Dating after a loss is difficult to say the least. To be positive and upbeat with the new person, or just not sure how much to open up with a new love in your life. How do you start the process of staying positive, mysterious and at the same time open up to your past??
“Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you.” Joey Adams
This journey of this path to love is our interview with Jonathan Aslay, America’s leading Mid-Life Dating and Relationship Coach. His tips and tricks to understanding the sacredness of your sorrow, to expressing yourself in a manner that will be positive and uplifting to a new relationship.
His first secret tip, is to have and practice Self Love.
“The very process of dating reveals the most common emotional health issue faced by many singles seeking a partner: a distressing lack of self-worth, self-regard, and self-love.” https://www.jonathonaslay.com/midlifelove/
“In fact, once I realized how widespread and vitally important this issue is, I began incorporating that focus into my individual coaching practice, then wrote an entire book on the topic—“What the Heck is Self-Love Anyway?”—a #1 Amazon best-seller packed with fun, engaging spiritual and personal growth practices.” https://www.jonathonaslay.com/midlifelove/
Self-Love the Book: http://www.selflovethebook.com
What is Self Love?
According to Wikipedia, Self-love, defined as “love of self” or “regard for one’s own happiness or advantage”, has been conceptualized both as a basic human necessity and as a moral flaw, akin to vanity and selfishness, synonymous with amour propre, conceitedness, egotism, narcissism, et al. However, throughout the centuries self-love has adopted a more positive connotation through pride parades, Self Respect Movement, self-love protests, the hippie era, the New Age feminist movement as well as the increase in mental health awareness that promotes self-love as intrinsic to self-help and support groups working to prevent substance abuse and suicide. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-love
“Before a person is able to practice it, first we need to understand what it means.” https://www.bbrfoundation.org/blog/self-love-and-what-it-means
“Self-love is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth. Self-love means having a high regard for your own well-being and happiness. Self-love means taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please others. Self-love means not settling for less than you deserve.
Self-love can mean something different for each person because we all have many different ways to take care of ourselves. Figuring out what self-love looks like for you as an individual is an important part of your mental health.” https://www.bbrfoundation.org/blog/self-love-and-what-it-means
According to BBRF Foundation:
What does self-love mean to you?
“For starters, it can mean:
- Talking to and about yourself with love
- Prioritizing yourself
- Giving yourself a break from self-judgement
- Trusting yourself
- Being true to yourself
- Being nice to yourself
- Setting healthy boundaries
- Forgiving yourself when you aren’t being true or nice to yourself
For many people, self-love is another way to say self-care. To practice self-care, we often need to go back to the basics and
- Listen to our bodies
- Take breaks from work and move/stretch.
- Put the phone down and connect to yourself or others, or do something creative.
- Eating healthily, but sometimes indulge in your favorite foods.
Self-love means accepting yourself as you are in this very moment for everything that you are. It means accepting your emotions for what they are and putting your physical, emotional and mental well-being first.
How and Why to Practice Self Love
“So now we know that self-love motivates you to make healthy choices in life. When you hold yourself in high esteem, you’re more likely to choose things that nurture your well-being and serve you well. These things may be in the form of eating healthy, exercising or having healthy relationships.
Ways to practice self-love include:
- Becoming mindful. People who have more self-love tend to know what they think, feel, and want.
- Taking actions based on need rather than want. By staying focused on what you need, you turn away from automatic behavior patterns that get you into trouble, keep you stuck in the past, and lessen self-love.
- Practicing good self-care. You will love yourself more when you take better care of your basic needs. People high in self-love nourish themselves daily through healthy activities, like sound nutrition, exercise, proper sleep, intimacy and healthy social interactions.
- Making room for healthy habits. Start truly caring for yourself by mirroring that in what you eat, how you exercise, and what you spend time doing. Do stuff, not to “get it done” or because you “have to,” but because you care about you.” https://www.bbrfoundation.org/blog/self-love-and-what-it-means
Thank you Jonathan Aslay for your wisdom, bravery and courage to discussing a very difficult topic but at the same time making it understandable for both Women and Men looking for Love.
