“The more obstacles I overcome, the stronger I become”, Gracie Alvarez David is an award-winning speaker, storyteller and author of the book, “Get Out the Door!” As a spinal injury survivor, David came back from a devastating motorcycle accident in 2004 to running up the Empire State Building, completing two triathlons. He speaks on achievement, resilience, goal-setting, overcoming obstacles and service excellence through his engaging humor and personal storytelling.
“We develop our character muscles by overcoming challenges and obstacles”, Stephen Covey
Everybody, welcome. Welcome YOUR BACKUP PLAN TRIBE to today’s wonderful, wonderful show, getting close to Christmas. And this is going to be broadcast on a podcast in January 2022.
Wow, that sounds so weird, doesn’t it? If you are new here, welcome to our show TALKING TABOO WITH TINA, brought to you by YOUR BACKUP PLAN APP. We focus on real raw conversations with real people. Yes, and our listeners about their journey from a life changing event in their life. What is YOUR BACKUP PLAN APP anyways? Well, YOUR BACKUP PLAN APP puts your life all in one place. So in case of any unpredictable circumstance, while taking the painful tragedy, that painful aftermath out of that tragedy, and making your life simpler. One thing we can all count on is that we’re all going to die, get sick, get disabled, get injured, or lose everything in a disaster and a tragedy. And we all know what that looks like specially this year. It’s been an incredible, incredible year around the globe, with floods, with tragic flooding, actually, hurricanes, tornadoes, recently, the condo collapse was fairly recent and Florida. Crazy, crazy things wildfires this year, in both California in the States, as well as in British Columbia, heat temperatures and just crazy climate changes as well as disaster natural disasters.
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So let’s get this party started everybody. If you found us then you are here for a reason. Please like, share, and subscribe to our channel, to your loved ones as well, that this may help in their journey in their change of life changing event, whatever it might be. We are here to help you. Our special guest today is David Hollingsworth. And he’s from Virginia, United States. And I’d like to welcome him on the show is very, very cool story. The more obstacles I overcome, the stronger I become. And that was well said by Gracie Alvarez.
And I’m just going to bring here let’s bring David on our show. Welcome, David. Welcome.
Thank you very much, Tina. It’s great to be here.
Awesome. I’m so excited to hear your story. I’m going to give a little introduction for our listeners so everybody can better understand who is David. And what what happened to David. That’s what we’re going to talk about today.
David is an award winning speaker, storyteller and author of the book get out the door. He speaks on achievement, resilience, goal setting overcoming obstacles, and service excellence through his engaging humor and personal storytelling. He in 2004, David experienced at devastating motorcycle accident that fractured his spine and left him unable to stand or walk. join him on this journey from his wheelchair to successfully running up the Empire State Building, and many, many more triathlons. And he is a dynamic entertaining speaker who speaks to corporate and association audiences, special need communities and trauma accident survivor groups.
Well, that is quite the introduction, David. Welcome. Welcome to our show. You know, David, I kind of wear my Canadian shirt for y’all today so that you can feel the vibes from Canada. I wanted to talk about your journey in 2004. And what the kind of life that you had been living and how that changed so that our listeners get a better understanding.
Sure, in 2004, I was going through what some would call a midlife crisis, I was decided I wanted to learn how to ride a motorcycle. Oh. Like, the way I pretty much go after everything else. I will research everything on how to do that I read up on what’s the best instruction to take what’s the best motorcycle to get for a beginner, what are the best safety procedures, the best safety equipment, and I could plan to do everything extremely safe. In fact, I have not gone out on any public streets other than just riding around in parking lots in my own little housing subdivision to get used to that feeling. And I had planned to take a the Motorcycle Safety Foundation course, that upcoming weekend. So July 9 2004, which happened to be my mom’s birthday. And my wife at the time was vacationing down with her parents down in North Carolina.
The babysitter was with the kids, and I was going to take just 1520 minutes to ride around the neighborhood and get some practicing before the class the next day. I was practicing in a parking lot doing figure eights and going back and forth starting and stopping. And on my third pass across, I accelerated across the parking lot. And then the plan was to hit the clutch and brake and stop suddenly because you that’s one of the things I teach in the class. Well as I accelerated a hit a patch of sand in the parking lot and the bike started to slip. And if you’re hanging on to something and you start to fall, the tendency is to grab onto whatever you’ve got close to you. And if you’re right handed, you tend to grab harder on the right side of the handlebars, which happened to be the frog. You know, the bike shot forward. And before I had a chance to get on the clutch and brake and stop the bike, I hit a curb, bounced into the air in landed with my spine directly on the corner of the curb. And as soon as I hit the ground, I knew it was bad. I’m, you know, looking at blinking and wiggling my fingers to see okay, does that work in wiggling my left foot and then trying to wiggle my right toes, realizing they didn’t work?
Were you connected to the bike still or I was somewhere else.
I went over the I bounced up in the bike was up on the up on the grass. And I was laying literally across the curb. Somebody saw it happen, and called the paramedics who came to get me and they were holding the stable while they tried to figure out, you know, what was damaged. And when we got to my right leg, my right leg was completely paralyzed. They put me in a neck brace and on a backboard and transported me to the hospital.
And it was paralyzed right away. Like, I could not feel my right leg. Okay.
And so we started the, they got enough out of me to get some phone numbers to contact some people, you know, my wife, my neighbors, somebody to get the kids. And then they had to have stabilized me for about 48 hours before they would attempt surgery. And right before surgery, the doctor, you know, said You know, we’re going to do everything we can. But I can’t guarantee that you’re going to walk again. And put your head was okay. My head was like I was wearing a helmet. I was wearing gloves, a jacket, patted motorcycle pants and boots, I was very well protected on the bike. But when I got thrown off of it, I hit something very hard. Yeah. Which was what fractured my spine. It was a what the ear report said an explosive burst fracture of the LT vertebra compressed on three axes of the spinal cord. So the spinal cord was compressed by about 60%. And that pressure was what was making my right leg not feel anything. And after a seven hour surgery. They brought me out and we went into recovery. And then that was kind of the stage for everything else that happened after that. But yet, before surgery, I was told that I might never walk again. And when I look at the x rays, they were pretty scary.
Oh, that’s terrible. So sorry to hear that. And you wouldn’t think like in just a parking lot practicing that anyone?
You would think you would think that was this literally the safest place I could be. There were no other vehicles. There were no other people. It was just me the bike in an elementary school parking lot. Yeah. And and even the bike wasn’t some big Harley Davidson motorcycle. This is a little Honda Rebel 250. And within rebel would be in quotes. It’s about the smallest street legal bike there is. Oh, Chase, but even that is supposed to be the perfect beginner bike and I think it is. But even that can get away from you. Yeah, I have a client too, was that the light tan they had the same sort of they had just started riding as well. The light turned green, they were at a stoplight and the light turned green. And as soon as they went they flipped over the handy handlebars. And, and yeah, they’re in a wheelchair and we’ll never be the same. And it wasn’t like they were speeding or going fast. I mean, they were at a stoplight.
So and I was literally in an elementary school parking lot. Like if the bike had hit the curb 12 inches to the left or the right. I would have just gone over the handlebars and into the grass. But right where was it was the pavement drop down about four inches. So the bike stopped that I went over and hit the curb? Yeah. So yeah, it was quite the sudden and unexpected event. And I would not I thought it was just gonna be out for 10 minutes. And literally it changed the entire trajectory of what I was doing at the time. Oh and your life. Yeah, absolutely. I was In the hospital for well, actually, let’s even back up after surgery. They had me in recovery for about six or seven days before they transported me to rehab. And before they did, they wanted me to stand because I was literally bolted back together, they glued my L two back together, did a bone graft for my hip and put two titanium rods and four screws to hold everything together. And they wanted to see if I could stand before they transported me to rehab. And with two people on either side of me, they got me standing but I couldn’t stay up by myself. Right. Then they transported me to rehab. And I was you know, vomiting, blood and all sorts of other yucky stuff all the way over to the other hospital. And they had to intubate me at the rehab hospital. And so I couldn’t speak while they’re trying to get all this gunk out of my stomach. And after the what does that cause from David, do you think?
Well, from the from the impact, there’s a lot of internal soft tissue damage. And you know, just a lot of blood and stuff that had collected that needed to come out one way or the other. It was causing me to to vomit. stuff. Yeah. So the intubated me to get to vacuum all that out. And I even though technically I could breathe, I didn’t feel like I could, I felt like I was suffocating. And after it had been in there for about 12 or 13 hours, I rang the nurses called buttless, like four in the morning. And I wrote on the pet, take this thing out. And she said, I can’t you know, I don’t know what will happen, you might die if we do it. And I wrote on the pad. I don’t care. I just wanted it out. Now, the good news is, once they took it out, I could breathe normally, they’ve gotten all the stuff out and I slowly stabilized. But at the time, I literally didn’t care if I lived or died at that point. Right? Because I literally felt like I couldn’t breathe.
