airplane, I’ve got to see a medic. And so we did I didn’t even know if there was one up there you came back. Okay. Had to see a medic at the at the Honolulu airport and he listened to my lungs and said, you’re breathing in and out. I don’t see a problem. So what I know right, breathing lady Get lost.
So like popping Benadryl as we hop on this next flight, that’s a five or five hour flight over the water. It’s just miserable, but with enough rest. I think it was something in the plane then that I really had no idea. I just I was completely taken aback. I mean, I had the reason I was popping Benadryl is because for those five years when I wasn’t treating myself, Well, I was allergic to a lot of things. And so I always carried it with me not knowing that this was kind of the start of the whole autoimmune illness. So it didn’t alarm me to the I mean, I was alarmed, but not enough to go to say an ER, yeah, that was down the road. I with enough rest. I sort of recovered from that episode. Didn’t think too much of it.
A couple weeks later, I’m sitting at work having a sandwich and all of a sudden I can’t breathe again. So then I was able to go Yeah, it was just strange. Just autoimmune is just so strange. So I did go to my primary care. And she’s kind of said the same thing. Like that’s the we’re autoimmune is so strange. There’s no, we don’t really know what’s happening. I said, I can’t go home, like I’ve already been through this cannot do this again. So she got me in with an allergist that afternoon. Surprisingly, the only one available and that doctor had no idea at the time. He had interned in a lupus clinic. So he was I know, right. I mean, this is it was just this divine walk the whole you know, the whole walk, but I didn’t know what I mean. I still went in not being able to breathe or having that sensation. He asked me about 100 questions, took a bunch of blood work and didn’t even tell me why what he suspected. But the fact that he was living Listening, the fact that he was engaged, gave me enough comfort to go home that evening. those tests were very special took three weeks to get back in the meantime, episode after episode ER after ER. And it seemed like every time I saw a new doctor, they would prescribe a med that I was unable to take. I was allergic to it again, popping the Benadryl. So it was just this up and down just horrible, like, experience. One that I’m glad I haven’t, you know, had to go through those kinds of things again, so it was inside of the aviation industry.
A lot of those folks were saying, Go find a naturopath. And back then it wasn’t the easiest thing to do now,
right now. Right? So you hear it all the time, and it’s accepted. Back then it was well go see them if you know, you don’t want anybody to know, you’re sick type thing. Yeah, so right or go see that witchy doctor. Yeah. And again, I just happened to find like an expert in his field. But seeing that doctor for the first time, um, I, I found healing, the start of true healing within 24 hours, he somehow knew that the breathing issues I was having had nothing to do with my lungs. But everything to do with my stomach, my gut, I wasn’t able to expand my diaphragm to get a full breath because my gut was in such distress.
But like, Who knew? I mean, I certainly didn’t know. Right? And so he started me fasting right away on a liquid drink full of nutrition. And he had said, No, just do this for a week. I’m sure that that was a bite sized enough piece for someone to be able to follow his instructions. Yeah, that wouldn’t be too bad to do, right. I mean, you could do anything for a few days. It was Monday, and I was to do this till Friday. But Friday came. And I started panicking. I didn’t want to start eating. So he had given me because I was so sick. He had given me his cell phone instead, if anything happens, just give me a call. So I did, I called him and I said, Do I really, really, really have to start eating? I mean, for the first time, I’m feeling actually a little bit better. And he said, Wow, you’re blessed. No, you don’t. And so I continued on that for 90 days. During that 90 day period, I was buying that drink mix, if you will, that I mixed with water at the warehouse, because I was going through so much of it. And so it was it was fine. He just couldn’t keep enough of them shells. But that’s where I met, but they didn’t taste as good as they do now.
You know, I think God just hit that for me. Honestly. I one day I went in and was talking to a new someone I hadn’t talked to there before. And she was asking me Well, how does this taste for you? I said, Oh, it’s amazing. It I just know it saved my life. You know, I was I had her race it right. And I craved it, it was it must have had so much of what my body needed, that I truly did crave it. And so we started up this conversation, which after I left, I thought Oh good. She told me about her son that she had nursed back to health had almost passed. And she did it through nutrition. So when I left, I thought me and I really need to, I need to talk to her again, I need to know what she knows. And they didn’t want to call back and they didn’t want to let me they said oh, we talked to our manager and she doesn’t talk to clients. And I’m like, Oh, I really need to talk to her. So she did I said just please take my name and number. And if she’s willing to talk with me, I would just very much appreciated and she did call me and she gave me the name of the doctor who would really walk this journey with me a three year journey to healing. And I that was all of all of those experiences were very divinely led because like who would? It was one circumstance after the other that just was put in my path for you know the right place, right time type thing?
Because I think that’s what happens when you start going the right direction. It says okay, we got your back now.
We got to girl, let’s let’s keep moving forward. That’s exactly right. It’s the the universe will step in and give you what you need when you’re on the right when you’re on the right track. And even if you’re not, you know, you may stumble here or there but eventually find, you know, find the way Yeah. Did Is it very similar to when you started in that process because you didn’t really know what you were feeling and how you were reacting. But is it very much like Lyme disease because Lyme disease is a very similar type of hidden Yeah. I don’t I don’t even know what to call it because yeah, another half better.
Yeah. Weird. No hard to diagnose? Absolutely. So it is. And in fact, when I’ve talked to some people and seeing what other people have gone through with wine, this disease, I they’re so closely related in terms of symptoms that you know, who’s your guest is as good as mine type thing? Absolutely. They’re very, very similar.
So how did was there a wake up call for you?
Was there a real? the lightbulb went on for you?
Once you got through to a certain point of feeling a little bit better?
Definitely. And, you know, it was what you just said it was a wake up call, I was going the wrong direction in my life and had an opportunity to redirect. Yes, obstacles to overcome, for sure. But the redirection was in the right place that my life was supposed to go. And it was, you know, honestly, I wasn’t sure if I would survive, because I couldn’t take the normal course that other people could. And so imagine, coming down with an autoimmune the first one of the first things that you do is you go to a rheumatologist, I never made it that far. I was seeing ER doctors a lot. But there were no solutions. And I just knew, somehow in that space, there was, this wasn’t where I was going to find my healing. And in the natural realm, then with dealing just with food and supplements, and things like that. There was a lot of grace during this time, because I was so sick, but nothing I was doing was normal, in terms of what other people would do. So friends family, didn’t understand what I was up to. I did crazy stuff to get well, I read every cancer book of someone who had gotten welded, I did everything they did, there wasn’t anything on lupus back then in getting well, right. Yeah. And chronic illness was that it was chronic.
Um, so I was following protocol that other people couldn’t really swallow in terms of or understand or approve of. And so it was very lonely journey to wellness, because it was long. I mean, it’s like waking up with the flu for 1000 days. But every once in a while there was that little glimmer, I’d have a few minutes where I felt better. And then a week later, maybe up to an hour where I felt like, Wow, I didn’t feel terrible this last hour. So little glimmers of hope that kept me on that path doing what I need to do to get well.
So it’s 20 years ago, gosh, we didn’t have what we have now. I mean, even with Crohn’s disease with all the products of gluten free, and we didn’t have all of that sort of type of thing. And to me, it’s all very similar because our body’s reacting to something from either you’re putting in it or that you are around. I truly believe that, you know, it’s the water we’re drinking, it’s the drinks we’re drinking, it’s the food we’re eating, it’s, it’s everything. And it’s hard to eliminate those things out of your life. You can’t it’s like diabetics, you know, to go shopping or to go to a restaurant like everybody else. You have to be watching what you’re eating. Yes. So how did you get from really feeling sick and having that life changing career change for you?
Yeah, so as you mentioned, the eating I really had to eliminate everything. So I went through that first 90 days of complete elimination and the the drink mix, if you will, it was based on a rice based syrup. So when I added in food, all I could do was steamed zucchini, things you could see through once they were steamed I could pretty much see watermelon. Yeah and no and no fruit it was only vegetables, fruit wood. So one of the things that I had was leaky gut syndrome. And yeah, and so I couldn’t eat anything that would that would have sugars or anything in it and because the switches feed on that and create more right so for three years I vegetables morning noon and night once I started eating vegetables and we we fondly call it even today the walk meal I would cook in the walk and I still do vegetables is is pretty much what I eat. And I can do some rice products some and now they have lots of rice products like rice bread and rice noodles and so but but back then For three years it was vegetables morning, noon and night.
Wow. That’s a hard one to swallow basically because I mean, you can be a vegetarian but without fruit It seems so difficult, doesn’t it? But the sugar is not good for for really anybody’s got. And that’s yeah I had it I we were really treating that leaky gut I had a parasite too called blastocyst is hominis.
And so we were starving out the bad yeast, this parasite all have to do with a gut. Yeah, it was just so I, I, I know this could have gone another way. I know it could have gone where I would it wouldn’t be here right now. For sure. Like I said, there were many nights, I wondered if I would wake up the next morning, but I was my stomach was so sensitive that the only thing I could do was that rice drink and vegetables. That was it. And there was there was a time during that just a really short time during that period where I ventured out and had salmon and some chicken. And that was the one and only audible voice of God experience I’ve ever had. And one night I clearly heard everything you need to eat is grown out of the ground. And I was down to I know and I was down to my lowest weight. I was 105 lost. I had lost so much weight down to I looked like I was 13. I mean, that’s what I that’s what I weighed when I was 13 years old.
So I looked like I had anorexia. I mean, I looked terrible, right? And so I may I’m like, you’ve got to be kidding me God. And so I made a deal with them. I said, All right. Because I just started bringing these two things into into my diet. And I said, Okay, I’ll make a deal. If I lose one more pound, in this next week, then I I’m going to go back to eating those two things. And I gained two pounds that week. So that was my deal with God, he won. And that was it. You know, like that was a he really was my he gave me the next step. Every single step I took then I got the next one. But I had to be really faithful in that time to do what he said to do before I got the next step. And so it was blind faith walking by the smallest light possible that could light my path and I just followed it. I knew I was that close to not living really, you know, it’s just on my way out. So I had to I had to follow it. It was survival piercer absolutely did.
Did you feel a difference eating the chicken and the salmon? Like are you a totally vegan then now.
So now I I don’t eat any meat and or poultry or fish. I do eat eggs, and then in basically vegetables and some rice type products. But that’s that’s the extent of my my diet. It’s gotten smaller again. I did. So once I got Well, we were able to have children, which was a total blessing and had three boys. They’re all grown up now. But once I was on the other side, you know I had I healed i mean i truly did my blood tests were normal. I there was a time then that I by the time I was 3334 I was asymptomatic. My blood tests reversed. And all was well. And so we started having kiddos and as moms with kiddos you start eating off of their plate. Hold on. There you come. Okay, so after about 10 years, I was a really poor vegetarian, I was more like a carbohydrate. And you know, I eat carbs all the time I consent I’ve done.
So I went and flipped exact opposite and went to the Atkins and just ate meat and cheeses and stuff like that, which tasted awesome. The last couple of years, I’ve switched back over to the vegetarian diet, and I have felt like I’ve gotten 10 years younger. Oh, wow. So yeah, so I know for me now, for the rest of my life here. I’ll stay a vegetarian. It’s just the most healthy way for me to eat and feel. body feels good. Right? Absolutely. So feel great and love you. I love that, you know, we talked about I was just talking about having a conversation the other day with someone about depression and folks who suffer from depression have a baseline that even on their good days, their baseline is probably like one of our not so good days. And that’s the way my body is like my good days are really pretty good. But if I do something to thwart that it throws me down to Where I’m not, and I just don’t feel good. And I’m, I don’t want to not feel good anymore. You know, I’ve had enough days of that. Yeah. Where feeling good means something to me.
So I do what I? Absolutely, yeah.
I find with a brain injury that I had with a car accident that oils are good. So my body seems to function better with MCT oil and avocados and you know all of that stuff it, it feeds it. Yes. It’s truly funny when when you start listening to your body, to how you’re feeling when you’re eating certain things. Do you eat a lot of proteins of beans and peas them?
I don’t because those are like gas producing. And again, I’ve got to be careful I, I just don’t feel well. So and I know another gentleman. His name is Matt Embry. And he’s he’s from Canada, and he got a diagnosis when he was 19 have Ms. And his diet is much the same. Those of us who feel well who have been diagnosed with autoimmune can usually feel better if we’re specific dietary needs are, you know, requirements and that are followed. And he he does eat lean meat. His diet is lean meats, fruits and vegetables, no beings with guns or anything like that.
Because it is, you know, that just attacks the gut. Right. So corn and stuff like that’s difficult to, interestingly corn. Corn will bring on a flare in a minute. And I had read a study years ago about a woman who just had a severe corn allergy. And not lupus though, she was diagnosed with lupus. And when she took corn out of her diet, she was well, it was just a corn allergy. But those corn allergies can be extreme can mimic a lupus even to the point of testing positive for it crazy. So yeah, corn is not something that I go down that road at all with.
Yeah. So all the things that are similar are lawns disease, and lupus. What about Crohn’s disease? And there’s another one for the stomach. And that will IBS and, and I, yeah, fibromyalgia. So all of those kinds of things are all very similar to finding what it is that you can eat, that your body feels good for.