FREE Discovery Call with Jonathon► https://jonathonaslay.com/coaching
Join My VIP Group for $7– https://jonathonaslay.com/midlifelove
How Men Choose Their SoulMate (FREE Gift) https://www.jonathonaslay.com/gift/
Self-Love the Book: http://www.selflovethebook.com
The “What Would Love Do?” Podcast https://www.jonathonaslay.com/categor…
Recommended Books https://www.jonathonaslay.com/jonatho…
Our interview this week with Kaleb Dahlgren, who has just written a spectacular best-seller, Crossroads My Story of Tragedy and Resilience as a Humboldt Broncos Bus Crash survivor Hockey player.
“There are moments in our lives when we find ourselves at a crossroads. The choices we make in those moments can define the rest of our days”, Unknown
“But when you’re standing at a crossroad, there’s a choice you’ve got to make”, Carrie Underwood
An unbelievable interview with Kaleb, who is like an “old soul” in such a younger version! Wow! Kaleb is full of insightful and inspirational messages for anyone in any walk of life! Kaleb took a tragedy and has put the outcome into helping and healing others in their similar walk of life or journey! Crossroads the Humboldt Broncos Bus Crash survivor with Kaleb Dahlgren is an inspiring story of hope and resiliency to all in any life’s journey! Get it, guys! You won’t regret it!
“On April 6, 2018, sixteen people died and thirteen others were injured after a bus taking the Humboldt Broncos junior hockey team to a playoff game collided with a transport truck in a rural intersection. The tragedy moved millions of people to leave hockey sticks by their front door to show sympathy and support for the Broncos. People from more than eighty countries pledged millions of dollars to families whose relatives had been directly involved in the accident.
Crossroads is the story of Kaleb Dahlgren, a young man who survived the bus crash and faced life after the tragedy with resiliency and positivity. In this chronicle of his time with the Broncos and the loving community of Humboldt, Saskatchewan, Dahlgren takes a hard look at his experience of unprecedented loss, but also revels in the overwhelming response and outpouring of love from across Canada and around the world. But this book also goes much deeper, revealing the adversity Dahlgren faced long before his time in Humboldt and his inspiring journey since the accident.
From a childhood spent learning to live with type 1 diabetes to his remarkable recovery from severe brain trauma that astounded medical professionals, Dahlgren documents a life of perseverance, gratitude and hope in the wake of enormous obstacles and life-altering tragedy.
The author will donate a portion of his proceeds from this book to STARS (Shock Trauma Air Rescue Service).“
Reviews from HARPER COLLINS CANADA LTD
“You might assume this book is going to engage you, enrapture you, inspire you, and motivate you because of Kaleb’s story about how he’s making his way through the Broncos tragedy and its aftermath, but you’d be wrong. It’s going to do all of those things, but because of much more than that single incident.” — HAYLEY WICKENHEISER, four-time Olympic gold medallist
“We never know the true meaning of courage until we face it head-on in life: Kaleb’s story is truly a story of courage. Crossroads is an amazing book that will take you back to your early days of hockey and sports and make you realize how important community and family really are. I know you will love this book and it will remind you how wonderful our country of Canada really is. Enjoy the read. Crossroads will change your life for the better.” — WAYNE GRETZKY
“This is a book you should read: the story of a young man who has dealt with, and lives with, more than most of us do in our lifetime. Go, Kaleb.” — BOBBY CLARKE, NHL legend
“Sixteen Broncos—their eyes dance and their smiles appear everywhere in Crossroads. With anguish and hope breaking through every line, Kaleb’s book shows it’s not the end of those lives. Deeply affecting and beautiful.” — RON MACLEAN
“There are few things more Canadian than a group of hockey-loving teenagers taking a bus to a big game on the Prairies. That’s why the Humboldt tragedy hit us all so hard. It felt like the Broncos were all our boys. And so Kaleb’s remarkable story moves us and shatters us, and ultimately gives us hope. It’s an incredible account of a young man who refuses to be defined by one horrific moment.” — JAMES DUTHIE, TSN host and bestselling author of Beauties
“Moving and inspiring, Kaleb Dahlgren’s incredible story of optimism and grit at every crossroad in his life shows us all what’s possible on our own journeys.” — MARILYN DENIS
“Kaleb Dahlgren has done a great job providing insight into what makes a team strong: as the Humboldt Broncos’ Core Covenant states, ‘Family first.’ A tribute to those lost and a gripping read.” — MITCHELL MARNER, Toronto Maple Leafs
“Kaleb has every excuse to be bitter and angry for everything he has been through, but instead he has chosen to be the complete opposite. He has inspired me to live every day to the fullest, and after reading Crossroads, I know you will feel the same way.” — KATE BEIRNESS, sportscaster
“This story truly touched my heart. When this tragic accident happened, Canada—and really the whole world—lost so much. We are all stronger when we come together, and Crossroads honours the Broncos and their legacy in such a beautiful way.” — KAITLYN BRISTOWE, TV personality, podcaster, and entrepreneur” Crossroads, www.Harpercollins.ca
Remember to like – Share – and write a review on Kaleb’s website!