And what does that cause from? Did they say what that feeling is?
I’m not sure where that feeling comes from. But I wanted to I wanted that pain to be over. And you know, you start to learn where your limits are. And that you’re not invulnerable.
How true is that? Yeah. That’s about you’re not Superman? No, I think before the cold, we’re talking about that. And I said, I’m not a DC superhero. I’m a Marvel superhero, Spider Man and Iron Man. They all have great abilities, but they’re all vulnerable. They all have their frailties, and character defects that make them human. And the other achievements are nothing without that humanity. You know, that’s what makes the real. And I learned, you know where that limit was. And once I got stable from that, then the whole journey for rehab started and I was in the hospital for about two and a half months. Learning to stand and walk again. Did you talk right away? Yeah, once he took that out, I could talk once they pull the tube out. Yeah. And I did swear a lot. Going through rehab, because it was quite painful. I literally lost all the strength in my right leg and had to build that back up from zero.
So it was learning how to build the strength to pull myself up out of a wheelchair to stand at a set of parallel bars to take one tiny step while I’m supporting myself with my arms, and each day was just another challenge. Yeah, it was a new challenge in progress was never in a straight line. You know, there’d be days when I’d really advanced on days when I felt like I was going back three or four steps. But between wanting to be better and being angry about being in the hospital and not being around my kids that sort of pushed me to work harder and harder to get to the point where it was about a week before they discharged me. They’re going to discharge me to a lower level of rehab from home. And my nurse who had been with me from the beginning, she was from the Ivory Coast in Africa hurting was peace. Oh, hey, peace, take a look at this. So she came over and I locked my wheelchair into position. And she had seen me when I came in and got intubated. That night, I locked the wheelchair the position, pushed myself up to stand and then slowly took step by step by step around the nurse’s station, there was really only about 30 feet. And I got back to the wheelchair, and seal kind of fell into it. So what do you think of that she had tears in her eyes, because she saw what I was like when I came in. And that’s one thing that’s interesting is it’s hard to know how far you come in a particular journey, because you have no perspective. Well, you don’t see yourself, you don’t see yourself from the sheet, how far I’ve come. And that helped me realize that yeah, this was a big deal.
That when I came in, I couldn’t walk and now I could walk again. And that’s something that wasn’t a sure thing. When it came, you know, and talking. Yeah, and talking, even going to the bathroom on my own. In the book of right about, you know, at first, you know, I had to have assistance from nurses and orderlies to go to the bathroom. And I had to ring the bell, I’d have to get somebody to kind of rotate me tilt me up, help me into the wheelchair, pushed me in the wheelchair, get to the bathroom, do all the reverse things to get into the bathroom. And one day I noticed I had to go and rang the bell and nothing Oh, nobody coming. I’m like, bringing you a bit more urgently and and hoping that I’m going to make it. And I realized there’s no cavalry coming over the hill. This is this is all me. And it’s either going to be I make it or, you know, Clean up on aisle three. It was you know, I I’m sweating, like pushing myself up, lowering myself into the wheelchair rolling myself over straining to get myself out of the wheelchair and into into position. And then I made it. And I’m literally crying because I’ve made it to the bathroom. And like even those little tiny things become such a big deal.
It’s so shocking, isn’t it when something’s been injured and you can’t use your right hand or you can’t use your legs or going to the washroom is such a such a huge goal for the day.
Oh, I felt like I felt like I climbed Mount Everest. It was Yeah. It was I was elated by the fact that I didn’t have to have help at that point. And, you know, I laugh about it now. But when it was happening, it was like it was pure panic.
So what did your wife and kids do in these two months that you were doing this rehab?
Well, the the hospital was about 45 minutes from the house. So they couldn’t come every day. They came when they could. But it was they were waiting for dad to get better. I would talk on the phone as much as I could. But every time I saw them, they would change a little bit because of the time they were six and nine years old. And so every time you see them, they’ve changed. Yeah. And it took a long time to after I got home for them to feel like Dad’s gonna be okay. Because if I wasn’t home on time, they would worry that something else had happened.
Right. And so when this sort of thing happens, I mean, I’m sure they’re worried about you recovering and getting better and to come home. But in the meantime, your wife has now had to change all of her life changing event for her to because now she has to find someone to help out with the kids or pay the bills or what’s your job to like, where’s the income coming from what bank accounts do i You like your whole life? Yeah.
You know, even though I’m not the best planner in the world, I had put a lot of things in place. Before that, that helped. We had an au pair at the time who helped us with the kids. So that part continued as normal. With my job, I made sure that I had short and long term Disability insurance that took care of, you know, my pay and recovery. That’s good. The family wasn’t inconvenience or harmed by what happened to me. And I didn’t have at the time, I didn’t have any, you know, vision of everything is happening here. Yeah, what I did do that. And it reminds me of a quote that, you know, is attributed to David Eisenhower, Dwight, David Eisenhower, that in in battle plans are useless. But planning is essential that when something happens, you’re going to scramble, it’s not going to come off just as you expected, you’re going to have to make changes and adapt to the situation. But if you’ve got the plans in place, that part of the thinking is already done. You don’t have to worry about that. And you can focus on doing what’s necessary right now.
Well, and I talked about that in our shows about being present. Because when something like that happens, your mind goes, Oh, my god, how am I going to pay the bills? Where’s this? Where’s that? Where, what do I do for this? Who do I call for that? What’s my account number what? You know, your brain just goes cuckoo. Yes, since then, I’ve made it a point to have multiple copies of all my critical insecure areas, you know, that’s not going to be compromised online. But there is a certain number of trusted professionals or, or professional professional or other people that I trust, have access to that information if I can’t get to it. Right. And I’ve made sure since then, that, you know, accident insurance, disability insurance and life insurance is, you know, the right amount for the right things. In fact, I have so much life insurance, I don’t call it insurance anymore. I call it incentive. If something happens to me, I want to make sure that he checked it the least. But I made sure that financial security is one of the things that I focused on, if something does happen to me, that the family and kids are fine.
Yeah. Because you can change the part of you not being there, obviously. Right.
It doesn’t replace me. Know. And it’s it doesn’t it’s not as funny as me, but at least the basics are taken care of.
Right. The assistance that’s needed at the time. It’s like having the there tornado that came through Kentucky this last week. Yeah. People losing everything right down to the ground of their foundation.
Yeah, yeah. When I was four years old, my entire town was wiped out by a series of tornadoes that came through Indiana. And fortunately, our particular house wasn’t hit, but many of our neighbors lost everything.
Yeah. Yeah. So we talked about that to what you would like to keep, and where are you going to store it? So that, you know that type of thing, also. So you ended up getting home about two months later and started your new life at home?
Yeah, it was the I was off of work for a full six months. I had to wear what they call a TLSO. Braces, thoracic lumbar sacral something. I don’t know a pain in the neck brace.
Yeah, a pain in the neck, back spine hips. It was like a plastic clamshell that went from my armpits, all the way down to my hips, like a giant turtle shell. And I had to wear it 24 hours a day at first. And as I got stronger, you know, I had to walk every day away from walking to the mailbox, which is day one. In walking further and further and further to events. I was walking about seven miles a day. And when I went back to work, I had to wear the TLSO breaks during the day. And I got on a plane to things flying to Phoenix, and I had to go through you know, this was post 911. So you had to go through enhanced security. And they said you’ve got to take this brace all the way I don’t know what’s going to happen. Might be like, you know, the Slinky Dog or everything just falls apart. Fortunately, I didn’t fall apart. In by the time February or March rolled around about nine months, I was able to get rid of the brace completely. Oh, nice. And eventually, you know, go back to more normal things. But it was a very slow process to add things back into my life. Like it took a year before I was able to get back on a bicycle again.
What about sitting? David? Sitting sitting? Okay, oh, it’s fine. People asked me, Do I have back pain? And no, I don’t have any back pain because I am bolted together. My spine is in great shape these days. And that’s, you know, 17 years post accident. So I’m very happy with how the surgery turned out. And how I how I learned to build things back to normal. But it’s been a constant journey of, you know, learning what I could do after the accident. Yeah, because after I got discharged from normal care, I asked the doctor, you know, Can I Can I drive? Can I do this? I said, you can do anything you want. I said, Can I run? And he said, Yeah, if somebody’s chasing you, oh, if you have to, but so to speak. Yeah. years after the accident I was I kind of stalled out in a lot of areas.