Yeah. And and, you know, it’s it’s too bad that that message isn’t delivered, necessarily, by Western medicine, don’t want to say that too loud. But like if if doctors would really acknowledge, acknowledge Yes, and just say, Hey, why don’t you try this? Because I’ve read plenty, even Heart Heart Doc’s who were wondering about, like you were mentioning earlier, diabetes is an autoimmune as well. And he’s a heart doctor started treating his heart patient or his diabetic patients who were also as heart patients with diet and found not only did their diabetes regulate, but their heart conditions did as well. Amazing what we can do with diet.
Did you try intermittent fasting?
I do that now. But I didn’t back that. I mean, every day was almost too fast for Yeah, 90 days of it back then. And then often, I would just, I would not even have the vegetables on a day I would you know, so. I intermittent fasting i think is is great for our bodies, and they and so much literature and information about that out now. Yeah.
Do you do it all the time, or just here and there then?
No, just in it’s almost, I wouldn’t call it a regime But often, I will eat my last meal at somewhere around two or three o’clock in the afternoon. So then it’s just sort of what it just sort of works in regularly for me that I’m not planning it out. Did you find any medicines or you know, whether they’re on the shelf or vitamins or anything that was helpful.
nutritional supplements are for me meds, I was just really allergic to everything out there. But there are nutritional supplements. You mentioned, oils, omega omega is are phenomenal for the brain. And so that’s something I take a lot of it’s great for brain fog, because with autoimmune generally comes brain fog.
But we would have to eat somewhere around 20 to 23 fish a week to get what our brain actually needs. And so we You just have to supplement with that. That’s something everybody should do. Antioxidants are super important. And probiotics and prebiotics are very, very important. I also take like eye vitamins, wanting to just keep those those things sharp and generally with autoimmune comes achy joints. So glucosamine is a really great, great thing to take as well. But there are difference in terms of absorbability and what supplements actually provide nutritional supplementation like help to the body because there’s a lot out there that doesn’t. So I found some great stuff.
Yeah, it sounds so much like fibromyalgia, you know, it’s like a combination of a whole bunch of things, right, like with the body and the soreness, and the headaches and the brain fog. And it’s unbelievable how all of those symptoms are wrapped up into one, your stomach not working right. You’re, you probably were you high and then lower, you know, you’d have a good day and then a bad day.
And well, mostly they were bad. You know, honestly afraid for a year and a half beginning for sir. Yeah, it was, yeah, for a long time. It’s just it’s just all bad. But, but I could see, you know, generally things I just had to believe what I was doing. It’s really amazing when I look back on it now because there were so many days that went by before I saw any improvement. Like why would you be doing this if you don’t but, but I did. And when you say Fibromyalgia that reminds me I, I had that diagnosis as well. There was a time when I was seeing that doctor for three years. He said, Well, you also have fibromyalgia. And good news is that usually lupus accompanied with fibromyalgia means you won’t have the damage to the major organs that lupus can do. You’ll just feel crummy for the rest of your life. And I’m like, thanks. I know. Right? So that was the bad news.
But I never I never talked about feeling not well for the rest of my life. Like again, there was that distinction that I made. I was always seeking. How do I get well read everything I could did every every research I material I could get my hands on I read every book about healing. I got every meditation I could have gotten about healing. I did like I was so bent on getting well that’s the only thing that came into my purview was how do I get well, so I think that was a huge piece of, of getting well is seeking it well, and not relying just solely especially 20 years ago. Like even 10 years ago, things have changed enormously with our foods have gluten free and our sugar free and our protein shakes and our you know, because those protein bars used to taste like cardboard. But now they’re not too bad. So they have come a long way. For sure. To to get something quick. That’s not like an Oreo cookie, or something. Right? Yes, absolutely. Yeah. So what about dairy? Have you stayed away from dairy as well?
I definitely try and stay away from dairy. And that’s something that really feeds autoimmune. When I watch Matt Embry, he says the same thing like his dad is a professor at a at a call University in Canada. And so are you was at the time when Matt got diagnosed. And of course, if your 19 year old son gets diagnosed with something like they should go to work to figure it out. And they I don’t have all of his research, but he does offer that and his research research has found that dairy will promote rapidly autoimmune. So that’s something that we need to stay away from. Yeah, all the good stuff, right?
Well, I just found out because I was wondering why I’m on the keto diet. So I eat butter. And butter was sitting on my counter. And it was not very yellow. And then I started thinking, why isn’t it melting? on the counter? Like what’s going on? Yeah. So then I started looking it up. And in February, I don’t know the United States but in Canada. They change the formula to what they can feed cows. So they’re giving cows palm oil is my understanding to increase the amount of milk that they can produce, so that they can make more dairy products that Yeah, but I thought why With all our wisdom and knowledge in the hierarchy, that we are supposed to avoid palm oil. It’s not good for the environment. It’s not good for the forests. It’s not good for our body. What are we doing? So many. So now I’m looking for real butter. Like and that’s hard to do. Is that not crazy?
Yeah, it totally agreed. I think there’s a there’s an Irish butter. That still is the real thing out there. But yeah, you it’s so important to continue. Yeah, we think we have it. And then we need to Yes. So I love your curiosity in terms of even looking that up, like what’s going on? And and finding that, that that’s the case. So that’s new to me. So I thank you for that. Because I’ll have to keep an eye out every night. I cook for my family too. So I’ll cook differently for me than I do for them. But I’ll because butter has a nice smell. But the other butter doesn’t. It’s like hard. It’s like a lard melt.
Wow. And so what does that gonna do to our bodies? it? I don’t know. But right. So that was scary. Yeah.
Then. So is the milk different? Is the cream different? You know, now you’re like asking about everything. Yes. It’s crazy. My mom was noticing that the milk has a skim of something around the glass. That is leaving like an oil. Yeah. So I don’t know if it’s in our milk now. But you know, they have to put it on the label every time. That’s right, because they’re not putting it into the end product. Yeah. They’re putting it into the feed that they’re giving the animals. Yeah. In some shape or form. I’m not really sure or understand why. Yeah. So if anybody out there knows. Write down a comment down below. I’d really appreciate it. listeners would to come on dairy farmers. Come on. Let’s look fine. Tell us why. Yeah, no, good. Good observation. Yeah, so what are they doing to their cheeses and everything else? Do you eat tofu? I don’t only because I’m allergic to soy. Oh, yeah. So that isn’t a protein that I can consume.
Gosh, that eliminates a lot of stuff.
Yeah, it’s easier just to think about what I can eat than what I don’t I’m in honestly, that’s just the way I have to look at it. And sometimes, I know over the years dieting and this and that I’ve always been that type of a person anyway, just tell me what I can do. I’ll make anything bad, if you will, when I was you know, doing the Atkins, I could make that a super. That’s when I did eat dairy I did for those for a few years there. And I have to say I didn’t feel bad on on that particular regime for a period of time. And then our body chemistry changes and then I had to change with it. So at the end, that’s a key thing. Our body is constantly changing. And to be in tune with what that is doing, you know, to listen, hey, why am I not feeling as well? Why am I more tired? When I get up in the morning? Why don’t I have as much energy during the day? These are questions we should be asking ourselves so that we can make the appropriate adjustments. What about goat products that were never tried and I’ve never tried them I go to great idea and I but at the same time, I’ve eliminated all of what would take its, you know what that would take his place of so it’s just better not to go down that road.
Because it might be an option for for some people. What about almonds, almond milk and almond butter and nuts.
So great guides to get I’m allergic to almonds so I can’t do the almond milk but I do rice milk. So if I you know and I can do some oat milk as well. So those are the the two things that are in my fridge right now. And then other stuff for my you know, for my family cereals, or any cereals that you can have like is there a granola or anything?
Great, another great question. So I am just thinking about what’s in my pantry right now and it’s rice checks if I have a cheat it would be that with some maple syrup and some rice milk. You know if I just want something sweet and feel normal? Yeah, yeah, it’s just it’s an easy, easy kind of small meal or whatever that I can eat if I get hungry
for lunch is there’s I think there’s rice roll ups now that you like a tortilla shells or there’s lots of corn ones but I think there’s rice now too. So you could use that with some vegetables and mayonnaise and mustard and kind of
So I don’t do the the condiments if you will. But what I would do is put the vegetables like, I’ll boil some vegetables and rice and put those in and have a have a vegetable rice wrap. Yeah, that’s it. That’s a tree.
That would be it sounds yummy. Yeah. So that could be a dinner too, I guess or Absolutely. Yep. So you have to make two meals one. One for you.
I do. I do. Indeed. So the kitchen. Yeah. Lots of fun.
So on to the next. So we talked about what we’re putting in our bodies. But we also have to know what medicines we talked about. What about in supplements? What about our environment, our water, our drinks, and our cleaning products?
Yeah, oh, just super on point questions, water, we do get purified water, we we we have a system to do that. And so it’s so important to drink good water know what kind of water you have had, if you don’t know, get it tested. In the US, it’s probably different than Canada. But in the particular neighborhood we live in the the water is so hard with calcium, they can’t even test how hard it is. So we Yeah, we have to do some alternate things there. And environmental. I didn’t know how much chemicals in this is more monitored and regulated in Canada than it is in the United States.
But there are a lot of chemicals and ingredients in just the things we brush our teeth with wash our hair, all those personal care things, cosmetics, laundry, cleaning all of those things here in the us that we just need to do better for so you can find some privately owned independent manufacturing companies that make them much cleaner. And I did that at 1.0. Fast forward probably 1518 years. And lupus is such a hormonal disorder that when I did all this research, when I was 30, I thought I’ll probably have some issues as I’m going through these hormonal shifts when I get older. And that’s exactly what happened. So I was able to live those 15-18 years or so just however I wanted stay out in the sun, what I wanted all of it. And then my body started slowing down again. And I started breathing heavy in this time. It wasn’t like I couldn’t breathe. It was just my heart rate was up all the time. And I went to the doctor and he sent me to the ER, once again on this road of what’s happening. And they diagnosed me with graves disease. Well, that’s an autoimmune issue where the the antibodies attack the thyroid, put your body in hyperspeed.
So my heart rate was 120, just at rest, which when I know right, I was on an eternal treadmill, I was tired, oh, my heart rate was going and so if I got up to unload the dishwasher was at 150. And if I was on the treadmill 180. So it can be dangerous. And they of course care about stroke and heart attacks and things like that. So I got home and I looked up what graves disease was. And I immediately called the endocrinologist and said, Hey, listen, you know all that blood you just took, could you please run a test for lupus? And she said, I can’t I won’t know how to read it. And I said, Well, I will. And of course my tests came back just as high as they had 1518 years prior. So devastated.
Absolutely. I didn’t know how I was going to get through this next bout of lupus because at the time, my husband had been furloughed from his position, I wasn’t working. And just to do what I did back that many years ago was 1000 bucks a month between supplements, the drink mix, I was offering food that you’re eating Exactly. And we didn’t have that we didn’t have it. And I went to bed one night and said, God, you’re gonna have to bring it to me. I had no resources, I had gone up to the clinic that I had healed with before. And it was going to be a $300 intake, they no longer took insurance all out of pocket. There wasn’t any money. And now we had three kids to support so it wasn’t like we could spend anything on my dealing.
It’s so frustrating because when you want to eat properly, it’s so much cheaper just to grab that McDonald’s hamburger and a bag of chips.
Yeah, it is the those go twos. Obviously that had to to stop like immediately. And I tried to replicate what I knew I had taken before omegas and antioxidants in these things, but to no avail. Because really the grocery store equivalent was not equivalent at all, but my niece had reached out and she shared with me a manufacturing company that I could start shopping that was clean, made great supplements. I did that and within the I mean the upside of the story was within three weeks I woke up one morning, no symptoms whatsoever. And within nine months, my blood tests reversed. So I know that chemicals that are in the things we use every day. I know that good nutrition. Yeah, if we can handle those things, those are key in terms of either regaining our health or remaining healthy.
And I know there’s a lot more products out there. Many more choices are Yeah. Then there used to be, I think, maybe 20 years ago, there was melaleuca. There was Watkins, there was. I’m not sure if Mary Kay fell into that for makeup or not. Then they may be now but not back then. Yeah, I’m just trying to remember some of the things but now there’s even at the grocery store here. There are organic products. I think Burt’s Bees have organic line. There’s makeup lines now. There’s laundry soaps that are organic, so to speak, I guess that’s how they’re labeling them. I’m not really sure what that means.
Yeah. And that’s, I think that’s key, the last time I looked, a lot of the things that we see out there have been gobbled up by the bigger companies. And people don’t know that. And so it is, what I can recommend is that people are extremely diligent in what brand they are using. Because there’s a lot of like you said, In the beginning, companies don’t have to put things on their labels here in the us back in the 1950s. There was legislation passed and for good reason back then it just doesn’t serve the people today. Yeah, for proprietary reasons. People in manufacturing companies don’t have to label put the ingredients that are in a product. So because it’s just again for proprietary so someone can’t another company couldn’t start up and use those same ingredients and make it then you’ve got competition, but now it just doesn’t support us in terms of the the shoppers, the consumers. So a lot of crazy stuff. I know there’s a lot of organic brands may naturally
But what is it it’s so difficult? It is whoever it is, I actually developed a class called what what toxins are lurking in your home. And I gave that at rec centers and libraries. Because I you know, people just need to be aware, I think that’s the first thing, awareness is key. And then the due diligence, like do your diligence, look and seek not just on a label, I there was one brand in particular that I had become aware of that the label looks on there’s, it’s an entire brand that you can find it the grocery store. And I went to I started just googling went to their website. And when you go to the website, that’s where you find where I found all the ingredients. And some of the really dangerous ingredients are in that brand. Just not on the label. But they do put it on a website. Yeah. So good.