purchase the book: https://www.harpercollins.ca/9781443462877/crossroads/
The Orphan Boys in 1976, the hottest summer for a generation and life was perfect for the two young brothers Philip and Roger. They lived an idyllic life on a farm in the picturesque dales of the north of England. With their days spent on the farm, playing on Tarzan swings, building dens and swimming outside, their perfect existence was plunged into darkness when tragedy struck the family. Within a ten week period, the boys lost their parents and were left orphans.
This is the story of Philip and his brother Roger, how their grandparents stepped in to bring them up and how a family and community came together to deal with the consequences that the devastation of death had left behind. Orphan Boys is not a misery memoir, it’s a story full of love, strength and hope. This book is an uplifting tale of a family’s survival and how they faced the huge challenges that life threw at them.
“Little by little, bit by bit, family by family, so much good can be done on so many levels”, Elinor Ostrum
Our interview is Phil Mew’s recollection of 1976 onward to having his parents pass away suddenly in a 10 week period to what next. Feelings as a child both him and his brother were under the age of 10 and his older brother had to get out of the house and help out too.
According to Wikipedia– what is an Orphan?
An orphan (from the Greek: ορφανός, romanized: orphanós) is a child whose parents have died, are unknown, or have permanently abandoned them. In common usage, only a child who has lost both parents due to death is called an orphan. When referring to animals, only the mother’s condition is usually relevant (i.e. if the female parent has gone, the offspring is an orphan, regardless of the father’s condition)
Kids that have once been abandoned and neglected by their own parents today have the one thing, they longed for most in this world – a family!
There are over 400,000 children in U.S. foster care going from family to family.
There are over 100,000 kids in need of a family today. By the 1950s, more children lived in foster homes than in orphanages in the United States, and by the 1960s, foster care had become a government-funded program. Since then, U.S. orphanages have gone extinct entirely. According to Wikipedia, The use of government-run orphanages has been phased out in the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and in the European Union member-states during the latter half of the 20th century but continue to operate in many other regions internationally. Despite all this natural wealth there are more orphans in Uganda than anywhere else in the world — over 2.90 million children out of the 3 — due to the AIDS epidemic, extreme poverty, and decades of civil conflict.
PARENTS, HERE IS WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENS IF YOU DIE WITHOUT A WILL
You know you need one—you just haven’t gotten around to it yet?? You think well, I have lots of time. Here’s why creating a WILL definitely needs to move to the top of everyone’s TO-DO list.
We all have TO-DO lists, so why not add this one to it. And here’s why a Will is so very important to both you and your spouse or partner as well as those left behind!
A WILL is a legal document that explains how you want your estate to be divided when you die. This can be completed by a lawyer, or attorney or notary as well as DIY if you feel so inclined. But let me tell you why you should always, look at the bigger picture of why you should have a professional in the field of FAMILY LAW in your area, draw a WILL up for you.