Here personally, I wasn’t in a good place, I gained a lot of weight. And I decided that I wanted to make some changes. And I didn’t know if I could run. So the very first time I went out there, and I jogged, which is the best way I can describe it, about 60 feet. But the next day I did 60 feet again. And each day I would add just a little bit more, I would like you know, walk 60 feet jog 60 feet walks, if you can just add to the distance. In overtime of about six months, I actually went out and ran my first 5k after the accident. So this is like 2012 No 2013 at this point. Wow. And wasn’t fast. You know, you’re back of the pack runner. But I could run. And that really got me excited to see where I could go with that. Mm hmm. So over the next six months, I kept, you know, training longer and further. And I went from in six months, I went from about eight months, I went from running my first 5k to running a half marathon in Indianapolis. And I think you know, if I can do a half? Why can’t it? Why can I do the whole thing? So in December of 2013, right before 2014 It was gonna be the 10th anniversary year of the accident. I put together a bucket list of everything I wanted to do.
And and why do you think that? Why do you think you wanted to do that? A bucket list? Do you think the the whole life changing event made you want to do that?
Yeah, it was. I have a pretty wide stubborn streak. And I don’t like being told no. So part of me just my stubbornness to say, you know, people said I couldn’t do this, I’m going to do this. But it was also to hopefully inspire other people to see what they could do. So in February, I signed up for an event for raising money to run up the Empire State Building. And the I don’t know, which was scary or running at the Empire State Building, you’re having to raise 2500 bucks.
Because I think that $2,500 is the multiple myeloma Research Foundation I raised the funds for they were very helpful in giving ideas on how to raise the funds, but they were clear on look, if you’re committing to this, you’re gonna bring 2500 bucks, whether it’s through donations or your own, so I was it’s like the line that Sean Connery says The Hunt for Red October is when Cortes came to New World, he burned his Butch. This has been we’re highly motivated. I was highly motivated to raise the money I ended up raising twice, twice as good and it was a blast. was a lot of fun to do. And that was in February than in April and May I ran to sprint triathlons. And I signed up for the Marine Corps Marathon and started training for that. And, you know, it was hard to come up with a coach and a trainer, and all these other things to get all the planning that had to put in place to make this happen. Right. You know, I wasn’t 22 years old at the time, I was a lot older, and I had to make sure that I didn’t get injured in training. And then I trained enough. And prior about a week before the event, Comcast sports that, you know, came out to interview me for their TV show. And they said, What’s the hardest thing about training for a marathon? And I thought, you know, the hardest thing wasn’t recovering from the accident, the hardest thing wasn’t training for it. And the hardest thing wasn’t running. The actual The hardest thing was getting my butt off the couch and getting out the door every day. Because once I got up and got moving, the rest of it just kind of fell into place. So severe.
Do you think when we have injuries like that, David, that, you know, we, we tend to? Well all wait, you know, and it’s easier just to not do it?
Oh, yeah, in fact, the easiest thing to do is just to kind of keep doing what you’re doing. You know, as I tell people change is traumatic at best, even if it’s positive change, because it’s just different. And it interrupts what you’re doing on a daily basis. But once you make that change, that becomes part of your new normal. And it becomes easier just to keep going than it does to stop. So, stubbornness does have its advantages. That once I started doing that, everyday became easier just to keep training for it. And once I got done, it was like, Wow, this, this was hard. But once I broke it down into small chunks, it was a lot more straightforward than I expected it to be.
The achievement over wrote the challenge. Yeah.
And the the challenge was part of the story. Because, you know, it wouldn’t have been as much as interesting, if the challenge wasn’t there. You know, because I see elite athletes and people who are, you know, they all work hard. You know, nobody does that. Just nobody gets off the couch and decides to run a marathon. Everybody who does that works hard at it. But the story was not how fast I did it, or what, you know, what my time was, you know, whatever it was everything to build up to that. And the race itself was almost anti climactic. Because without the other story, it wouldn’t have been as exciting.
Right? So what do you find? Is the challenge now for you? Having done all of those goals?
Well, it’s it’s trying to figure out what is the next thing. You know, as you know, everybody gets older every day. And some some days when I’m working out, it’s really just to maintain what I’m currently doing. But one of the things I also found was rewarding for me, which, which was telling stories. And I had been getting on stage telling stories that the moth and other storytelling shows, and I have a lot of, I get a lot of enjoyment out of doing that. about learning to tell a story that people could put themselves into. And when I work with this first book, the first draft of was was all about me. And my editor handed the book back and he said, David, this is a great story, but nobody’s gonna read it, but you literally all about you.
So is this the get out the door book that you’re talking about?
Yeah. And I had to reframe the story into something that other people could see themselves in because not everybody. I mean, most people, if they’re smart, don’t want to run a marathon. You know, it’s it’s not fun. You know, it is a it is a slog, you know, and you have to do months of training and all these other things to get to that. But everybody has obstacles they want to overcome. Everybody has things that get thrown in their way. Everybody has goals in winning achieve. And that’s where I felt the story was you And once I finished that book, it’s okay. What’s the next book? You know, what’s the next challenge? So I’ve got about three or four books in the pipeline. To to get out there, because I think that the stories themselves are valuable in what other people can see themselves in those stories. I have to get out the door has been out since February. I have a book that just came out about one of I think, 12 authors in the book about a book about humor, about adding humor to your stories. And I have a blog, right, put out stories of different subjects that, you know, I try to get things out every week, but you know, I do the best I can on that. Yeah. Really? What is the next story? What is the next thing that I can do to inspire help other people?
Oh, that’s lovely. And everybody the listeners are all of David’s information is in the description box below, on the podcast, as well as the live stream. So. So David, what do you think you would like other injured people? To know, I mean, listening to you, and with what difficulties I’ve had, personally, I find patients the hardest struggle in your own mind. And that’s because we don’t want to just take that one step and think that’s okay, you know, like, we need the patients to, to appreciate how far we’ve come. And that that part for me, I think, is is hard to deal with that patients
it can be, what I found was that things that you may not think about become very important, have you been able to realize that progress is never a straight line, you may go forward two days may go back next to you may take a detour, your plans may change, things get thrown your way you didn’t expect. So progress is never a straight line.
The other part is that things like anger and stubbornness and character traits that may be seen as negative can actually be pretty positive, if you put them in the right perspective. We’re talking about Superman and other superheroes. You know, one of my favorites is the Incredible Hulk. And in one of the movies, the character who plays the Hulk says, you want to know my secret? I’m always angry. And that I felt was something that if you put it if you point it in the right direction, anger can be very useful. And so I tried, I tried to use it for good of as as a as a negative
into persistence. And yeah, it can turn into positive things if you channel it in the right direction. Mm hmm.
So what do you think was challenging the most challenging part of this journey so far in these 17 years?
I really getting up every day and getting at it is continuing to rinse and repeat as many times as necessary to keep moving in the right direction. And if there’s a detour to recognize that detour early, so you can take action to move things back in the right direction.
And what do you think was the most challenging in the 17 years with your family, you and your family?
Well, it did take it did take a toll on the family. It’s you know, as I mentioned with my kids, they were worried about what’s going to happen to me, you know, am I going to be around and it made me more aware of the things that I needed to put into place. So that if something did happen, that the impact wouldn’t be as severe. Like in 2008 I got hit by a car while I was on my bicycle. I wasn’t seriously hurt. But I could have been I really with other injuries.
Yeah. And that’s that was one of my worries at the time is that he in? When the guy hit him, he actually he blew right through a stop sign and hit me while I was in the crosswalk. Initially, he claimed that I wrote out in front of him, but fortunately I had enough You know, telemetry had like a GPS and a heart rate monitor and all these other things that showed me stopping at the intersection waiting for the traffic to clear. And then him passing three cars on the right and, and I ended up on his hood. You know, fractured vertebrae but not seriously. So I didn’t have to go through a lot of rehab after that. But I was aware of how vulnerable I was just doing something normal.
And did you think oh, this again, that was my first thought it was, I went up on the hood of the car, in the back down on the pavement, I was still attached the bike because my pedals are still clipped in. And the guy reaches down to help me out. But I like Get your hands off of me. And I was so angry, I was so mad that he hit me. Fortunately, I wasn’t seriously hurt. Insurance took care of the bike took care, my medical bills. So it goes back to making sure that I have those things in place. Because you can’t predict what’s going to happen. No, I am more careful these days. But I’m also aware that something can happen that I don’t expect.
Yeah, it’s just unusual that you’ve had similar instances of the same thing. Yeah.
So it’s, I don’t want to think that I’m a crash magnet. But you know, it has happened at least twice.
Is that what your kids call? You? Know, that’s what the folks that were called me. They they literally called me crash. Because I did have I did have another accident with a car, I was taking a performance driving course at some point raceway. And one of the things that the instructors will tell you there is, is if a meteor falls in the sky and crushes your car, that’s an accident. Everything else is driver error. Well, I had I’m still calling it an accident. One day I was I had an instructor in the car next to me, it on the seat in the car next to me, and we lost the brakes on the car coming down the straightaway. And I glanced over I said we have no brakes. What they tell you to do in driving is to look where you want to go, not what you want to avoid.