That’s what I’m saying it’s a person has to do their due diligence, you have to look and if it’s something that is necessary for your next moment, do the research. Now, if it’s something that can wait on, you know, just do your research as it comes when you’re aware yet we don’t know what we don’t know. And when I got Well, in three weeks, after that last bout, eight, nine years ago, I went to work and I researched like crazy because I thought what on earth could be the things. You know, in these things. I’m using toothpaste and shampoo that could make me not just sick with one illness, but graves and lupus, like this is crazy. And I just would France. That’s all I did. I didn’t change any of my eating. During that time, a couple years ago, I changed but during that time, nothing and my blood tests went back to normal. I mean, that’s. So I did the research because I really had to, and I recommend that you know, for people who are struggling if you’re struggling with autoimmune or and there’s so much that falls into that category now eczema. Oh, definitely do the research.
Yeah, absolutely. I find I have a lot of I’ve had quite a few clients with lupus. And they would be good for a long time. And then, like you said you’d have about where it would reoccur. But do you know how long that time is going to last? And you don’t have to make that other shift again, like how do you change that? When it rains back?
Yeah, great question. So So for me, it was just another layer. It was what I was using in my home. For someone else. It might be some of the foods that they’re eating, but it just it just helps us layer by layer get better and better. The three things that I know are super important is what we’re putting in our bodies, what we’re putting on our bodies and the things that We’re breathing in and using to, you know, clean our homes and things like that we have control over those things. We don’t have control over what’s being sprayed outside or whatever. But the things that are inside our home, and that we put inside our bodies, we do have control over that.
Yeah. What types of things do you use for the family? Do you go the same way? Like you don’t eat differently, but is that it’s what I’m trying to say is that it’s hard. Not so much to have different foods for your family and you. But you want them to be healthy, too. So you want the mental stuff to stay healthy. You want the stuff they’re putting in their hair. Yep. And all of that kind of stuff. So you don’t do two types of things. We all shop the same store. Yep.
And everybody’s, well, you know, I have one of my kids, he has struggled with eczema and psoriasis, asthma, those kinds of things. And as long as he sticks with this brand, he’s fine. So even laundry detergent. I mean, that’s a big deal. Yeah, yeah, I’ve heard of that from allergies, and eczema and things like that, too. Yeah. We say excema.
And you say eczema? Either way. Yep. eczema, I can call it that, dude. It’s funny how we say things a little bit differently. What types of things? Do you speak on them when you do your speaking engagements? Sure. Well, I
love to speak on overcoming the obstacles in our lives, and using those obstacles to redirect us to the true path that we’re supposed to be on. That’s what happened to me and I listened those those folks out there who have overcome the obstacles can speak to very much the same thing. You know, we find our true selves, our other self, as some authors write about when we get to be challenged with adversity. And it’s what we do with that, that makes a difference in terms of not just surviving, but thriving, giving back to others, and sharing what we know, so that we can bless someone else along the way.
And it’s, it’s quite funny how you said that we have to learn how to eat, we have to learn what our environment is, we have to learn what we’re putting on our body. And it’s very similar, I found working with clients for risk, as well. Because with your backup plan, it’s nice and easy to use, but people don’t understand why they have to do certain things in the app. So when I created the emerging blueprint, that’s the part of the research that I like that, that you say that you help with, because that’s what I help with. So with people understanding, why do they have to have a will? Why do they need a power of attorney?
People think well, and they know they need it, but they don’t understand why? What is their life insurance policy look like? Under being able to understand it. So you can talk the same language, when you go in to see that financial expert, when you see that investment advisor, understanding what you have before you reach that point of discussion. And it’s very similar to what you’re saying, is understanding what’s in your products, understanding what it could do or influence to your body. You know, if we don’t understand it, we’re not going to do it. That’s what I found if you don’t understand what’s in the butter, and you just continue using it that way. But if you’re starting to read research and understand why you have to do certain things, it makes things so much easier.
Yes, so understanding does put us into action, where maybe we wouldn’t have before.
Yeah, yeah. And now I’m worried Well, what are they doing to the aches? What are they going to chicken?
I know it’s a list goes on? It does and I know a lot of people who raise their own chickens now get their own eggs and then those who don’t but are in the know by their eggs from them. So you know, we’re We are an evolving people and we will find alternatives. And I think that’s that’s what, like what you’re doing is so important, Tina, because you’re giving people simple, easy steps to take care of these things that we’re generally not good at taking care of And if we can look at our health in the same way you can take care of all those things. But if you don’t have your health, all those things don’t matter. The only thing that matters when you’re sick is how do I get well? And if we can take care, just be mindful, being mindful. What are we shopping for? What are we eating and finding those nuggets along the way? That, oh, I found this thing, you know, that. Just so glad I found this brand, or this, just this little snippet of information. And so it’s not, we can never do a big overhaul in our lives all at once. But we can take on something new every week. Like if it’s just one thing a week. Yeah, I’m going to tackle this this week. And it makes us feel so good about what we’re doing. Yeah, yeah, it feels this, you know, we just we know we’re on the right track. And, yeah, do you have any recipe books?
I don’t, because my so in my book called life after lupus. I do share what I eat and how I fix those things. But it only takes up a few pages because my diet is so limited, so it wouldn’t be worth it. But I can say, for your listeners, Matt Embry has a website called Ms. hope.com. And he provides a cookbook a free cookbook for anybody you can go there and download it and or you can have it sent to you for free. He literally does everything. So very generous with his time, I would recommend following him. You know if anybody does have MS and or any autoimmune disorder, follow the people that have gotten Well, he’s one I’m one. So Matt Embry, again, he’s a Canadian, and then myself on the life after lupus, two different autoimmune but very similar wellness stories.
Absolutely. Where’s he located in Canada? Do you know, Toronto or Ontario say Alberta, but I’m not sure. Okay. Okay. Yeah, just in case anybody in that area listening that? That would know? Yeah, that’s awesome. I would love to, you know, I be the perfect person, even though I don’t have that type of disease. But I would love to watch you on Instagram and Tiktok to what you’re making every day. So there you go. There’s a love for you.
Okay, all right. So many people that want to eat better. Right? And where do you start? Like, what do you do I, I 100%. Understand, you know, whether I want to lose weight, or whether you want to eat properly, or better, or mix it into your diet two or three times a week, or whatever that looks like, right? Yeah, yeah. Good. Good thoughts. I appreciate that. I see one of your watchers.
Okay, I’ll maybe have to look at doing that. Come to my kitchen. Absolutely. I want to see the tick tock dances as well. I haven’t ventured onto that platform yet. But I mean, people keep telling me really, but yeah, so anyway,
there you go. I’m one of many telling you now. So your books you only mentioned one. So what are your books all about?
So I do write daily devotions and prayers. And I have a book that is a 90 day devotional. I have a prayer book. I have written a bunch of poems to my kiddos. So for Christmas, I put all their poems that I’ve written them so they don’t have to find them in scraps, your backup plan, that’s a perfect fit. I wanted to you know, so they weren’t having to look and find all these things when I’m gone. I put prayers and poems in a book for them. And that’s part of the treasure box. Yes, yeah, yeah. And I told the kids we’re not going to do a four by you Christmas this year. And I didn’t want them to buy it was like all homemade gifts. So I decided to upload that on Amazon. And then my latest book is one on I’ve written about 100 songs and with each one of the lyrics with those songs goes a story. So I did publish that book as well called Gods whispers and melodies, and upcoming books a couple of journals that can help people really get a great start for their day and eventually writing on mindset in a biblical ways so that I think the maybe some believers some Christians who haven’t been able to accept some of the positive mental attitude things out there can can really see this is what Jesus said. It’s just in a different way. So that’s upcoming, those are some upcoming cool,
do you sing and play music as well? or? Yeah, and that’s, I have some of that on my YouTube channel. Oh, cool. Yeah. Did you want to do a little song for him? Not at all.
That has to be thought of and prepared and not a problem. It’s it sounds lovely. Anyways, it was a beautiful, I tell you inside of a few years and it was I was sitting at the piano one day and I just pray God was ever blessed praise and worship. And literally, his download of a song came that it could be a cantata, like could be done with an orchestra and, and it was so overwhelming out, oh my gosh. And that happened in three days. And then song after song just I just kept hearing the music and I go, and I find it at the piano. And the lyrics would come. And sometimes the lyrics would come before I’d get the notes, but it’s like God wrote this gorgeous music. And it was a very transformative time in my life. Like that’s how we he grabbed a hold of my heart and softened it and made it usable by him. So it was when I get too busy I quit hearing the music and that’s why I’m saying like, though that now we get through it right now but but when I get quiet and and really avoid the chaos, I start hearing the music again.
Well, it’s kind of like when you’re going inside yourself. And it’s a meditation type of thing that you can download this type of energy, right? What do you play the piano then? guitar or just the piano? Oh, that must be beautiful. Now you’ve got me interested in hearing these? So it’s on your YouTube channel?
Yes. Well, I have two YouTube channels. One is life after lupus and the others just my name where I you can find me under Andrea Lende.
I’m okay. Okay, perfect. So listeners, I’ve put down below all the types of all of Andrea’s descriptions below. I believe I have Anyways, I hope I have. I’ll double check it, but I’ll make sure it’s all there for everybody. Did you have any final messages that you’d like to give to people struggling with these types of auto immune diseases,
I just really want to impress upon any anyone suffering from autoimmune that there is a possibility of healing, that our bodies are meant to heal. And if we just open that up a little bit, we’ll be on a different path. And so that’s really my message for them. And for those who aren’t sick, see what we can do to just feel better. There’s so many people who are walking around and not feeling well every day. And there’s some very simple changes we can make to reverse that.
Yes, and a lot of times it ends up it starts in your stomach. It I’ve read that over and over that every disease starts in the gut. So what are we putting in? My mom, I remember being a young kid, and my mom would say, which one? Is the boss of your body? Is it your brain? Or your stomach? Yeah, I think it’s your stomach.
And now even a lot of psychiatrists are finding there’s there’s more neuro receptors in the gut than there are in the brain. So they’ll treat even schizophrenia now with probiotics. And within a year episodes are far diminished. There’s There’s magic in the gut. We just have to find it. Treat it well, because it does regulate everything else.
Absolutely. Suzanne Somers has really amazed me because she’s gone through cancer. Previously, she’s changed her diet. She has quite a few books out for eating, which are very, very helpful for anybody wanting to lose weight or eating healthier, as well. I don’t know if you’re aware, Andrea, but she’s come out with a gut protein mixture for your gut. And she and she has a pure organic skincare line as well.
So go Suzanne Somers. I’m right with you, right. Yep. Agreed. So anybody listening, check her her website out as well. If you’re wanting to look further into better products that you can’t find at the drugstore or grocery stores around you. That’s I guess, where the natural food stores have become so very popular lately, in the last, I’ve seen a real change in the last 10 years. Yeah. Yeah. For people. So thank you, Andrea, for coming on. I can’t believe all your words of wisdom. Oh, my pleasure. Thank you for having me, Tina. It was a real delight to have you come on and really give some people some inspiration to have a better day to look at what you’re eating. Look at what the environment is giving you. And if you’re not sure about your butter, put it on your counter and see what happens. Right. Oh, craziness. I just can’t believe the world we live in now. It’s But even before, like, Who would ever think that our dairy products would change? Right? Crazy.
Till next time, lots of love. Bye
I want to personally thank Andrea for coming on our Podcast with all of her wisdom around figuring out Lupus. There are many suffering right now with it and hopefully Andrea has made it a bit easier with some tips for you. Enjoy!
Here are Andrea’s Links:
website: https://www.believinghim.com
Author Page on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Andrea-Lende/e/B08MB5XCSC
Life After Lupus Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/lifeafterlupus/
Youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWdaqtF3fxfsuZ4gnNXQ9IQ
Downloads from God Podcast: https://anchor.fm/andrea-lende
Author/Speaker303-960-7584
ESTATE PLANNING, Executor Planning, Family Planning, Preparedness
BEING PRESENT WITH THE DYING
Being present with the Dying, is an understanding of being in the moment, in the now to embrace assisting your loved ones move forward into the next step.
“He said, “”There are only two days in the year that nothing can be done. One is called yesterday and the other is called tomorrow, so today is the right day to love, believe, do and mostly live””, Dalai Lama
And we have a very special guest today, Linda Bryce, and she comes to us from beautiful, beautiful Massachusetts, United States. So let me tell you about all the other fun things that we talk about here on our podcast. We focus on real and raw conversations with our listeners, about their journey from a life changing event in their life.