After having the experience of a friend’s brother in-law complete a WILL KIT and then stuff it in his night side table beside his bed, you would never fill out a WILL by hand, or with a WILL KIT. He died suddenly after a massive heart attack in his apartment and he had just completed his Will Kit a few years prior. He had written into the WILL, naming his two nephews as his beneficiaries to split everything equally. For whatever reason, he felt it was important as he was single to help out his nephews who were always helping him. But, what happened next is disturbing to say the least.
The family members, his sister, and 2 brothers showed up to his apartment and after a few hours found his WILL that he had completed next to his bed, and ripped it up! Then his sister and 2 brothers would then be his beneficiaries to his will and nothing can be said. And yes, that’s what happened to this day it is a big kept secret!
INCLUDE a guardianship clause, where also appoint a guardian for your underage children. You can also specify your preferences for your funeral arrangements. So what happens when you die without a will?
If you die without a will, your estate will be divided and distributed according to the laws of your country, state, province or territory.
For example, in British Columbia Canada, anything you own jointly with someone (such as your family home) automatically goes to the co-owner (usually your spouse/partner or business partner). For everything else, if you are married with kids and you die without a will, the first $200,000 of your estate plus one-third goes to your spouse, and the other two-thirds is divided among your children equally. If you have a different plan in mind, you need to state that in a will. Check in your area what the rules are for dying intestate.
If you don’t have a will, and your kids are under the age of majority, their money will be held in a trust, managed by a someone you have appointed such as the trust administrator, the executor or your children’s guardian—only until they reach the age of majority. You will need to also consider what do you want to have happen if the children are over the age of 18 in most countries or states, provinces. Few parents want their kids to have access to their entire inheritance at that age, and writing a will ensures that they won’t. This may cause issues if your children or child is disabled, or addicted to a substance, or is not capable of looking after themselves. In that case you will need to specify a little bit deeper. Setting up a Trust will enable you spread the amount of the estate into the trust to enable the administrator to handle the monies and obligations as stated.
Things get more complicated if you die without a will and you have a common-law spouse and/or a blended family. Common-law spouses don’t have always have estate rights – so check in your vicinity to the laws for that.
That means common-law partners (and their kids from prior relationships) are not automatically entitled to part of your estate, even if you’ve all lived together for years and/or you and your common-law partner have biological children together. Check your area for these rules! Remember, if common-law spouses want to leave any part of their estates to each other, they must do so in their own WILL.
This is may also be true if you and your partner are unmarried and don’t meet your location’s definition of “common-law,” such as described as “adult interdependent relationship.”
If you have a will, it should include a guardianship clause, which appoints someone to look after your minor children if you and your spouse/partner both die, otherwise the government will appoint an administrator to decide for you.
The hardest question to answer, when you are a Mom is, It’s the most important and the most daunting: who’s going to take care of my kids if something happens to me? Parents often struggle with choosing a Guardian. Relatives are usually the obvious and most practical choice. You can also choose a main primary Guardian but also another guardian who will help them out on weekends and get-aways if you so choose. When choosing an individual, couple or family, remember that they’ll be raising your kids, not just providing for them. Are the prospective guardians willing? Do they share your values and beliefs? Do they have the ability and means to care for your kids, in addition to their own? Have you allowed in your Life insurance policy for providing for school costs, and activities so it’s not just on your Guardian’s bank book.
In addition to appointing a guardian, your will should name an executor or in some areas called a Trustee. This person will manage your children’s care and money which is held in trust until they are the age of majority in that area.
The guardian and the executor don’t have to be the same person. Some people are great with kids but not so great with money, and vice versa, so it is definitely something to consider when arranging your PEOPLE’s roles. Also make sure they will work together and get along in these roles.
If you have questions about separation, divorce and your estate and how that plays a role in your decision making speak to a lawyer or attorney in your area.
Thanks to Phil Mews, who brought us this touching and compelling story of his memoir to our Podcast and interview. It makes us look at all of the things we have not thought about, or considered the What IF?