So I’m looking where the turn goes over here. But by that time, we’d gone under the grass and the car is not turning. So I’m looking at the trees coming up in front of us. And they say you know, if you’re going to hit something, hit something smaller versus something larger, hit something softer versus something harder. And even go or between something do that. So I saw these two trees and I couldn’t get to either side. Okay, get between the trees. And the car just went through right up to the mirrors. Right between the trees. Oh. I looked at him. He said your case. Yep, he okay. We climbed out of the car. And everybody was okay. But things happen. And I learned that your brakes can feel when you least expected.
And it wasn’t supposed to happen that way. It happened we were in about the safest place we could be.
Wow, that’s scary thought though, when your brakes don’t work?
Yeah, it’s it’s, uh, your mind really races to say, Okay, what do I do now? You know, you’ve got to check for your emergency brake, you got to see if you can pump the brakes. You can see how do you slow down. And you know, it all happens just a few seconds. And it’s kind of like hitting ice. I find Yeah. Once we hit rest the car was just, you know, Isaac Newton was in charge at that point. We were. We’re at the mercy of physics.
Yeah, exactly. Well, that was good thinking on your part for going somewhere safe.
Yeah, if we didn’t have a scratch the car was totaled, but we were fine.
Oh, that’s awesome. So what do you think you would have for your listeners to, to your last final messages from maybe something from your book? Or what were you thinking?
Well, the thing, the thing that I tell people is, you know, as I said before, most people if they’re smart, don’t want to run a marathon. But everybody has goals they want to achieve everybody has obstacles that they want to overcome or things that get thrown in their way. And the hardest thing to do isn’t overcoming the obstacle or going after the goal. The hardest thing to do is just everyday getting out the door. Once you get out the door. The rest is easy. Because you’re in motion. And once you’re in motion, you can go anywhere you want to go.
Whether you want to take that long walk or short walk or whatever. Absolutely. That is,
and that is all up to you, is it? Where do you want to go? If you decide where you want to go, you can get there.
That’s awesome. And so in your book, because we don’t want to forget not talking about that. So why should people purchase your book? Why what? It’s your journey, obviously.
Yeah, I think that if they have things that where they think they’re stuck, they may see some of the things that I talked about, that they’ve run into as well. I talk about the things that were successes, I also talk about some fairly painful personal things that I went through over that journey. And that journey still isn’t complete. And I think that if people want to see what they can do to turn their life in a better direction, the book is about getting started. And that is the launching pad for everything else you want to do. So that’s what I think the benefit of the book is, is that once you get started, you can go anywhere.
And you sure don’t think that though, when you’re like you were lying in that hospital bed with the tube down your throat, no, I was not thinking about, hey, I’m going to go run a marathon that was completely the furthest thing from my mind. That at that point, it was getting the to balance it was learning to stand it was doing going to the bathroom. Yeah, going to the bathroom, which was an achievement in and of itself. But once you get the basics done, it’s like I what I want to do, what do I want to do now. And there’s a whole universe of possibilities out there. And once you get started, the whole world opens up to you.
And I think, you know, from our other shows of life changing events, support is so needed.
Yes, surrounding yourself with good people, finding out what resources you need to use. You’re not the first person to try to do almost anything. Somebody else has been through what you’ve been through. And but
you you must have had good support. Good family, too.
Yeah, I did have a good support team around me. And it was important to recognize that I had to lean on them at times, you can’t do everything yourself.
Even though you think you can. Oh, and me especially Yeah. I’ve had to learn that lesson time and time again.
Yeah, it’s true. Did you have any other messages you’d like to give the listeners?
No, I think that, especially as we’re coming down to the end of the year and started a new year, a lot of people make New Year’s resolutions and a lot of people abandon them. After three weeks or so. Get started. You know, once you get started, you can get started again, it’s the same exercise and knowing that progress is not on a straight line. All progress is progress, even if it’s just deciding to move forward. So don’t think of it as a New Year’s resolution. Think of it as Okay, what do I do now? And once you decide that you can go anywhere you want to go.
Right, no matter what obstacles are ahead of you.
Yeah, obstacles or, you know, obstacles are just part of the journey. You know, they make the story interesting. That’s the truth. That’s true. Absolutely.
I feel like Bugs Bunny or something. And that’s the truth.
Absolutely. I think was the one she had the the character that would say that’s the truth and make a funny noise.
Yeah, I think I just couldn’t remember who who that was. It was almost like the laugh in show or something. Oh, yeah, wasn’t it Colonel blank or something?
Yeah, rd Johnson was the guy little German German helmet. Yeah. Lily Tomlin played the character Edith Ian, who would sit in the chair say that’s the truth.
Yeah. And she’d say that yeah, that’s right. That’s the truth. I knew I couldn’t I knew I had heard it from something when you soon as you said it. So there you go. Well, thank you, David. That was a wonderful story actually. Have your resilience and your courage and your anger that comes in handy. Your persistence You know, showing people that even something as simple as a motorcycle in a parking lot, how tragic of an injury you can get into as well as overcome. Yeah. You know, it’s, my client was, like I said, was just sitting at the light and he flew right over the handlebars, yeah, it’s things can happen that you don’t expect.
And he has a brain injury for the rest of his life. So, you know, everybody over Christmas and the holidays, and once we’re into January and February, please stay safe. You know, anything, like David said, can happen. Ice is a terrible thing to because you never know when you’re going to hit black ice. And that can spin you around a few times. Which I’ve done, and wonder where you’re going to end up after you’re spinning. So I want to thank you for coming on our show. David, I appreciate all of your knowledge and your humor and your, your excitement for people to get a goal and have a step forward.
Well, thank you very much. I enjoyed coming on the show. And we look forward to hearing from your audience.
Awesome. And all of David’s information is down below. So please take a moment and as we said, subscribe to the show because you want to click on that bell rang my bell, ring my bell down below, right down there somewhere. I’m not sure where it is on here. But subscribe and ring the bell so that you get notified of our next shows. Just like Stay tuned for our podcasts and live streams. I have great conversations with some of the most interesting and accomplished people in the world today. I think you will all be entertained, informed, and I hope that we’ve inspired and motivated you to start thinking about your unique plan.
No one is Superman, no in a spider man. So expect the unexpected. I want to if you are thinking of someone right now during the show someone special in your mind. Please reach out to them today because you don’t know what tomorrow may bring. And we all have phones text, Skype, Facebook, Zoom like you can do it you can reach out to that person that you’re thinking about today because you don’t know what tomorrow may bring. We were all on all podcast platforms Youtube, Instagram, LinkedIn, Twitter, Tik Tok and Facebook as well as a Facebook community group which you can find on our channel.
Thank you for taking the time and sharing it with us I love each and every one of you and I always end our show David with Carol Burnett I know you know who Carol Burnett is I’m so glad we had this time together just to have a laugh or sing a song seems we just get started and before you know it comes to time we have to say so long
talk you’re here Yeah.
So everybody stay safe. Expect the unexpected. Be kind until the next time nice to see everybody thanks you stay there David.
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“The more obstacles I overcome, the stronger I become”, Gracie Alvarez- I’VE GOT TO BEAT THIS TRAUMA IN MY LIFE!
Deborah Atella is a certified life coach, meditation teacher and Reiki master.
She hosts the aTELLa LIKE IT IS podcast and created the Sisterhood of What Next?! Facebook group. Deborah is the author of the international best selling book, Is This Job My Jam?
I’VE GOT TO BEAT THIS TRAUMA IN MY LIFE!- The Guide For Grown ups Who Still Don’t Know What They Want To Be. Deborah spent years excelling at jobs that she didn’t love, trying to find work-life balance as a mom and hiding her spiritual gifts. Her pursuit of self ultimately led to clarity, relief and the start of her coaching/healing business. Deborah helps her clients figure out what they really want to do, navigate the issues that arise with making changes and bring more joy into their lives. One of her biggest values is truth so the aTELLa LIKE IT IS podcast focuses on Deborah and her guests telling the true behind the scene stories of their lives, relationships and businesses. As a skillful connector, she brings women together in community in the Sisterhood of What Next Facebook?! Group. Born and raised in Philadelphia, Deborah now lives in the suburbs where she and her handsome husband Jeff raised their 3 now adult children. When she isn’t working she loves going on adventures, cooking giant Italian meals (with gravy, not sauce) resetting at the beach and most of all playing with her grandson!
Welcome YOUR BACKUP PLAN TRIBE. Awesome, awesome podcast.
I’m so excited to be here with you guys.
Welcome. If you are new here, welcome to our show. If you are a returning subscriber, and thank you for coming back and watching, I appreciate each and every one of you. Thank you so very much.