So join us as we dive headfirst into Your Backup Plan APP and what it all means. Your Backup Plan APP, put your life Yes, your life all in one place. Everything that’s up into your head that no one else knows about. Yeah, all that stuff, in case of any unpredictable circumstance will taking the painful Aftermath out of a tragedy. And what does that mean? It means to be prepared for the unexpected. Because we are all going to die. get sick, we’re going to get disabled or injured, or lose everything in a disaster or a tragedy. So be prepared for the unexpected because it won’t happen to me is an illusion. Because you are not Superman. We all live complicated lives and we really need to be better prepared. Just like the pandemic COVID-19 taught us all a very big lesson that it can happen to you in the blink of an eye. The recent building that collapsed in Miami, Florida. It can happen in the blink of an eye. Did everyone see that building come down in the blink of an eye? Yes, wildfires are happening all over the world, especially here in British Columbia. With the heatwave that we’ve had, we have five minute evacuations, what will you take with you? Those are all things that your backup plan prepares you for. So the first is that I wanted to remind you all that we are always to provide the show notes of each of our episodes in our blog. So if you’re interested in learning more about any of our guests, then check out our YouTube channel, or see our show notes in this week’s episode in our block, you’ll also find social media links and for all of our guests, and you can continue to follow their journeys. The next thing I wanted to remind you is to be sure be I can’t talk to be sure and subscribe to many S’s to the show, so you don’t miss any future episodes. Right down here in the corner, press the subscribe button, and like the like the show as well. And while you’re at it, some fun things that we have planned that are coming around the corner are please rate and review the show on iTunes and Google Play. For when you’re listening to the podcast, we are starting a fantastic giveaway. And these are just so much fun. We’re going to keep choosing our top reviewers to receive some really cool your backup plan tribe, life merchandise. So when you leave a star rating, between one and five stars, here’s what’s going to happen. So when you leave a wonderful comment, or rating or review, or what you think of the show or what you share to others, or your five star review on our podcast or episode, we will draw a person every single month and make sure that we mail you some cool merchandise. For those winners, I don’t want you to miss out on the opportunity opportunity to give you some really cool stuff. Because it shows that we know that the prize is going to be super good to you that love us and love our show. And we want to thank you for doing that. So, today Okay, now that we’ve gotten all this sort of business out of the way.
Let’s get back to talking about our subject today. All right, Talking TABOO with Tina podcast listeners. I’m so excited for our special guest today.
Her name is Linda Bryce, and I’m going to bring her on today from beautiful Massachusetts. And hello to all of those out there in viewing land. Yes, this is not the truth. It is a viewing land. So thank you for Massachusetts for joining us today. Linda. I’m just gonna give a brief introduction for our listeners. So Linda is an amazing, amazing person. She is a former attorney and our artist, a university faculty. She is a death doula and a bed sight singer. She Let’s see here. While might she says while my experience is vast and colorful, it has led to hundreds of bedsides and the passionate work I do now to serve the dying and those who love them. And I’m so excited today, Linda, because I talk about being present to people, our listeners all the time. Because you can never get that time back again. Once it’s gone, it’s gone.
So we need to be really considerate about those times those precious moments that we are given by the universe to spend that special time with others, the ones that we love and care about so much. And I know that you have quite the story if it’s brought you to where you are today. So maybe you could start off with where did it all start for you, Linda.
I’ve always been about music. And what came into my head immediately was the lyric from an I don’t know whose song it is.
But it’s been a long and winding road. My oldest daughter turns 39 in a couple of months. And when she was beginning to walk, I remember walking into a nursing home and asking, Do you have anyone here who gets no visitors? We would like to visit like Where’d that come from?
Although I was raised more by my grandparents than my parents, for lots of reasons. And so I spent my growing up years around old folks. You know, one of one of the exercises, I, I suggest to people is that just because my experience and sort of my tendency, if you will, is to spend time with elders who are sick or dying, that you may be drawn to a different group of people, maybe for children, no.
So, um, the years go by, I’m a lawyer, I’m working in health law, I worked on legislation for nursing home, to change the conditions, or change the standards.
As a college student, I helped the local medical school create a local neighborhood health clinic, you know, and, and I, even myself, I didn’t begin to piece all these things together. But a number of months ago, I was taking a walk with someone who was new to me, we’re getting used to each other. And she says, so what have you done in health, Linda? Meaning before when I do now, and I started seeing this thread, and there’s, I’m sure there are threads in each of our lives and each of your lives, threads that when you when you begin to pay attention, and look back, it’s like, oh, yeah, you know, this happened. Oh, yes. That happened. And, and then, and then where I lived at the time, and my children were growing up. I worked with two other churches, there were, there were three churches on three corners. And representatives from each of the church, this came together.
And we created a an adult care center. So for families who had a person who needed who could, who could use some socialization outside of the home and give the caregiver a break. Right. And then we put together the funding for it and the staffing and all like that. So it’s like, okay, so fast forward, though, to what brings me to where I am now is then six years ago, my husband died. And, of course, I was I was there, you know, in his last hospital day, and however long that unfolded, and, and it would have been helpful to have your backup plan. This is the messiness, folks when you don’t get it together ahead of time, there is a saying that I’ve read about and heard about. It’s always too soon. until it’s too late. Right? We always have excuses.
Oh, it’s too soon. It’s too soon. I’m healthy. No problems. It’s too soon. You know, I’m young, it’s too soon. And then as you’re saying something unexpected happens. And then what? Yeah. And then after, after he died. maybe six months later, my aunt, and I’m very close to those cousins that aren’t. And I didn’t even ask, I said, I’m coming to me. Can I fix it? I’ll say I said, Well, no, no. Let’s be careful. Please, don’t mix. Well, no, because that’s Isn’t that an issue for us. When we’re fully present we want to fix we wanted well, but we think helping is fixing. Oh, I’m gonna give you advice. Oh, my person that I know use this other treatment. Um, are you sure the doctors are an all you’re doing is heaping on for more burden and stress and oh, my gosh, you know, and, and, and we’re taking the focus off of the person who should be the focus have our presence.
Not only that you’re causing the stress amongst everyone else that might be around as well. That’s right.
So I was I was with her and, you know, supporting her supporting my, my cousins. In hindsight, because so to two things happened with my aunt then one is I’m not knowing what a death doula was not even having heard that terminology. Now looking back now that I have a certificate, as an end of life doula, I was doing those kinds of things, for her, and with my cousins.
And the other was on the night, that would be her last. And she’s restless hand, it’s, of course, the middle of the night. And I’m reading from her Bible. And as a Catholic, she always said the Rosary. So I was doing that. And then I started singing. It was a natural impulse. Because singing has been a part of my life. And I began singing, singing songs from her tradition. And just, I don’t know, singing with her, it would help her feel at peace. Oh, Oh, sure. We can. I hope we get to talk about bedside singing in its own little nugget. Because there’s, there’s so much there. But to get to where I am now then, is two months, three months after I returned, there was an ad in our local paper. And they were looking for singers for a new choir to sing at the bedside of the dying. Oh, man. And that’s how then what is now called the Berkshire threshold choir. How it was created? Is that new? Is that a new thing? It was new, it was new in 2016. Yes, and I was one of the original members.
I then also went through hospice training, and seeing for persons who are referred by hospice, only, not only those who are in hospice, and I also am separate from singing what’s called a vigil volunteer. So when someone now is very close to the end, and we sit vigil, right, don’t we say that we’re here. And, and if if family is around, or friends around, if they’re able to do that, if they’re willing to do that, we can have a discussion about that, you know, what does it mean to be fully present? And what are some of the obstacles or barriers to people being there? But you’re there around the clock, you’re sitting vigil, until the last breath. And so I go, and I sing, and I sit in silence. And I find myself here today. Because, because what I do, and this is another thread throughout my entire teaching and education and, and sharing my life, what I do, every single one of us can do.
And my mission is to encourage you and support you and show you how you can be there and why it really is best if you can be and we forgot to mention your book, Linda, the courage to care. Being fully present with the dying is the subtitle. Yeah. Yes. So what would that look like for you after gone through your husband’s passing and your and what does that look like for you to tell the listeners what being present what singing is for the people that you’re with at the moment? What does that picture look like?
Okay, so if we, if we focus for a moment on the singing, I receive a referral from hospice, they say, Mary, we’d like you to come and sing for Mary’s family, we’d like you to come and sing.
I should also say that being fully present with it dying, but remember dying. I’m dying. From the moment we’re born, we’re dying.
Right? So, if in your mind when you hear the word dying, you are visualizing someone on their deathbed. Well, yes. But most often, no. These are individuals who are still alert, maybe still ambulatory. Now we had a young man say, Okay, I’m still alive, give me you know, none of this. None of this soothing, consoling end of life check out different kinds of music. But yes, but then it means and on the first visit, the first visit, it’s Hello, I’m Melinda. And I’m here to share some music with you when to sing some song. With that few all right with you?
Oh, yes. Now, as a threshold singer, we have our own repertoire. Over 500 songs, many of which were written by other singers. And a sidebar, really fun. The story is that soon after I began singing events side, I received my first song and I have to say received, because it came through me words and music. And in the years, since I might be out walking, and a song would come, I might be on retreat, and a song would come, I might be reading something in a book, and a song would come. Some of those songs, my chapter now sings regularly at the bedside. There’s always silence in between songs. Think about throwing that pebble in the pond and the ripples. Right? That’s, that’s the way the vibration of our speaking. And if our singing also goes out. And if you throw a pebble in and then throw another pebble in, and those two, right, they don’t have their own space.
The same happens when you sit. Or I should say the same happens, I think, I would suggest when any of us listens to music, doesn’t it bring to mind maybe some Association. Or we pick up on a particular phrase or a particular word. And somehow we’re staying with that. Where there’s a piece of the melody that really resonates with us. And we stay with that melody. If when we’re finished with that song on, we immediately go to another one. interfering with the interior reception of that song we’re interacting with that listener is doing inside. So there’s always silence. No, Simon and Garfunkel said the sounds of silence. Right. It’s all sound.
Absolutely. So that helps people be more present. Have you ever been around any of the families that kind of need a check? Like a check in you know, they’re talking there’s too stressed around each other as well as themselves. They’re not being present to allow the same the discussion the nice story Perhaps or or whatever the family wishes to do to talk about. I mean, it’s definitely not the time to talk about Where’s your will? And how many, you know, where are your bank accounts? I have, excuse me, I have already been in a nursing home singing to someone when family is there, and the army, they start talking about who’s going to get the ball. And this person hasn’t, hasn’t died yet. It’s, that’s a great example of not being present.
No, if you want to have a shout, who’s going to get the possessions? Could you please name the row? My strong suggestion, please leave the room even individuals who are no longer speaking, who are not responsive, and you will hear and read this everywhere that hearing is one of the last senses to leave, they can still hear and how distressing
is it to be there in bed approaching your last breath and your family or so called friends are discussing those kinds of matters. Exactly. That. I will also say and I’ve seen this countless times is that once I or we, because we try and go in pairs so that there’s hardly any begin singing our songs. There is a transformation in the feeling of the room. And he even in those family members who may have just been elsewhere. Well, I mean, let’s face it, it comes down. Everybody comes down.
They all come. They all come with their fears. They’ve all come they’re nervous, they’re anxious, they’re don’t know what’s gonna happen next. All of that stuff. So this helps relieve that. That anxiety
it calms them and comfort them as much as the person in the bed. Nice. Can you give us an example a little example. Oh, gee. Um, okay. So I’m, I’m being mindful of copyright and all of these songs. So I will I will. I will choose one of my one of my one of my songs. I knew you were going to do this without knowing you were going to do this
May you know that you may be more they up
Thank you for the silence.
That’s beautiful. I muted myself so I could really, really enjoy it. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so very much.
You’re welcome. That came from a pilgrimage in Wales. Oh, really? Yes, my, my, my, one of my sons in law is Scottish. My husband was Irish. You were mentioned during your Irish viewers and listeners. He was from County Wicklow folks. My son in law is from Stirling, Scotland, his family still over there. He’s now married to my third daughter. And when they had a big celebration, after they were married, had a celebration in Scotland that they wanted some of my daughter’s family, the bride’s family to make the trip.
So I said to myself, okay, I said all the way to Scotland, for when he I know, I will go back to Wales, and take the pilgrimage that I had wanted to do.
Several years earlier, I had heard that they’ve finished their Coastal Walk and so forth. And once a number of years ago, my husband and I went out there for a wedding, not in Wales, but wedding in England. And when he couldn’t come last minute work, I went, I rented a car. And driving on the other side of the road. Notice folks, I did not say the wrong side, it’s just the other side, just like you would say, I drive on the other side. I ended up in Wales. Holy well, and then along Anglesey Island, and I had always said to myself, Oh, I need to come back here. And so I put that those two together. And I walked around the island 130 miles on there, to walk while I was doing that. I was visiting cemeteries, nice old cemeteries, to who knows who goes there anymore.
And I found myself looking at the headstones, reading them, and asking questions. And you know, I, I do that even at bedside, when I’m called to sing, for example. And when it’s vigil, so someone is dying now. And I haven’t sung to this person before, in the quiet yet in the silence between someone’s I’m asking, you know, I wonder who you were, and what your glorious life was? And what, you know, what, what might your history be? And are there people? So I was I was doing that, as I was walking around. And this the first part that the IP see a piece? And yeah, you’re still remember, no one else I’m remembering right now. You know, and you’re always loved. And I would, I was playing with that as I was walking. And that someone was the result? Oh, wow.
That’s so cool. Um, what are the other things that they enjoy doing? After the music? Do they just like to tell stories and hold hands? And what are kind of some of the kinds of things?
Yeah, you know, I would say, Yes, all of that. And the first part of being present is we need to be first part of being fully present is we need to be present. I hear so many individual tools who, Oh, I can’t do that. Why? I want to remember them the way they were. That’s, that’s one. Or I’ve been I had, I was at a writers conference. And this woman said to me I never go see my family who were dying. I said, Really? Why not? She said, because I am guilty about not having kept in touch as often as I thought I should. And I was about to say something back to her. And she turned on her heel and walked off. You know, here’s okay. So you haven’t seen them in a while. But go Why did your family you know what? Your family whether they’re strangers, people I speak to they’re not family. They aren’t friends, they become friends. Why? Because I make a commitment to visit. I tell them that. And that’s, that’s part of the being present. You’re saying you are worth my time. You are important. Your life was important is important. No, you are remembered. You are respected. I mean, this is this is how many of us when we know this company, put on our stripe because we want to look our best. And you’re seeing people who are you seeing them in this intimate? situation?
Who can only be who they are? Well, impossibly Yes. And look the way they are.
But but that’s so I remind people, you know, they’re more than just this moment. I have this stop, see the whole person, you know, see the whole person. They’re more than this illness. They’re more than what they look like. They had they had a wonderful life. Their spirit is still vibrant. know, when I now share that, there that connection? Absolutely. And I know when my ex father in law was passing away. I couldn’t stay in the room. Actually. I got too hot. I was burning up, sweat was pouring down. me like I was working out.
Everyone else was sitting around with jackets on. And I wanted to strip down. I couldn’t stand the heat in the room. There was so much energy in that room. Thank you. Because I was gonna say yes, yeah. As soon as I went out of the room, and down the hallway, it was like, Oh, my God, the air conditioner came on. And I’d walk into all these other rooms, and they’d be lying in bed all by themselves. And I’d hold their hand and I’d ask them why they’re here, what they were doing if they could speak. And I talked to them. And even if they couldn’t speak, I’d I nod and try and just speak to I didn’t saying I’m not a singer, but I did talk to them. And even one lady came out of the shower. And the nurse had just basically thrown the towel on her and she was sitting in this wheelchair, practically naked. And here’s, they called me, Florence Nightingale, because I was going around helping these different people. Because I couldn’t stay in the room. I was sweating. And then once whence, throughout the time, I popped my head in and said try to sit down for a while. I noticed him shaking his head like No, no. And it wasn’t because like people were just talking amongst each other. But he was shaking his head. I really feel that he was shaking his head because they were coming to get him. They were saying it’s okay. You can come it’s safe to come. We want you and he’d shake his head. No. So the energy was so overwhelming for me that I could have literally just fainted right there on the floor. That’s how powerful it was. And I guess I didn’t realize it at that time. So I would go out and that’s why I’d go down the hallway and try to help others and then come back in. But I just want few listeners and viewers. To know that there’s, it’s powerful, it’s a powerful moment that you don’t want to say no to ever. It’s, it’s, it’s a miracle. Really, it’s it’s absolutely a miracle. Sorry to interrupt your story. You didn’t, you didn’t.
That’s another aspect of being fully present, paying attention to the energy, you know, paying attention to how, how it’s feeling different. Paying attention to that shaking of the head, there, there are, there are other books that in their entirety. Talk about what often happens. In fact, so in one book, the author, Maggie Callahan, calls it nearing death awareness, nearing death, awareness, she’s given it a name. This is an old book, I began in the 1990s. But it’s, it’s exactly about that. And even in some of the interviews I did for my book, it comes up again.
I want to go back centuries. You know, so very different from today, where we tend I want to be careful with my language, different today, where there are those of us who don’t want to be present. Because we’re afraid, because like this young woman, we’re guilty. are we feeling guilty? but also from I’ve had people say, but what’s correct? It’s this what’s correct, I don’t want to do the wrong thing. What’s the right thing? Whatever else is going on, it keeps us away from this time, which will not come again, centuries ago, and even not that Fargo. People routinely wanted to be wanted to be at the bedside. One because this person was considered a community member, and you honored every community member, and the life they had and the connection they had and the contribution they had, just by being a member of the community. So you wanted to be there. And they wanted to be there because of that, because they believed that as that veil thins, and we’re we’re passing out of this physical body and regaining our spirit nature. Before before we transition and crossover, there’s this time where we’re seeing people who are already there, and we’re getting messages. And we’re talking to people who are already there. And they’re saying, Oh, yeah, I want to be here for these words of wisdom that might be coming through.
There are books that as I mentioned, books, and including a couple of in several of the interviews, I did also
the surviving family, talk about Oh, yeah, my dad was looking up this way, this way, this way. And I and I asked what’s going on dad? And he says, oh, their armies up there. And they’re moving. And they’re, Oh, okay. What’s going on? is fighting? No, they’re not fighting. They’re making plans. They’re making plans. You know, and, and sometimes, this nearing death awareness, you’ll hear people use different language, like, I have to get my ticket. Or I need to make sure I’m packed. You know, it’s their language, this well indicates that they know they’re getting ready. where they are in their journey. That’s right. That’s right. If we pay attention, if we are fully there, we’re not checking our phones. We’re not we’re not wondering how long this is going to take. Or you know who’s coming to dinner. I mean, whatever. Whatever else is going on in their life, just be here, just be here and share this this amazing mystical time.
Absolutely. Where did you see the shift from? When it’s almost, if anybody this watch the Charlie in the Chocolate Factory, that’s what I visualize when the grandpa was dying. And that kind of timeframe? Where are they all sat around the bedside of someone passing away? Where did that kind of shift for us when we came into the 60s? Or the 70s? Or was it after the war? Or? So?
I’m not sure I understand your question, Where did we shift away from being a bedside? Mm hmm. Where did that it seems to have taken on in By the mid By the mid 1900s, you know, night, my 1950s on since then. And I would, I would suggest being generous about this, that there are some other factors contributing to it. We’re more mobile society. You know, in one generation, my, my dad worked in the factory at this particular place, and he was there until he retired. How many of us these days will spend our professional lives in one employ, it doesn’t happen and more likely with the exigencies of economics and so forth, we move to where the work is. So we may not we may not be living where our elders are. We may not be able to go back to where elders are. We may not be able to afford now health care I granted is different in Canada than it is here in the States. It’s terrible here.
When when you’re old and sick folks, and the prices so that contributes to it, then it contributes and, and, you know, now, my mom died at home on hospice. She and my dad, were living in Florida, and I’m up here in the northeast, I would go down and visit, I would go down and visit, I would go down and visit. And the last time I went and visited was turned out it was maybe two weeks before, before she she took her last breath. But I couldn’t be there. I had a family and for children. Now my dad after his stroke, I brought him up to Pennsylvania. He wanted to go there it’s like it had a connection for him. We don’t need to go into all that but and then eventually, because I was driving five hours each way every week to check in on him in addition to telephoning you know.
I then when we moved again, I moved in with with us now with us didn’t mean in the same house. Because he needed ranch. We had stairs, I mean, you know so so then you get into those kind of living arrangements. Where can can you even even if your heart were there to want to have an elder live with you is the setup. One that supports that, and it wasn’t. So as long as he could be he was in his own little apartment in town. And I was always there and driving him here and there and then when the next stage was shot defined in the assisted living facility for him. What was fortunate at the end was because he was a veteran, he sought action in world war two in the Pacific. I was able to get him into a Veterans Hospital. And he lived on their long term care award. Oh, that’s nice until he died. And, you know, he was among guys. I mean, there were women, we females tend to have longer life expectancies. So when you have men in these assisted living facilities and so forth, the ratio is so skewed.
Is that when all the men think they died and gone to heaven with all the women around?
Um, I wouldn’t say that. No, no, perhaps perhaps, an individual might. But no, you know, this, this this way he was among he was among guys. And they had, they had that connection of being better veterans that step and have lots of visitors. Including me, I mean, he was only 45 minutes away. So he was he was still within, within driving and visiting distance. There are a lot of there are there are multiple, complex reasons and situations why we can’t always be with someone with a family member at their last breath, right? As an M. Yes. And when you talk about unexpected, you know, unexpected developments, not only COVID to being taking people and dying, but then also also interfering
with, with our natural traditions that help with our grieving with being there, and funerals and community and memorial services. And I like that. Yeah.
Well, I want to mention to the listeners that it just, if you can be there and be present, for that moment in time, you won’t regret it. And it just feeds your soul. It just feeds, it’s so far deep inside you that it might make you sad on the outside. But it’s just it’s just tickety boo on the inside. It just makes you feel so wonderful inside. I can’t explain it.
Some of the hospice hospice workers and nursing aides that I that I interviewed for the book said that the most sort of complaint, if you will, for remark that they hear from survivors is regret. I didn’t go I wish I had gone even friends, you know, longtime friends, I drove my dad out from Pennsylvania to Jersey, and and we found that the wife was in the hospital and the husband was actively dying. And then in, in a nursing home. And so we went out to see him. And, and you don’t have to worry about what to say or what to do. Just be there. You know, my, my dad said to me, I said to Joe and I talked to Joe a little bit. He was he was alert enough to be able to say weekly. Oh, I al good to see. You know, I mean, they had known his his wife was my mother’s maid of honor. That’s how long friends they were. And, and I said, you know, I’m going to let the two of you just sit here. And and I tell this story. You know, my dad kind of looked at me like, Don’t leave me alone.
I said, just just tell them what you’ve been up to just tell them that what you remember about the times together? You know you can do that when you know this person. Or maybe it’s something from your someone from your neighborhood. Maybe it’s someone from your congregation. I mean, you have this, you have this connection, this bond. Yes, you do. And, and so what I want to say is please don’t wait until the end. You Know when someone receives a challenging diagnosis. And then when it becomes clear it’s terminal. And now, the focus is on comfort care rather than cure. Way too often read the literature, it’s heartbreaking. Friends begin to die off, friends begin to die off. I just realized what I just said, you know, that’s crazy. Yes. It’s like this is when this person needs you to affirm who they are, and their place, in your mind and in your heart.
Do you have to stay well, no, you don’t have to stay long. Their energy might not permit you to stay long or for them to want you to stay long. But don’t abandon them. When you read so many individuals say oh, I feel abandoned. I’m isolated. No one comes anymore. No one calls. No one checks up. No one checks in. No one loves me. That’s the bottom. No one loves me. No one cares. I’m already dead to them. Right. Wow. That’s deep. So it doesn’t take much. No, it doesn’t take much stay in touch. Bring music. You heard Tina say she’s not much of a singer. I’m sure she sings in the shower or something like that or in the car with the radio. But music and just a quick go back to that I don’t have time we have left but then side singing. I looked up and there is a Vancouver and I have no clue how close this is to you. But there is a Vancouver threshold choir a Bowen Island threshold choir and a Quadra Island Campbell River threshold choir and you’re part of Canada. If you don’t, you can have threshold singers maybe come but just music, sing songs from the person’s generation sing songs that they grew up with. Yeah. And if you need to go, and this is one of my your backup plans is have a playlist, you can begin now to put together songs I have that you want to be part of a playlist when you’re getting closer.
To the end. Yes, yes. To the end of the beginning. Music has been called medicine. There’s so much research on the benefits. The health benefits, the emotional benefits on and on, of music, bring music, even if you aren’t going to sing, bring music. That’s beautiful. I would say to anybody, if you don’t know what to say, you don’t need to say anything. Just write music. And Touch. Touch is the most wonderful thing. hold their hand, hold their arm, whatever. It’s just you’re you’re there, you’re present, you’re with them.
And I would I would add as you do that. I know in one of the one of the suggestions hospice gives us is to put our hand underneath so that they can pull theirs away. We need to be careful of pressure. We need to be careful of thinning of skin what might feel easy for us. Maybe it’s just a little too much for them. It may be Could I hold your hand? Or does this feel all right? Or does this feel all right? Yes, yes. Yes touches something there’s something in psychology called touch hunger. And there was there was this woman who’s now gone. Who was on hospice off hospice and back on hospice. So I and we saying to her probably for most of the year when when I would come of course see I’m like this even that’s another thing please folks don’t bring your your gloomy expression.
You know, life.
Yes, life. slipping away. But Gosh, life is such a joy to be here. And, and, and the miracle of life. But so I go in like this all the time. This is who I am, I am joy when I go, and this woman would grab the front of my shirt and pull me down and give me a hug or give me a kiss, you know? And, and she’d say, I always feel so much better when you’re here. I almost feel so much better when you’re here. And I would suggest that’s probably true. Likely true. always true. of anybody you visit. Yeah. Because you were there. You made the time in your schedule to be there. They don’t have an option. No, they don’t have an option. There. They’re just they are where they are right now they are where they are you have the choice? May I encourage you to make the choice to be there?