I’VE GOT TO BEAT THIS TRAUMA IN MY LIFE!- Our show today is I’ve got to beat the trauma in my life. Yeah, doesn’t everybody have some trauma, but you just wait. Debra from Philly is gonna tell us a few things about her traumas. And there’s not just one. So stay tuned. My name is Tina, Ginn, if you are new here, welcome to our show. I have TALKING TABOO WITH TINA brought to you from YOUR BACKUP PLAN APP. And we focus on real raw conversations with our listeners about their journey from a life changing event in their life. You know, we have a problem about talking taboo subjects with each and every one even the closest person in our lives. We have difficulty talking taboo subjects with so what is your backup plan app?
Well, YOUR BACKUP PLAN APP puts your life all in one place in case of any unpredictable circumstance while taking that painful aftermath out of the tragedy. And what does that mean? That’s a whole bunch of words wrapped up in a small paragraph. And everybody says, What does that mean, Tina? Well, one thing you can count on is that you are going to die. Yes, we are all going to die. We just don’t know when or how we get sick or disabled, we get injured or we lose everything in a disaster or a tragedy. So be prepared for the unexpected because, you know, we’re not Superman. Don’t take it won’t happen to me, illusion.
Because you know, I see it in the news this week, British Columbia and Washington state in the United States has been plummeted by floods, torrential rains, and we have lost a city in British Columbia, a whole city is underwater, a whole other section of another city is partially underwater. And the sewage plants, of course, are then affected. The water systems are affected. And of course, the power is affected. And people are stranded in their cars for mudslides. We’ve had huge highways, the only basically one of the two highways coming from the big city going to other cities of British Columbia have been torn apart and left. I really don’t know when they’re going to be repaired. So there’s a gas issue because trucks and vehicles cannot get to these other cities, we have grocery problems, because there’s not enough stock, there’s not enough transportation.
So be prepared guys, because we don’t know what tomorrow’s gonna bring. So on that note, we are going to be launching the emerging blueprint with your backup plan. And that is going to help everybody understand why what and how to get your crap together today, or tomorrow, or this month, or next month, or next year to get it prepared so that you understand what you have and what you don’t have, what coverages you have, what you probably have, but you’re not really sure what it means. We’re going to have worksheets to have those family conversations with either your spouse, partner or family member. We’re going to have a library of videos and interviews, talking to people in the industries in each of the countries eventually that we’re going to start with the United States and Canada. And of course the basics are for everybody around the world. So don’t left out just yet.
I’VE GOT TO BEAT THIS TRAUMA IN MY LIFE!- But it will pertain to you. You just have to see what rules are around that section of the of whatever category that you’re looking at, in your city or town or country. So if you are new here, welcome to your backup plan tribe. And I am an Emerging preparedness emerging preparedness coach, a best selling author of in the blink of an eye, because yes, everything happens in the blink of an eye. That’s as fast as it is. You won’t believe it. Everybody doesn’t believe it when it happens to you. I am a financial expert and an app developer of your backup plan app and I’m right here located in beautiful Vancouver BC.
Not so beautiful this past week. But hopefully it will get back on track. I’d like to welcome all of you to our show and those of her repeat sending my love and you know, I wouldn’t be here without you guys. So thank you so very much. Click on that, hit that subscribe button down here in the corner. Thank you so very much. Click on that hit that subscribe button in the corner. I’m apparently live on my phone it just started. Isn’t that freaky? Wow, that is so weird. Anyways, click on the subscribe button down here in the corner. Please do I’d love to have you come on our shows each and every week. I’d like to welcome my United States and Canadian listeners from around the world also, Germany is probably the third highest listening group.
So thank you, my German listeners. I ran Ireland and Sweden are next. And I’ll have to work on those when you guys move up the ladder a little bit. I will have that Irish accent down pat for you by then. And Swedish. I’ll work on that part as well. So welcome. Thank you for coming. Let’s get this party started. Our special guest today is of course Deborah. And she comes to us from beautiful Philadelphia.
I’VE GOT TO BEAT THIS TRAUMA IN MY LIFE! – Let’s bring her on. There she is. Hi, Tina. Hi, how are you? I’m awesome. How are you? It’s like it’s sunny there. So that must be good. I have a beautiful little write up here for you that I’m going to introduce you. So here’s Deborah. Deborah Atella is a certified life coach, a meditation teacher and Reiki master, she helps the sorry, I need my glasses. She helps host the Atella like his podcast and created the sisterhood of what next?
In the Facebook group. Deborah is the author of the international best selling book is this job, my jam, the guide for grownups who still don’t know what they want to be. Oh my goodness. Pretty much takes care of everybody. Right? Deborah is born and raised in Philly. Deborah now lives in the suburbs where she and her handsome handsome husband Jeff brace their three now adult children. When she isn’t working, she loves going on adventures cooking giant Italian meals all I’m there with you. With gravy, not sauce, resettling resetting at the beach, and most of all playing with her grandson. And all of her links you will find in the description box down below. So thank you, Deborah, for coming on. I’m so excited for you guys to hear her story. You won’t believe it. You just you you if she laughs about it, because because I can now we can now That’s right. That’s right. So Deborah, tell us all about where this all started for you.
I’VE GOT TO BEAT THIS TRAUMA IN MY LIFE! – Well, Tina, thank you for having me here. And you know, I was, of course, you know, backstage listening to your answer when you said about the blink of an eye and people really don’t believe that. That is how quickly your life can change in the blink of an eye in January of 2005. So it was a while ago. I was 36 years old. So do the math. You can figure it out. I am now 36 years old. I had three little kids married happily married and I went To bed healthy, vibrant, just got a new job as a spinning instructor. You know, it was the helping mom at preschool that day cooked dinner for the my husband and the kids. That night, my husband, we were all watching TV in our family room and the kids and I didn’t want to watch what he was watching.
So we went upstairs and four of us crawled in my bed to watch some, you know, kids show, we all fell asleep. At some point in the night, my oldest son made it to his room and my baby girl made it to her room. And my middle guy was so in my bed. And I woke up around two in the morning. And because I always look at the clock, whenever I get up, and I woke up around two in the morning, and I had like some pains in my stomach. So this is a little TMI, but I felt like I had to poop right now. So I go into the bathroom. And that morning, I had actually been to the gynecologist I was going to have I needed a procedure done to my uterus.
And I so I had to have a biopsy done that morning. So it goes into the bathroom and blood came out. And it came out the back and I thought oh, wow, that He nicked something. Why did that just happen? That’s so weird. I honestly was like, I’ll deal with this in the morning, I feel better. I went back to bed. I woke up again, my stomach was still bothering me went back in the bathroom. And the next time I woke up, I remembered I was on the bathroom floor. And there was blood everywhere. And then I woke up again. And I was in the bottom of my shower. I had fallen through the shower doors. And when I woke up on the bottom of the shower with the door laying on top of me John even know how that happens. I realized Oh, I must have passed out. So I threw the shower on and there was just blood everywhere. Tina, I cannot even explain to you the amounts of blood that poured out of my body. And so I threw the shower on to revive myself and wash this blood off. I wrapped myself in a towel. And I just want to say no one in my house woke up. No one. I mean, I fell through the doors. No one hurt me.
Nothing wrong with me they were some sound sleepers might be i i made my My middle child was in my bed and my bedroom and bathroom. Like it’s not big. It’s right there like I could, if I’m in bed, I could like reach my hand around into the bathroom. Like that’s how close it is. So I made it to the top of my steps. But I have a center hall colonial and I went to call out for my husband. And when I went to say his name, it came out in a whisper. And I was shocked. And I was like, Oh, what is happening?
That’s like a nightmare dream. And nightmare dream. 100 You know, when you’re trying to run away from somebody else’s dream or nightmare, and yes, and nothing comes out of your mouth. When when all what the only thing came out was a whisper. And I remember thinking like, oh my god, what is happening? Is this real. And so my oldest son heard me. And I said to him Go get Daddy.
And what I didn’t know was that I was blue. And that my face was cut up and bleeding. So I went and I just sat back in the bottom of the shower because I figured if I’m gonna keep bleeding at least let me keep bleeding in here. Now the thing that was really annoying me was this was January of 2005. I had just had that bathroom remodeled December of 2000 for the contractors left the day before Christmas Eve and all I kept thinking was this couldn’t happen before I remodeled this bathroom. How am I going to clean this up? How can I possibly clean up all this blood? This is disgusting. It’s totally a woman thing. Totally a woman. Right? Now I’m in the bottom of the shower and my husband comes upstairs and he’s like what?
And he was just standing authority looks at me. And now he starts screaming for my son to go get the cordless phone. And I’m like, Who are you calling? And he’s like I’m calling 911 Your blue light here. And then he’s like I’m calling your mother and my best friend because my best friend lives right near us. And I’m like, What do you hold them for? And he’s like, somebody’s got to come stay with these kids. You have to go to the hospital. And I’m all like I’m not going to the hospital and he’s like dead. Just calm down. me while I wasn’t upset. It was 911 comes. No one is listening to me. Tina, when I tell them where the blood is coming from.