What kind of final message? Would you like to get the listeners? Wow, we’ve had so many good tips and tricks.
This is what several people said to me. When I was interviewing, they said, think of the other person, not yourself. It isn’t, oh, I’m too busy. Or I don’t know what to do. Or I don’t know what to say that’s all about you. Right? Put the focus on the other person. What can I do to help the other What can I do? What can I do to journey with them on this path, that’s going to take them over the rainbow. And as you said before, it may be coming and sitting in a quiet even if someone is still I’m still alert. And when someone isn’t any longer, they can feel you just like you can feel someone in the room. They can feel your presence. Talk to them. Hi, Joe. This is Linda. I just came I just came to be with you in less time and sit in the silence.
Yes, it’s great energy. Well, thank you that was a beautiful ending, wasn’t it? You know, it’s it’s such a sad thing. And I think that’s what scares everybody. It’s it’s sadness and fear. And I think you just have to, you know, throw that stuff to the side and go in for the purpose of being there for the person. And yeah, it’s beautiful. Very, very lovely. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you. It’s a precious time. Yes, they go. They’ll understand just how precious it is.
Absolutely. Well, life is precious. And we learned that in many ways. Just this past week. My goodness, so many people with COVID and so many issues still with the second or the other virus that’s variant or, or, or the condo that collapsed or I mean, the list the list, we could go on and on and on. Right. So I hope you know I thank you so very much Linda for your courage and bravery to bring you to doing this lovely work that you do. It’s it’s absolutely wonderful and I hope our listeners can appreciate it as much as I have it’s it’s actually my joy to be there at bedside
Yes, it’s beautiful.
Thank you blessing it’s a blessing to me. Yeah, a blessing to the person in the bed. It’s also a blessing to me.
And and it should be a blessing to all those that choose to be there as well. And it’s right that’s correct. Yeah. Well, thank you, thank you so very very much Linda for your time and, and your tips and tricks for this show today. Wow. It’s full of it and it’s made my heart just want to come out it’s it’s beautiful. Thank you so every all our listeners, please take a moment and subscribe to our channel and click on that bell that’s down here somewhere.
And, you know, click the bell, I always sing our quick little song. With the with the bell rang my bell ring my bell down there, somewhere the subscribe button is. No one is Superman. So expect the unexpected, because that’s really what this pandemic did to all of us. We had to expect the unexpected, truly, truly We sure did. And everyone if you’re thinking of someone special right now, in your mind, please pick up the phone or FaceTime them or zoom them or Skype them or whatever it is. And tell them how much you love and care about them today because you don’t know what tomorrow may bring. And stay tuned for our next podcast and live streams on our YouTube channel and more great, great conversations just like Linda.
Thank you, Linda, for your beautiful work that you do. And sharing your time with all of us and our listeners that your backup plan tribe. Thank you. Thank you very much, Tina, outfitter saying. So stay tuned for our next podcast. I hope that we’ve inspired you and didn’t make you too sad and motivated you to start thinking about your unique plan. our one year anniversary is shows that our listeners are essential to our show. So thank you very, very much. Thank you for sharing your time with us and watching. I love each and every one of you and I always end with Carol Burnett because I know Linda knows who Carol Burnett was. She is such a fantastic lady. Maybe one day maybe from our YouTube channel here we can get to meet her I would. I would love to do that. So thank you Carol Burnett, free for your for your work in the world. That’s for sure. I’m so glad we had this time together just to have a laugh or sing a song. Seems we just get started. And before you know it comes a time we have to say so long. So long everyone. It was nice to have you stay safe. Stay safe, be kind
LINDA BRYCE
Linda’s mission is to pass on her understandings and show you how to be there at the bedside, fully present with anyone who is dying, and sharing in the mystery and wonder of death—and after. Her book is available – The Courage to Care: Being Fully Present with the Dying, support a new generation in awakening to living fully–even while dying–and relishing each day as a gift of joy and wonder. https://www.amazon.com/Linda-Bryce/e/… www.thecouragetocare.com
Accident, Preparedness
LIFE AFTER A CAR ACCIDENT MAKES YOU REALIZE HOW PRECIOUS LIFE IS
Life after a car accident makes you realize how precious life is and will bring you to your knees, in full of recovery, grief and depression. Don’t ever think it’s easy!
“Decisions can be like car accidents, sudden and full of consequences.” Allison Glock
So our wonderful guest is of course from Greece. I’d love to go there. But she’s actually in Thunder Bay, Ontario. What a switch from Greece to Thunder Bay. You couldn’t be any further north.
I know. I know. hates it. But it’s lovely here where I am. It’s a beautiful area. And I’m very fortunate to be here. It’s beautiful. Just beautiful. Different different. But yes, beautiful.
Our wonderful guests, Anastasia. I’m not sure if I said that. Right. When you said the other name. Yes. Yes. Canadian problem. It’s everywhere. Don’t worry. panacea is a podcaster. And of course, the beautiful artists with her photos. I don’t know how to there. There we go right there. It’s so funny. When I put my hand up in the screen. It looks like this fake arm. It’s like this magnifying huge arm that goes across the screen. She has a beautiful artist, as you can see a road safety advocator. Of course, for all of this and a pastry chef from from Greece.
Life after a car accident makes you realize how precious life is to make that impact, that euphony moment, changes your life forever
Wow. I can’t wait to hear hear your story. our listeners are going to be blown away from the story. And I really want you to listen with both your ears today. Because it’s quite an incredible story of how she has been able to take something so negative into something so positive and, and the courage and the bravery that you have taken to come on these shows is unbelievable. And I have to give you credit, where credit is due. It’s It’s really beautiful, how you’re trying to help other people. So thank you very, very much. And yeah, where did it all start for you?
Thank you, first of all for having me over. And when you say about strength, I think the message that I want to bring out through sharing my experience is what gives me the drive to you know, be strong and share what actually happened on that day. So what happened and we’ll drive right in instead of diving. It was a summer it was a beautiful, beautiful summer day in Greece. And for those people that have been to Greece, they know how hot and warm and beautiful it is during summer so it was called goose Agus five.
And I was working. I was running two businesses when I was one business with juice two shops when I was 23 years old. At the time, and I went to work, and that Sunday morning, I did some cake decoration, the decorating that I had to do for weddings and I finished everything because I was so excited. I wanted to go to the beach was so warm, so hot. And me and my husband, I was married at the time, we had the we made plans with another couple very close friend, friends of ours to go to the beach.
So we made all those plans on Wednesday, actually, they were at my place at Wednesday hadn’t dinner, and then we said, Oh yeah, why not spend Sunday at the beach, it’s gonna be warm. We can take some time off. We deserve. We’re working all day. So that’s what we planned to go to the beach, relax, have fun, enjoy yourselves and then return home. I was 23 years old at the time, my husband was 26 and the couple my friends. So theory NFV. They were 26 and 29. And they also had two children, young, very young children at the time. So Sunday came as I said, I went to work I did all my work. I was happy excited. When to my place. God changed my swimming stuff on and everything ready.
So there we were four people, four young people, two couples. Yeah. We got in the car. He was three door vehicle. I don’t know how you call them here in Canada. That’s how we call them in Greece anyway. So there were no there were no doors in the in the for the passengers. The back. My husband was driving. I was sitting beside him as a co driver and the passenger’s seats were my friends behind me was my friend. So theory and next to him his wife, fa he was around noon, we started about 1130 I think so we headed to to the beach. And it’s a lovely place. It’s called halkidiki. And it’s very popular. During summer, everyone from my hometown, and my hometown is the Salonika and it’s over a million people. And everyone is going to help give a kid during the weekend. So you can imagine how how busy the roads were very heavy traffic. So at some point, my husband decided to change his road and go through a country road, which was more narrow, and he was full of turns, you know.
And that’s what we did. But he was speeding. And he wasn’t beautiful day, like we were so happy. we’re chatting the car and I can remember every single moment and we’re just so excited. And the thing is that they were supposed to have their children with them that day. So that was that was our original plan. They will drive with their car with children, and we will drive our car. And we’re both go to the same destination of cash. And then they decided no, let’s let’s have one totally free day of children of work just to enjoy ourselves. And then they decided not to take the children. And that’s that’s how the decision came. So we can we drove all four of us one vehicle. So as we’re driving in that country road, and he was speeding my husband, he was speeding through the time. And you know about age 23 years old. You don’t you don’t see what’s coming?
Well, you don’t have the same fear. Right? Don’t you? Don’t you find that? Yes. Yeah, like, a lot more. I don’t know if you gain the wisdom or what it is. But you have more fear and you’re not so risky. That you will you actually are risky without knowing that you’re taking this. Right. Yeah, yeah, realize, and that’s how I feel today, going back to that day. I’m thinking that I, I could see that he was speeding, why wasn’t my saints saying something before?
What because I, I couldn’t foresee the future with you know, with his driving habits if I can say that. So I remember that he was speeding, and I did get scared at some point. And I knew that my friend Effie, she was scared of speeding and I asked him to slow down. I did ask him wants to slow down. And he did for a while but he didn’t really like just hitting the brakes. When I told him it’s not enough. You need to actually stop, slow down completely. And just, if you have to stop your car, just stop your car and give yourself some, you know, a few minutes to get out of that situation that you are. You know, you just take that route of speeding and you don’t stop. It’s like, I don’t know. I don’t know how to explain it, really. But I asked when you’re in the moment, it’s it’s, you know, of course you do it differently now, right. If what when you know, but the lessons? Yeah.
So as we’re going as we’re driving, I asked him to slow down he did for a while, but then he picked up the same speed started overtaking every vehicle that was in front of him. Just wanted to reach this destination faster. I don’t know. And I remember. I remember we’re laughing. Because all four of us we were basically not thinking. Yeah, so you’re just having fun. Yeah, yeah. So remember, at some point, I turn around I was laughing with my with Effie was were chatting and laughing. And as I was looking at her, I felt I felt the tension I felt the car because he hit the brakes. But you know, you can you can sense that something is not right. And I did. And what proved it even more was a face to face, because she could see what was coming. I had my head turned. By the time I turned my head. I saw that we were there was another vehicle coming to our direction. And then he turned his wheel, the steering wheel and because he was speeding so much, and he panicked and didn’t know how to react. He lost control of the car, and we ended up falling into a ditch. That was about six, seven meters high. And the car flipped. He did some turns, did you go down the passenger side or the driver’s side out of the passenger? The passenger side.
So we didn’t, we didn’t crash with any other vehicle. He turned the wheel to avoid the car because he was in the middle of overtaking another vehicle. So he was halfway overtaking another vehicle. And then he saw another car coming from the opposite side because there was turns so he didn’t have he was speeding. He wasn’t supposed to overtake the car because it wasn’t. There were rules that you were not supposed to overtake in a vehicle at that particular section. Exactly. And the visibility was not good at all. So he did three things that he shouldn’t do that day. And that moment. On that day he did more. But on that moment there are these two things that he shouldn’t speeding and overtaking that vehicle because the visibility was not good. We saw the other car coming. He turned the steering wheel we fell into the beach.
And I remember having the you know the seatbelt because I was wearing my seatbelt. Literally crashing on my on my chest. I could feel the tension on my chest. I didn’t realize that the car flipped because everything happened so fast. I didn’t even know that the car flipped. But were you upside down at the time? No, you landed we landed right? up right? Yes. But the doors we couldn’t open the doors because they were jammed from the car flipping. And with the moment the car hit the ground. It caught fire. And it was a warm day as I said the windows were closed because we had the air conditioner on and once the car hit ground, it caught fire in the gap cabin of the vehicle. He wasn’t around the vehicle. He was in the cabin of the vehicle the doors running open everywhere. It’s like he was surrounding us. I can I can. I can feel I can still remember the feelings that I had.
Everything went silent and he wasn’t because I couldn’t hear anything. But you know when the fire is, you know that sound that the fire has and he was sucking up the air. So it was like it was like I was diving deep into the cedar. Yeah. I wish I was but it wasn’t, you know, no one was and so there were four, four young people burning alive in that vehicle because they’re trapped and I tried to open my door my door wouldn’t open And we were lucky. If you can call that luck. I guess we were the drivers that were opened. Finally. I don’t know how much time it took probably a few minutes not even mean it seemed like forever. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Because you can feel the heat. You can. It was just, I was just panicking. I was screaming, screaming, I remember that. And I couldn’t even hear my voice. You know, I couldn’t even hear my voice from, from what I was experiencing that moment was on my house, screaming Do you remember? I couldn’t hear anything. Now. I couldn’t hear anything. And I don’t know if it was the flames and the sound of the flames or if it was my panic, or I don’t know.
But I remember. I remember screaming. I remember screaming. And I just couldn’t hear anything. So the driver got out of the car. And then my friend Effie that was sitting behind him, she got out after him. And then I crawled over to his side. And I got out too. But as I was crawling, I tried to reach my friend that was behind me. Her husband, her husband. Yeah, he wasn’t moving. So I got out of the car. And that’s that was it. He never made it out. Realizing that, even to this day, it’s Yes, yes. And because you want to try and get them out. But did anyone else stop? Did anyone see anything to help or anything?
Well, vehicles that were on the same, you know, on the same road with us, they did stop and where we fell where we actually crashed. There was a restaurant type of restaurant there with a pool and it was busy people were there. So they people run to our direction very, very quick. And I remember then, when I got out of the car, I was still inflamed. So I rolled on the grass and was like, I didn’t even know that I had to do that. I was just respond reaction response. Yeah, yeah. So I rolled on the grass. And then someone came and picked me up. I remember I was picked up. And they took me away from the car from fear of having the vehicle explore. Yeah. Which doesn’t happen. It’s not like the movies. It doesn’t happen. Like the movies. Yeah, it doesn’t happen. Like the movies. And I say that to schools when I go and deliver a speech because to raise Road Safety Awareness. You see in the movies, the vehicles are blowing into 1000 pieces, and then the driver will just get out of the car and walk. Yeah. It doesn’t happen this way. What it does, it blows your life into 1000 pieces that it does.
So your your husband at the moment at the time he got out. But was he on the ground as well? Do you remember?
No, he was he was running around the vehicle. And even when I was still in the vehicle, he was outside trying to get my daughter to open that I have that memory. And it was at that moment that he was trying to get my daughter to open he was outside from my side tried to get my daughter to open. And I was taking off my seatbelt. I was kicking the door and I couldn’t open it. It was then that Effie got out after him. And then I just figured out like it was a response. I just crawled over and tried to get out and myself.
And how was she? Was she just laying on the ground? Or did she crawl out and I didn’t see her first moments out of the vehicle when they picked me up to take me away the people that picked me up. They placed me just a few feet away from her. So she was already taken by people I guess. And you know, they were trying to get us away from the car. It was a horrific moment, because I remember we’re both sitting on the ground. My husband was running around the car trying to get to my friend that was still in there. People were trying to keep him away. It’s a it’s graphic. And I think but I think like I’m explaining them every detail. But I think it’s very important for people to listen. The first one is because they hear there’s a crash and people are injured, and they see them with their injuries and it’s very heartbreaking Of course, but those first moments when reality hits, that’s the worst moments.
That’s the worst moments and I think if people listen to those first moments may Maybe they can put themselves in our position and understand how severe it can be a car accident. Yeah. So he was running around. We’re both sitting. Me and my friend were sitting about 10 meters away from the car and I was a few feet away from her and I turned around and I, I looked at her. And I still remember how she looked. She was gray, no color. It was like white, gray. You know, when you get burnt? That’s how you look. I didn’t know that the moment. Yeah. And she was looking directly at the car. She knew her husband was in there. totally shocked. And she was she was like, white paper, white piece of paper with no words on just blank, blank stare. And I asked I told her, will you ever forgive him? That was the words that I said her? Will you ever forgive him? And of course, there was no response. She wouldn’t. She was totally shocked. And yeah, it was a very difficult, but horrific not difficult. It just, I don’t wish anyone to go through what, what she went through what she went through, and then what we went through as well.
Yes, yes. Because it’s not necessarily your husband sitting in that car. But it was hers. But it’s also your friend. So
the pain is that you can’t even describe with words the pain that we that I felt, then. And I can’t even describe what she felt. And it’s very sad. He passed away right away with that impact, because he had the head injuries from what we were told. From the Friday from later date. He wasn’t wearing his seatbelt. Oh, so he had his injuries were fatal from the moment we crossed. That’s why he wasn’t moving on work on train or tried to get right. And my friend Effie she passed away to a few weeks later.
Oh, a few weeks of of her burns or of other things of her burns. Oh, I’m so sorry. That’s horrible. Because you wouldn’t think the fire would be in the back that quickly with you. But it happens like you said it just swarmed you
like the the cabin of the vehicle any vehicles just small fire will surround you. There’s no way Yeah, away from it. Yeah.
That that’s quite an amazing. And you know, when I when I had mine, it wasn’t so much what I saw like you, but it was more of the smell. You know, the smell of the engine of the gas and the engine and it’s and the powder from the airbags. It it’s very eerie. It’s a very eerie feeling and sent well I don’t even remember how their backs popping. You know it did they did but I don’t remember because everything happened so fast. And then you didn’t even have one second in the vehicle not reacting because we had to go out to get out. We’re burning alive teen I was like, yeah, we just had to get out. Yeah, yeah, so smells. I remember just the sound. I remember that. I remember that. I was screaming and I couldn’t hear my voice voice that’s what it’s very to me to these days. How How is it possible not to listen to my voice?
Yeah. Yeah, that’s amazing. Did you get all your burns when you rolled on the ground? Did that all get under fire while
I was out the fire was out when? Yes, but the the injuries were so so so severe. I ended up with 74% burns all over my body hands face, arms, legs, feet. Everything was burned. And your husband my hair? Yeah, like I guess they were burned as well like the next time the the the yeah after my injuries. The next time I saw myself in the mirror. I didn’t have any hair. So but they shaved my head to get the The skin of my head to use it in other parts of my body. Oh, yeah, for skin grafts. So what they do is you get burned and they need skin grafts to cover the, the picture of the body that was injured. To get that skin. They try to get the skin, the healthy skin that’s left on your body. And well, my head wasn’t burned. That’s why they use the they used my head the skin of my head twice from my back once from for my tummy three times my thigh I don’t remember even how many times overtime I think any any part of my body that wasn’t burned, they were taking they’re scraping the skin off. So they can use it on the on the parts that were injured.
That’s really amazing work that they can do for that, isn’t it?
It is it is like medicine. It’s some It’s amazing. Amazing just amazing how they can save lives but they can save every life and they can save my friend’s life. She She was so severely injured on her chest because of the clothes that she was wearing. And the thing with burn sees people might not know it’s not actually the the burns that will put in danger. Put your life in danger. It’s getting infected, first of all the infections. And what the infections do is they make your body overwork. And eventually the organs they can handle. Fight extreme fighting to stay to keep you alive. And that’s how you end up losing your life.
Did she have her seatbelt on them? Is that why she got I was able to get out? Do you know?
I think she had Yeah, she had her seatbelt on? Yes. So that’s why only my friend that was sitting behind me didn’t have his seatbelt law syndrome. Yeah.
So that’s something to tell people?
Absolutely. Absolutely. Always, always wear your seatbelt always. You never know you just never know what can happen in one split second. And that’s, that’s all it takes. That’s all it takes them. You’re the title of your book. Actually, it’s an expression that I use often to, in a blink of an eye. That’s all it takes.
Yeah, it literally looks like when you look behind and then look forward. It’s a blink like the blink of your eye. It just changed. So what about your your husband, who is your now ex husband, but he was injured as well, but not as severe as myself and Effie, he had the burns. But if we if we mentioned numbers that might help our listeners understand I had 74% of burns, f we had 68% and my husband had 44. But out of this 44% 22 was third degree and 22 was second and first degree which is like my face from from my left side it says second, second burns second degree burns and there’s not much scarring there. But my right side third degree and you can see the scars more. So it’s different.
Was that the part where it was more from the car side?
Yeah, because the flames were around us basically in the center of the vehicle. There were no flames. It was all around us. Yeah. That’s quite amazing, isn’t it? How if you could reenact something how something actually happens? You know when you can’t see it.
Exactly. And we have to be what what I’m trying to get out there with my own podcast is that these accidents are preventable. If we drive safe if we try to be safe, we can prevent all these accidents. Or this accident sometimes sometimes Of course we can prevent everything because we are not responsible and we don’t know what the other person is doing. But the main point is that we are all safe drivers to reduce the accidents. But even when we are taking the right precautions and we are more aware we can protect ourselves more.
Well you can do right for for yourself and and hopefully eliminate limit a few of those accidents. Anyways, like you said and and be a better safe driver.
Yes because we are responsible for ourselves. We are responsible for everyone that moves around us as well. Yes, we don’t keep in mind. Yeah, we don’t we don’t we shoot.
Well, will you share them? I, I always thought to you know, you see it a lot with people in the left hand turn lanes, and they turn in front of a car coming straight down. And I don’t understand that because the person coming straight down sees that in the intersection. Usually, I mean, sometimes you wouldn’t. But I just don’t understand why people take chances. And everyone, Senator rush.
Because we think that he won’t happen to us. Yeah. We just think that it’s not going to happen to us. Simple as that.
I say that all the time. You know, everybody, you know, are you Superman? No, but we think we are.
Yeah, and I say that we think that it’s not going to happen to us. And I’m guilty of that, because I thought the same. That’s what I thought, yeah, never crossed my mind that something this horrific can happen to me in one split second with one wrong move. I guess. I never thought.
And especially with your friends around as well, you just realize how precious life truly is. So after you know, their kids are at home, obviously with what happens next after that, I’m sorry to have to bring that part up.
Um, so we were taken to were taken to emergency burns unit in my hometown. And from then on the difficult road to recovery started for me to recover, I recovered, as he tried to recover. Unfortunately, she couldn’t make it. And the doctors did whatever they could, but her and her injuries were so severe.
And were you able to talk to her in the hospital at all intensive care like he was. We’re all in intensive care.
I my I was in the hospital for three months after my accident, having surgeries after surgeries. And on the eighth day, I made a stayed in my hometown for eight days in the ICU. And then my mother, she found out that they had The Undertaker’s on hope for myself and for Effie. And once you realize that, because one of them that was informed, to be close by in case a family needed to the families needed something happened to be my cousin. So they met in the hospital. And when they were discussing why wanting here why they were, you know, at the hospital, and they realized that he was there for me, because they were waiting for me to pass away, to not make it then she just said, Okay, I have to do something. And on her own responsibility. She She made all the arrangements. And then I was moved in UK in the UK for my therapy. So that basically saved my life because they had the knowledge and they had the the tools and all the equipment that they needed. And Greek doctors, they’re good, they have the knowledge but they don’t have the right equipment. And that was a new word. That was a new word that we were taken into. It was like open only for 10 days. So we’re very, very severe injuries that they couldn’t handle. So I was airlifted and taken to the UK and that’s where I had my my therapy and my whole recovery and surgeries and I was named induced coma for some days and I didn’t I couldn’t speak to anyone. I had to try Qian there was no communication. I was just trying to survive. Yeah, it took seven weeks, seven weeks to have the doctor say to my mom that she’s going to make it seven. Wow.
And you’re just basically praying every week to every day, every hour every day. Well. Yeah. Yeah, that’s amazing. Have to give your mom credit for staying beside your Yes, she’s a superhero, Superman. Yeah.
And my dad, both of them, my whole family, they they were so supportive and they were you know, just knowing that they were there waiting for me and they gave me the strength that I needed the resources. It was a tough decision for my mom and dad to take that day to on their, you know, the doctors. They didn’t give the green light to my mom to take me away. They told her if you take her away it’s a it’s a Whatever happened to you. It’s on you. But she knew when she met my cousin that was the undertaker that was there waiting. She knew that she had to take
it’s that choice or or take a risk? Yeah, yeah. This shows tough decisions. So your friend Alfie stayed there. And that’s where she stayed in the Greek hospital. She stayed there, she was more severely injured. Although the numbers are different of the injuries. She had more burns on her torso. So her organs were more affected. And that’s maybe this is a good opportunity to say how important clothes are because I was wearing coat on a coat and dress. And she was wearing synthetic clothes. And that makes a difference that made that made a lot of difference when it comes to heating.
Yes, and I understand and a house fires and things like that. It’s important what kind of pajamas you have on or, or the sheets on your bed and how all of that burns. less or more depending on what you’re around. Very interesting.
Everything matters. Everything from clothing from every single moment. All the decisions that we make, we don’t know. But they might make a difference when the time comes. All the layers all the little decisions.
Yes, absolutely. And after that you survived and beautifully. Amazingly.
And you It took me it took a very it took me a while pain a few years to stating I stayed in the UK away from my family away from my husband, my own my business. My dad, my mom was there 24 seven next to me, she was actually my caregiver, she had to have someone next to me. I had to relearn everything from started, I had to relearn how to how to hold the fork and the spoon to eat, how to walk. I was in a wheelchair for four months before I was able to stand up doctors were saying that they were going to amputate my hand, my right hand, they were going to amputate my right foot. They were going to amputate my nose. There was an amazing team behind my recovery that they are. They are responsible for my recovery. Actually, I want to thank them it’s a Broomfield Hospital in the St. Andrew’s Hospital in Broomfield in the UK. And I just want to take this moment to big thank you to all the medical staff that were by my side and gave me this second chance in life.
But it’s really amazing when you get a wonderful team like that.
Yes. And I have to say also that I had the one of my guests on my podcast was one of the nurses that looked after me the ICU 20 years old. Yeah. Oh, wow. It was amazing to have her there on my on my podcast. It was amazing.