Okay, they all assume I’m having like a vaginal hemorrhage and I’m not and they’re not listening to me. Which gi blood is very different than that kind of blood. But in the paramedics, they no one was listening to me. So now they get me together. And they have to take me out on a stretcher in front of my three babies and put me in the ambulance and I have to go to the hospital. By this point, my best friend is there. To stay with the kids, my mother was on her way. And now we go by ambulance to the hospital. And I am like near three hospitals. And I say to them, I don’t want to go to one certain hospital, I want to go to this specific hospital. And they say to me, you’re not going to make it. And I’m like, What do you mean, I’m not going to, of course, I’m going to make talking about making get me to that hospital. Or like, you’re not going to make it to there, we have to go here. So they took me to the middle middle hospital that I really didn’t have any feelings for.
They get me there, they bring me into the emergency department and they put me in a room. And if anyone’s ever been in, like the emergency department of a hospital, it’s not like a private room that you go to, but I was in this weird, private room. Okay. And doctors, nurses in and out, in and out. And so then after a little while being in there, the doctor comes back in and he says to me and my husband, we can’t monitor your heart in here. So we need to move you to a different section in the emergency department. They’re preparing a room in intensive care for you. After we monitor you and the room in intensive care is ready, you’ll be transported to intensive care. I sit up in bed, and I say, I’m not going to intensive care. I have to go home. We’re talking about I’ll be fine. I have to go home.
I just got this little problem, right? It’ll be all right. I don’t know why it’s happening to me, you know, you’re not going home, you’re going to intensive care. And I threw up all over my hair was really long. And I drove all over myself and my husband and I passed out. And now what my husband said happened was, I came back around, they got me out of bed and walked me out of the room. And I passed out in the doorway. He said when I passed down in the doorway, doctors, nurses, whoever was there, scooped me up, took me away, sent him to the waiting room. What I know happened was I threw up, I passed out and I was in like I was in the white light that you hear about when people say they’re dying. Yeah. So and I knew, I was like, Oh snap, I’m in the light. I didn’t have that hover over my body experience. I didn’t see my body at all. I was fully in the light. It was gorgeous. It was the most beautiful, loving, brightest, but warm light I had ever felt. And my cousin Laura who I called bud, who died in 1992. Now this was 2005. She died in 92 was behind my left shoulder. And I wish I just knew she was there. I turned my head and I saw her and I said oh 505 Let me hug you and I went to turn my body to the left to hug her.
And she immediately started to push on my left shoulder. And she just kept pushing and pushing and pushing on my shoulder. And I kept saying Stop it Stop it let me hug you but but let me hug you. And I kept trying to turn and she wouldn’t let me hug her until she pushed me so hard that I was sitting up in bed in the hospital and the nurse was like lay down. So then they bring my husband back and Laura instantly went from being in full physical form. Now I’m out of the light I’m back in my body in the room to energy form and she was like a little ball of energy. I say like Tinkerbell like a little ball of light. You know, I was flying everywhere and I could like Hoover’s over you. Yes. She was like she would fly past me and I could feel the whoosh of her like, whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, air energy everywhere, everywhere. And she was like scanning me and she was scanning all of the equipment and the monitors and everything. So they bring my husband back and I say to him, Chef, do you see or do you see Lara now? I am very high strong. My husband is very calm. My husband does not curse. I will curse like you know with the best of them. I will yell I will scream I will holler. My that is the Italian part.
It kind of is. I don’t know or the felly with my husband is very calm. He doesn’t curse. He doesn’t say like never says like a harsh word to me. Especially. He’s like shut the F stop it. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. And that is not him. Right. He’s like they’re going to get a straight jacket. Stop. cuz I am like literally like, Oh my God, look at her look at her look at her like freaking out you say you’re right. Don’t you see your Tina like I feel like it was so animated but I was literally on my deathbed. So how animated was it? Actually? Right? Yeah, yeah. So now they bring us up to intensive care and she’s there the whole time on the elevator around all the orderlies around the nurses, they bring me into the intensive care into my room and she rushes in. She’s everywhere, looking at everything, checking everything. And I’m like, Jeff, look at her. Look at her. Look at her.
What is she doing? She doesn’t know about any of this. Like she didn’t do anything medical in her life. She doesn’t know about this. He’s like, shut up, shut up, shut up. The nurses trying to talk to me. Doctor comes in doctors trying to talk to me. I don’t care what they’re saying. I only want to pay attention to what Laura is doing. Right? Yeah. So next thing you know, my father in law passed in 2000. And my brother in law passed in 91. We’re in the room, just my husband and I Mr. And I say to my husband, oh, your father and your brother are right there. Do you see your father and your brother and he’s like dead. You got to stop. Just stop. And my father in law and brother in law. Were sitting on my windowsill in full physical form. I got into the intensive care on a Saturday morning. And they didn’t know that I was going to be like completely fine until Wednesday evening. The three of them stayed with me. until Wednesday evening. Laura was always in energy for my father in law, brother in law were in fill full physical form. My father in law and brother in law, were there whenever my husband was there. Laura was there 24/7. And, you know,
like they were sent to to be there for you.
Absolutely. You know, they were holding my husband up and she was making sure I was okay. And I was so it just the whole reason that I hemorrhaged was I was taking an over the counter medication. For foot pain. I had heel spurs and plantar fasciitis. I don’t ever take anything teen it and I was in so much pain that I had to take this and I had been on a prescription like anti inflammatory and pain reliever and it was being recalled from the market. My podiatrist put me on this over the counter medicine and told me to take double the dose that that would equal the prescription strength and within two weeks of taking it regularly, I almost bled to death. I had four transfusions in less than 24 hours. So it was crazy. Um, so I assume that I told you the loss, right from the blah blah, right. So um, when I was there, you know, they had all this so much testing done. And one of the tests that they did was a colonoscopy. And that’s real fun prep on a on a bedpan in a hospital bed. Don’t anyone ever complain about getting your routine screenings, because at least you can do it in the luxury of your home, not flat on your back and a hospital bed with some saint of a nurse helping you? Okay, so at the time, I didn’t have any power ups or I didn’t have anything irregular. I had some diverticula on my colon, which we all get, especially as we age, at age 36. It was a little odd that I had as much diverticula as I did, but it’s not a big deal.
I like fibroids, then. Number five, it’s diverticula are just little pouches that form on your colon. If they get inflamed or infected, it’s called diverticulitis. Just the fact that we have them. It’s called diverticulosis, and we all end up with some of them. So I was so upset that this happened to me, right. And I’m like, I was so healthy. I worked out all the time. I was, you know, a spinning instructor. I was just starting at a new gym. How could this be? How can my body turn on me what was going on? And I was really bitter about it for a long time. And it took a year for me to really heal. And for me to really get I had lost so much blood, I was so anemic, I was so weak. And it really took almost a full year for me to get back to myself. But over that year, five women that were significant in my life died. And that was like I just kept getting like hit and hit and hit right. But five years later, after the hemorrhage, I had to have a repeat colonoscopy at age 41, which the average person does not have a colonoscopy routine colonoscopy until you’re 50 Unless you have some kind of issue. So at age 41, when I had the repeat colonoscopy, I have precancerous polyps on my colon. That would have stayed there that would have turned Cancer by the time I was 50. So ultimately that hemorrhage saved my life. It saved me from colon cancer. Yeah. Wow. Yeah.
I’VE GOT TO BEAT THIS TRAUMA IN MY LIFE! – It’s like It’s like that hidden one. Right? The. It’s like the uterus one. I think it’s very hidden hard to find it doesn’t show up as stage one or two usually
cervical cancers like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that hidden one. Yep. So that’s awesome. Kind of, right. So when once that five Mark hit that five year mark hit, and I, you know, found out that I had these precancerous polyps and they were removed. And then I started to see it as a gift. I always felt like getting to see Lara and my father and mom, brother in law was a gift, but not the experience. Right? And then I started to see the whole thing was really a gift. And it also, I have, you know, hid my I hate the word psychic. But I have hid those things about myself my whole life.
And they kind of were like, huh, can’t really hide in your saying, you saw us, you know, blah, blah, blah. And more and more, I started to really, I always paid attention to the way that I felt around people. You know, I always would tell my kids, if it feels creepy, it is creepy. Get out. But I started to realize how much I could sense energy in all things all around me all the time. And I and I realized, like, I have been doing that my whole life, but not being conscious that I was doing or feeling the things that I was if that made, right. Yeah. And then that led me years later down a path of, you know, I really didn’t talk about my near death experience. For a long time, I would tell people, you know, like, sometimes it’s like a cool party story. On the company, you know, I’m at people who knew it, they’re like, dead talk about that time, you know, tell them but I didn’t really like ever, like dive into it until years later, when I started to see a coach and Reiki master regularly, and I get started to get energy work regularly. And then that really started to open up and bring up all of my gifts and bring them to the forefront. And, and having to make a choice like, am I going to step into these? Or am I going to keep hiding these? Yeah, and use them and use them? Right? Mm hmm.