Oh, wow. I’ll have to listen to that one. I will have your podcast links down below. So no worries there people for forever. All of our listeners know, don’t worry, she we will make sure your podcast is there to listen to other stories. Yeah, and then you went back home to Greece eventually
went eventually, two years later, I went when I returned home. And it was as I said a long, long long process their recovery and I was still having surgeries to this day, I still need the surgeries. But last year I had one booked for March but because of the pandemic, we cancelled it but I still need to do another surgery. And so big surgery actually will take me about two months to recover from that. And then after the two months, I’ll probably need another six months of precise things that I need to follow every day to fully recover. So it’s a it’s a process of two years and then I was going back and forth to the UK having more operations and they’re trying to repair my hands because they’re very injured and I don’t have full movement anymore. I can still use Use them like I did a lot of work on my own to recover as best as I could. So I can win back my life knowing I had to leave. Life is precious. And we have to enjoy it as much as we can. The way more Yes, yes, I am unfortunate I consider myself although I went through this very fortunate because I can see, I can see how it could end up like my friends. And to this day, I still I see it. It’s very difficult to accept what happened to them.
Yes, absolutely. It’s like a mother, you know, you don’t care so much about what happened to yourself. It’s what happened to your kids, or your friends, for that matter. So it’s the same kind of feeling. So what happened with them? You know, what happened? Do you still have any relationship with the kids?
Unfortunately, no, it’s, you know, when you when you lose someone, and it’s unfair, it’s unfair. So obviously, the family doesn’t want to have anything to do with us, our course. And I can totally understand that. So we went through a very difficult five years, five years, maybe six years period with court cases, and because he was responsible, my husband, and like all the court cases, it takes forever to end. Yeah. So I think it was about six or seven years after the accident that finally the cold cases came to an end. And my husband had to go to jail because of this accident. And it’s another story. It doesn’t, it doesn’t end he doesn’t end and having going through a cold case for an accident that you didn’t, you didn’t cause it on purpose. Although you were responsible people, they don’t go to jail, at least not in Greece. They don’t go to jail. But in our case, he didn’t show any remorse.
So he continued to overspeed all those driving, and they were proof about that. So that’s why he ended up in jail. And I don’t know if he’s still our marriage just collapsed. And it wasn’t because of the accident itself. But what the accident brought in our life later, yes, that caused our marriage to collapse. And I’m very well with that. At the beginning, it was very difficult because of all my insecurity and all my all these different feelings that I had. And I didn’t know I lost my identity. I didn’t know where I was going. Yeah, life just wasn’t the same. It had nothing. It was nothing like I used to know it before the accident. No, absolutely. The people around you well as yourself.
We made we we went through I went through an emotional roller coaster. Yeah, trying to comprehend how, how to how this happened and how I can continue living. He was he was very difficult, very difficult in so many levels, emotionally, physically, mentally. I felt, I’m still feeling kind of responsible for what happened because he was my my husband that was driving was our vehicle. And I didn’t say anything. And so it’s very, very difficult to to accept everything that happened. So we don’t have any I don’t have any contact with a family. I wish I could. But the children are now grownups and I hope they’re well, as much as they can be after leaving without their parents. They were left orphans and they were only four and eight years old. Two boys so horrific, just horrific. And I don’t want anyone anyone to go through what they went through. Yes, they shouldn’t. Because these, these accidents can be prevented. So they shouldn’t go through what they went through.
Yes, absolutely. Did. What did you find afterwards then when you started your rehabilitation, look at you now. You know, you’re out talking about it. You’re you’re living your best life. I think you know, you’re remarried.
Am I remarried? Yes. Now in Canada? Well, I tried. I tried to go back to work after my, my, I recovered, kind of from the injuries but going back and forth to the hospital, having operation after a surgery after surgery and going through the process of recovering again from the new surgery that took another three, four months to recover.
It wasn’t easy to get back to work. Yeah. And then I was diagnosed with cancer as well. Oh, my goodness. Yeah. It’s like a domino effect, right? If something goes wrong, everything goes wrong. So I was diagnosed with cancer about four years after my accident, four years and a few months after my accident, and I had to have four surgeries in less than a year for that. I am good. I’m healthy. I’m very fortunate again. Cuz I had no symptoms. We I was just lucky that I found out that I had a tumor. I wait. I’m good. But that was like a wake up call for me. And it was when I was going through that process that I decided I can’t be with that man anymore, because I saw more bells ringing that what have you Yeah. Just I talked, I talked about that yesterday’s and yesterday’s live show, about how you have these different people on your shoulder. And sometimes this one will say, yeah, Tina, it’s all fine. You can do it. And this one says, Don’t Don’t try. Don’t do it. Don’t do it.
I don’t know about little people. But my inner voice was saying meal. You can you can make it on your own. You need to be where you are now you and then just one day, I just flip the switch. And I said no Enough is enough. That’s it. That’s it. And I found happiness again. Just it was magical. burden lifted off my shoulders when I when I made that decision. And I didn’t even know that, that I would feel that way.
And then he kept on hitting you with more and more and saying, Are you going to wake up yet? Are you going to wake up?
I finally did. It took me a while. And again, I lost a lot of things. But I did.
Yes. I don’t know where we have to lose things to get its lessons. It’s what happens. It’s life. Actually, this is life. And the main thing is to learn from our lessons and our mistakes from the mistakes that I’ve made. We made so we don’t repeat them. Yes, that’s what I want with the podcast, my podcast to share my message. So people learn from my mistakes from other people mistakes that they made, because we’re showing a lot of real stories. Yes. And maybe maybe motivate them to not make our story their story. So this these mistakes are not repeated.
Yeah, cuz you wouldn’t want to have to do that one over again with you. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Now even I don’t wish even on my worst enemy and I don’t have any new enemies anyway. But yeah, no one should experience what my family what my friends families experienced. And then what I experience. Yes, no one no one. No strength of your mom. Yeah. Yeah, she’s the real hero on this, isn’t she? She’s She’s a survivor, as well. Looking. like watching your child in the situation that I was. I don’t know how she did it. Thank you. Yes. Thank you. I love you. Yes. Imagine how hard that would be. Yeah. I can only imagine. I don’t want to feel it anyway. Ever, ever?
Yes, absolutely. Nobody does. That’s for sure. So you have your podcast and now you’re doing some art with your kind of weird. Well, the thing is that when we were still in the hospital for my recovery, the doctors were saying to my mom, you have to make her use her hands because I was through I was going through denial process. I didn’t want to do anything at some point. And she they kept on saying she needs to use her hands. She needs to use her hand. So my mom she’s an artist herself. amazing artist who makes lovely paintings. She took me one day and she see got me to a hobby shop. I’m trying to find something, something that would keep me occupied.
Just to remind us Life after a car accident makes you realize how precious life is to make that impact, that euphony moment, changes your life forever
So I can fix stuff with my hands and use them. And we I ended up with canvases and paint brushes and colors acrylics and stuff. And that’s how I started painting. And what I found was that it wasn’t only helping me physically because I was using my hands, but it did help me mentally and emotionally because it was soothing me. Although it was painful, it was hurting, using my hands. It did help me with my emotions, with your inner your inner soul. It kind of like a it took everything out of my mind. And I could leave the moment without thinking and thinking and, you know, it seemed It was a lot a lot to take in what I was dealing with. Yeah, that moment. So it reached out. He was my therapy. It was my therapy after my physiotherapy at the hospital. So that’s why I continued, I just love love creating. And what really helped me most was you know, I couldn’t use my hands.
So I felt worthless. If I felt like my life ended. What can I do? I can’t even get dressed on my own. I can’t even feed myself, I can’t even do my the basics. I needed help for everything. And then with the struggle, but I did from nothing, I created something. And that gave me the strength to continue day by day, day by day. And that’s how I want back my life. Because art did help me to beautiful to accept that it happened but you can still you can still create stuff. So move on and create beautiful things. What do you like to specialize drawing? Trees, I love trees. I love trees. And I have also collection though it’s my story through art that I have painted the few pieces that they represent my story size. Interesting. Nice. Oh, people can go on my web page and check it out.
Absolutely. That’s beautiful. And trees. Uh, do you like flowers too? Do you like doing flowers? Or are there anything?
Oh, I love I love doing landscape. I yeah, I love I love everything. I do portraits. I do animals. I do. landscapes, trees. Anything, anything that inspires me, you could be a rock, anything that I can find that it’s something that gives me the drive to pick up my pencils or my brushes that inspires me. Yes, banana trees is a very close to my heart. But I do all sort of soften. People can see different stuff on my web page.
Oh, cool. I think some of those wonderful Greek architecture that they have there would be awesome, too.
Yep. Yep. That would be fine. Yes, Greece, it’s he has some pretty pretty nice designs that you can use for art. And colors. Lots of blue and white. Like our flag. Yeah. it’ll fall. It’s very beautiful. What would you like to? It’s quite the story, everybody. I just feel like I just fall right into the story. Like, like you’re reading it. It’s very beautiful. Well, the story’s beautiful. But your your life was not so beautiful for a while, but it is now and you have a new husband. Yeah. And I’m so happy for you.
Yes, he’s also a burn survivor. And he’s workplace safety speaker. So he he also got his burns from an accident that happened in his while he was working. So he’s trying to raise awareness on that, like, we need to be cautious. We need to be aware of the dangerous we need to put our safety and the safety of others first. Yes. So avoid all these accidents that can be prevented because most of the accidents can be prevented. So that’s the main thing. That’s what I want the listeners to take away from our conversation. Those accidents that we can plan so don’t happen and take all the safety measures that we need. Don’t speed. Don’t text while you’re drive. Don’t drink when you’re going to drive. Just be aware of what you have to do. Drive to get from A to B safe not from life to The Yes, is not the truth, because you can help others people around you, but you can help yourself.
Yes, definitely. I just seen that. If we are taking the consideration our safety, we will be, we will, you know, be aware of the safety of all the other people that are moving around us, whether it’s on the road, whether it’s in the workplace, just safety has to be our main focus. Right?
Did you have any final messages that you’d like to give the listeners, I just want them to enjoy life, enjoy life, predict, predict what the future can match as much as they can for those of those little things that we can predict. and be prepared. Be prepared to, for all the unexpected things that might happen, and just try to be safe. Things can happen in one split second, if they can remember that, I think, yeah, we can also predict and be prepared, especially when you’re younger. And I guess even when you’re older, that doesn’t seem to matter. Sometimes everyone’s just in a hurry, and in a rush. And that’s so true, do weird things. And it’s like when you come home and you put your keys in a different place that you don’t normally put them, you lose them. And it’s all of these little things that remind you maybe if something isn’t working out, maybe you shouldn’t be going or maybe you know, strange things are kind of telling us all the time.
And yeah, that is true what you say. Just I think it’s difficult for the young young people to plan and be aware. But I also believe that listening to real stories from people, and maybe maybe just plan the idea that, okay, I am not, I am not Superman, as you said before, and there has to be more cautious when I’m doing some stuff because we hear all day, every day. Because I follow road safety, of course, and I’m a member of many groups. Every day I hear about accidents. And the sad thing is that people from their early 20s are the most people affected by destructive driving and speeding and you know, all that stuff that we do when we never thought that it would anything would happen.
Yeah, the risk. Yeah, no, the risk is well, that’s. Yeah, that’s awesome. Well, thank you so much. I don’t want to end it. I don’t want to end our show. Because your your story is, it’s just so heartfelt that it is truly a raw conversation today. Because thank you for being courageous and brave and coming out and telling others it’s it’s truly beautiful and very healing for people.
I just hope that people that are listening, learn something and that that will keep them safe in the future.
Yes, absolutely. Well, thank you. Thank you for coming on the show today. It’s that time again, guys. I can’t believe that. Where’s the time gone? Wow, um, expect the unexpected. Because you never know what tomorrow my brain I hope that we’ve inspired you and motivated you and, and giving you some thought words of wisdom from our guest. I she has so many stories to tell. You’re gonna have to write a book. It’s eating. It’s one of my plants. I’m working on it.
Yeah, absolutely. It’s beautiful. So thank you. Thank you so very much. You know, I I coach each and every one all the time and the risk of emergency preparedness. And because we don’t get out of this life alive, everybody. We don’t and it’s how we manage those storms that hit us. It’s It’s how we manage those and how we can move on to the next storm. Because sometimes we have one storm sometimes we have many. And it’s how we look after that and deal with the stresses and try to eliminate the unpreparedness because believe me, it sure helps when you’re a better person. Paired for things to occur. So thank you for coming out to our show today. It was beautiful. And thank you for your honesty and, and your storytelling. Thank you for having me and giving me this opportunity to share my story.
Absolutely. And I’ll have all I’ll make sure all her links are down below for our listeners. And thank you from Thunder Bay, Ontario. What changed from Greece? I can’t I still can’t fathom what that must feel like going from one hot to cold area. But yeah, I hear it is beautiful area. It’s very. I feel like the forest and the green and what you do is beautiful. It is beautiful. And it’s not that hard. And it is warm. Well, we did have 30 Celsius last week.
Yes, it gets hot and humid in the summertime. Yes. And so thank you, listeners. Thank you for all coming out to our show today. Thank you for watching. And I always end our podcast and our show with Carol Burnett. Because she’s such a beautiful comedian. I’m so glad that we had this time together just to have a laugh or sing a song seems we just get started. And before you know it comes a time we have to say so long. So long, everyone stay safe, be kind. And if you are listening to the show right now, and you have someone in your mind that you could reach out to today and tell them how much you love them and how much you care. Please do that. Because you don’t know what tomorrow may bring. So thank you for everyone. Lots of love.
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