Well, we’re all supposed to have them.
We all have them. But some people don’t have a clue.
No, some people don’t have a clue. And some people just are not open to that. And that’s fine. Like, you know, whatever anyone feels comfortable with is fine. Um, but, you know, there are ways to I always, you know, the number one thing, you know, with, like intuition, you know, we call it like, your, like, your spidey sense, is, you know, we use it to let us know, the four seats in a situation or not, but it goes like beyond that, right. But that’s just like the general thing. But just like, you know, helping you to make decisions, you know, you hear that voice and that your inner voice. And, you know, I always thought that, you know, when people would say they connected to spirit, or they got messages, that it would sound things like, you know, like thunder crashing and then they would be like Jabra, ooh, this my child or something like that. Right?
I’VE GOT TO BEAT THIS TRAUMA IN MY LIFE!- When are you going to wake up? Yes. It is not like that. Like that voice is just steady and calm and quiet. It doesn’t fight back. So when you’re like trying to make a decision, and you know, you’re trying to tap into what feels right for you, or listen to that inner guidance, your ego is going to fight back or it’s going to give you pros and cons and everything else right? That inner self that that that higher knowing is just going to be like this is it this is it. Yeah, you know, like you’ve got to go between like you know, purple or orange and it’s gonna be like orange and you know that your ego is gonna be like purple it’s brighter it’s prettier but but but more people like great than orange you know, things like that. Yeah. And so just for you know, leaning into that little thing and that’s not a weird thing for people that right like, yeah, it doesn’t that kind of stuff doesn’t scare people. It’s the other stuff like oh my god, do you talk to dead people or things like that, that like freak people out and I should say like that Um, the biggest scariest person ever, like I don’t like anything scary.
So for Alonzo, obviously it’s not scary for you it’s well, it’s not now. But I, for the longest time I was scared to allow myself to learn modalities or are they even like talk about these things, because I was I don’t know, I was just scared that I was gonna like do something wrong, invoke something, whatever. Now I am surrounded and protected at all times in life. And you, you know, you make a deal with spirit like, you know, I don’t want to be contacted when I’m naked, when I’m taking a shower when I’m asleep, unless it’s going to save my kids lots leave me alone. You know, like some kind of urgent message. Other than that, wait until I have some clothes on. Wait until I’m not in the shower or my bedroom. And then we can talk.
Well, you set your boundaries set my boundaries. Absolutely.
So what do you think? When you’re you mentioned to me in the hospital room with your husband, you know, we talk about these important conversations.
So so we’re I’m in the hospital, and I’m dying, literally. And we had never, and I mean, never talked about what we want it if we were to die. And what’s taboo, it is my new buddy, right? Well, for us, it’s ridiculous that we didn’t because his brother died very young. He was 26. And my cousin died. She was 21. So they were you know, my brother in law was an illness. My cousin was an accident, again, blink of an eye whole life changes, right? So we knew things could happen to young people. And I have we had other young people in both of our families that it wasn’t like we didn’t know. Yeah, so and my husband and I have known each other basically our whole lives. So it’s really weird that for us, we didn’t talk about that. And so I think that what happens with people is that it’s not going to happen to you.
Exactly right. It kind of Yes, exactly. For both Yes. Yes. It’s not going to happen to you, you can’t ever imagine that it’s going to go down like this. So you know, I’m in the hospital bed. And now I say to him, Okay, we have to talk about if I die, and, and and what I want. And here’s my rules. I’m bossy Tina, um, and so and he does not want to talk about it. And he’s like, stop it, you’re not gonna die, you’re gonna be fine. It’s all gonna be fine. And I’m like, I just had four transfusions. And I see dead people right now, I think we should talk about God forbid if this goes the wrong way right now. Right? He was really resistant. And I was like, Alright, to just shut up and listen to what I have to say. And so then I told him what my wishes were. And then I gave him room. And, you know, he’s like cracking up the whole time
didn’t was he didn’t want to be buried.
I’VE GOT TO BEAT THIS TRAUMA IN MY LIFE! – I didn’t want to be buried. I wanted to be cremated My in laws. My husband’s grandfather, who I adored, I knew in my whole life had purchased like, like, an enormous amount of plots for their entire family to be together. I didn’t want to be their teen, I don’t want to I don’t I don’t want to be in the ground. I want to what does he say? And he was like, what? And I’m like, I want to be cremated. And we have a bar in our living room. And I’m like, so put my ashes on the bar. Because from that point, you could see my front door, and I could see anyone that would come in and out of my house, right? I’m like, you can get married, of course, so young. Here’s the list of people you can never marry or date. He’s like, Oh my god, are you kidding? Right now? And I’m like, I’m not kidding. And then, um, and I was like, you know, don’t one of my big things was don’t take anything the kids say for face value. I you know, because I can always feel that they were leaving something out or what if the same more or you know, a student ever take what they’re saying that face value.
Pay attention when they’re telling you something important? Or maybe you might not think it’s important, but it is. And don’t you let any don’t dare ever let them call somebody else mommy. They could love somebody that you marry, but she’s not the real mom. I am. Don’t let them call her mommy. They mean ever. They could pick a different name. And he’s like, All right, okay, I can’t marry this list. Put you on the bar. cremate it. Nobody’s. They’re never gonna call anybody, Mommy. And I’m like, yes. So then I also teen it financially. I did all the bills and all the banking and he didn’t know No anything. And his paycheck was actually like an actual paycheck, not direct deposit.
So then I said to him, you know, this is, you know, the account to put your paycheck. And this is where the checkbook is. And back then, like, everything wasn’t automated, like it is now. So for us back then like my, our mortgage, and like insurances were automated, but no utilities or credit cards or anything axes, right. And I’m like, you have to, like, pay this. This is and I’m giving them like the list of when everything’s doing, like, write it down. And he’s like writing it down. And I could tell like, he’s not paying attention. And so I was home from the hospital, maybe about three months, and I like have a little bit more energy and I start to go through this pile of mail. And all the utilities were getting shut off. Oh, I just assumed that he was taking care of it as I recovered.
Yeah. And I said to him, You came home from work, and I’m like, everything’s getting shut off. Like you didn’t pay anything. What would you have done? If I die? He said, I would have just let them shut it off and started new startup fresh, new accounts. I’m like, That’s ridiculous. Ridiculous. So would it be right? I wouldn’t have been there. So whatever he would have to figure it out. But, um, my sister would have helped them but still, you know, there are conversations that need to be had that you don’t think about.
Yes, because you’re living your usual life. Getting the kids ready for school and what parties next and what dinner? Yep. And to my going to, and, oh, I forgot I have to go to that hockey game. I can hardly wait for Friday night. And, and nobody’s ever having that taboo subject. Discussion?
No. And it’s so important to have it even to know like, Okay, say, God forbid, you do die? Do you want your organs donated or not donate it? Right. You know, what do you want for your final arrangements? Is there something specifically that you don’t want? That you’re right, right.
Even to girlfriends and wives down to who can marry next Tina, right. You know, and it’s really important to have those conversations, no matter what age you are, like, if you haven’t had them yet have them? Yeah, you know,
and I even say, you know, there was used to be a thing where you would take your kids, they would check your car seat in the car, they would do your fingerprinting of the child, you could attach some hair to it in case they ever went missing. You know, all of these things we’ve really left by the side. Mm hmm. We’re not, we’re somehow thinking that’s not going to happen. So, you know, let’s just worry about the dress I’m going to wear Friday night.
Right? Right. So I have my major in college was criminal justice. And I was a probation and parole officer when I graduated from college for six years. So I was always very safety conscious. So things like that. I was always on top of and had plans for, like, you know, when your kids are really little, like they don’t know their address yet. Like they’re too little to notice things right? Or, you know, their phone number, anything like that. So, everybody thought I was crazy. But this is what I did. You know, when you go to like Petsmart or Petsmart there or? Okay, and you could get the little you know, dog tags made for your pet? Yeah, I had their name with our phone number on it. And then my name under it. So anytime we went somewhere. They had that on on and you couldn’t see it. It was like under their you know, like tucked in there shirt. Yeah, I had that on. We went to Disney. They had that on we went to an amusement park. They had that on. Anytime we went big places like that. Then my kids had stuff like that on that nobody knew.
Oh, that’s cool. That’s a great tip. Mm hmm. So what do you so you would think people should have these conversations?
Absolutely. But even with sisters, brothers and parents, absolutely like it, you know, because there’s family like families get, you know, have opinions on things or you know, everybody thinks, oh my gosh, right. Or they think they know like what you are they think that they should have Say in what you do, right? If you have that conversation, and then you have it all written out, you need to honor that, you know, whether you agree with someone’s arrangements or not, how can you? I don’t know, I just feel like you always need to honor whatever somebody wants to do, especially in regards it specially in regards to like, their last two the remains, you know,
it’s like, even if they get sick, even if they get sick, that’s something else that people don’t want to talk about. And, you know, I, of course, was never expecting to have that happen to me. Um, and even just like, child care why was in the hospital, right? Or, you know, how who’s going to take care of, and God bless my mother and sister and my sister actually lived out of town and came home to help but you know, who was going to take care of these kids? And, you know, the pets and pets, and, and, and your plants? Like everything, your home, your car, all of it? Like, who’s going to handle these things? Who’s the point person? Because there has to be one?
Well, it’s if you don’t have those conversations, families usually fight over. Absolutely. who’s doing what?
who’s doing what? Absolutely.
Yeah. Especially those big Italian families.
Especially, while everyone thinks that like their way is, you know, the best way and they may or may not have valid reasons, so just find out what people want. And it was way less of a headache.
Yeah, it’s like if you had that conversation with your mom say, right, when she’s perfectly fine. And then next year, she’s had a major stroke, and you have to put her into a home. Well, if you haven’t had those conversations, and how do you know what she wants?
Exactly. So my dad died in December of 2018. He literally dropped that Tina, like out of the blue, he just died. And I always knew that when he died, that’s how he would die. Because my whole life, he always said, you know, you hear about somebody going to sleep and they just don’t wake up. That’s the way to go. That’s the way to go. And it really is all planned. He did. And so he died. But we didn’t know anything. We didn’t know. And my parents were divorced for a long time. Like we didn’t know, did he have insurance that he not have insurance? Was there going to be money to bury him not we knew that he would want to be buried. And we knew that he would want like a big, big turnout, big, big showy things. Like we knew that that’s how he was, that’s what he would want. He would want the whole viewing. And then he would want the big man, you know, big Catholic mess and a big party afterwards. Those things we knew, but money wise, like we didn’t know. And then we didn’t know like, did he want? What did he want us to do with all of his stuff? Right now? Like, did he want things donate it? Not? Did he want any of us to have certain things specific thing? It was just like, it was crazy. So, you know, I we did have conversations with our mother after that. And then, um, you know, I told my husband like, we need to get this like ironed out with your mom, too. Now. Yeah.
When you’re talking about your dad, when you haven’t had those conversations with them, and you don’t know what they wanted. But you also don’t know if there’s account since sitting somewhere that have money in them? Well, in
our case, there really wasn’t. But yes, you might not know that, right?
You don’t know. You don’t really don’t know. And you and they’re sitting unclaimed for years and maybe forever. Same as life insurance policies. Absolutely. Absolutely. And they’re, they’re important things that you you need to know about. And you need to know where those things are. And it’s really funny, because the one thing that we didn’t know, was there was this again, cemetery plot. There was this like family cemetery plot and my dad’s family. And so my dad always knew when he died, so ever since him and my mom weren’t together anymore, where he was going to go. And he had like a little lockbox and the deed was in there. And then I was just known like that, then I was to Pat after he passes to take that deed and to give it to, you know, a new who to give it to next because there would be one more spot. But other than that, we had like no clue. And we didn’t know how we were going to pay for and luckily, there was enough insurance to to, you know, to care of it. But we were like, Oh my God, how do we find out and then having to go through papers? And luckily, he kept really good records. So we were able to find things. But some people don’t know No clue and things go missed, you know? Yeah.
Especially when you move, especially for when you get older. Yeah, I forget to her. Yes. Yeah, yes. Mm hmm. And so she
had a situation where with his car and his car insurance, and my dad was, he was he paid cash a lot for things, right. And I needed to take his car and get and get rid of the car. And I was like, I need to cancel the insurance now. He paid his agent in cash. And they never paid the policy. The policy was not paid. So thankfully, I reported the agent. But thankfully, he never was in an accident. Because here he was thinking he was covered. And he wasn’t. Yeah.
Especially if he had died in the car. Exactly. When that had been a pretty picture. Oh, thankfully. Didn’t even have to deal with any of that.
Wow. I guess they don’t have cash sort of transactions anymore. I don’t think,
Well, this was just in 2018. He literally went to the office and pay the agent in cash.
Why? Wow. So you don’t even know. I mean, literally for people. And in in America, you in Canada, we’re giving up document? Mm hmm.
I’VE GOT TO BEAT THIS TRAUMA IN MY LIFE! – And we saw it. Yeah. And he had a document and all this. And then I call the insurance company to cancel the policy. And they’re like, there’s this is not in effect. It was a whole that’s a whole another thing. That’s fraud. Tina, neck all got reported in. Wow. But that was taken care of right.
Yeah, cuz you don’t know what you’re going to come across?
You don’t know? You don’t?
So do you guys have these conversations much easier now?
Why husband? And I definitely do. And then also with my siblings. Yes, absolutely. Yeah. Because
sometimes, you know, we don’t even have those discussions with our parents. Right? And, and then it’s the same problem, because you’re going to be stuck having to hold the bag.
So what do you think, um, tell us a little bit about your book that you wrote.
So my book is, is this job, my jam the guide for grownups who still don’t know what they want to be? I don’t even know which way to turn it. There you go. Yep. So my book is so much fun. And it’s so helpful and informative. And in it, I, I go through how to make a decision how to find a job that is your jam. And I take readers through my signature program, it’s called inch. And, you know, using the four different letters, which is for identify NS for non negotiable C’s for change, and H is for hallelujah, which is really celebrate, but the you know, use that H to make the acronym work. And I take my readers through how to make a decision. You know, people come to me all the time, you know, I am a certified life coach, and my clients will come to me, they’re in some form of transition, you know, either re entering the workforce after these kids are grown, and now they want to go back and do something or they fit in the workforce, and they want to make a change.
Or, you know, they’ve gone through divorce, and they have to go back to work now, and they don’t know what they want to do. They don’t want to go back to whatever they were doing prior. And, you know, I help them go through and really identify what is it that lights you up? What is it that you know, would make your life easier, better, more manageable? And sometimes what we find is, I find this a lot with people who you know, Oh, I hate my job. I hate my job. My boss is a jerk, blah, blah, blah. They’re all you know, they want to change their jobs so desperately. But when it comes down to it, they just want to do the same thing somewhere else. And that’s fine, right? They when they Whittle all the things away? It’s not the actual work. That’s the issue, right? It’s wranglings. It’s their attitudes mindset. It’s others it’s other things and getting to the bottom of those things. And you know, for some people changing a job that’s just never gonna happen, right. It’s like a luxury that just cannot happen for some people. But finding other things that light you up finding other things that are your jam, like focusing on your hobbies and really carving time For yourself, and, you know, practicing some self care is so important. And women especially let that go right away.
Well, yeah, because you, you do your, you become non important to yourself.
Exactly. And so we need to all realize that we are all our own jam. And we need to nurture and take care of ourselves. You know, even if it’s as little as five minutes a day that you spent focusing on yourself years ago, I decided that I was going to meditate every day, I had been meditating for years and years, but I never made it a habit. But I knew that whenever I did it semi regularly, I felt different. I felt better, but I just couldn’t make it a habit that would stick. So I decided that I was going to make this a habit that would stick even if I only would meditate for one minute a day. So I let myself off the hook. Right? I let go of, you know, I always joke that I’m a recovering people pleaser and perfectionist and procrastinator. So I made it really easy on myself, I just have to do this for one minute, every day, I could do anything for a minute. Yeah. And I have meditated every single solitary day since April 6 2017.
nd that’s the way that I’ve been able to be successful at it. So when I work with people, whether it’s trying to find a job, that’s their jam or relationship, that’s their jam, or whatever the issue is that they’re coming to me for, whether it’s for energy clearing, or coaching, or both. I like to make things as simple as possible. Take it down to like, the easiest steps so that you get you build your confidence, right by getting an immediate win, and then stack them and then stack them. It doesn’t mean you’re not going to have setbacks. Of course you are, but you’re better able to handle them. You know that confidence increases when you start to keep those promises to yourself. And when I met started to meditate every day, and I gave myself a year, let me see what could happen to my life in a year if I could keep this promise to myself. And my life blossomed in ways that I could have never imagined. And it ultimately led me to leaving my nine to five job starting my business, writing a book, having a podcast, you know, things that I I never had them on my radar, I always wanted to write a book. But the other things like they were not on my radar to do and I and all naturally fed into those. It flowed, it totally floats. And I was in flow.
Because I think there’s a lot of people out there that think that they can’t do something else, and they hate what they’re doing. But in fact, you could actually do it on the side, maybe there’s something there was a contract or or you could make candles or T shirts or whatever it is that absolutely, it doesn’t have to be your main gig, right?
It can be something on the side. And also, it could be something that you don’t even make money from just something that you enjoy doing. So I you know, in the book I talk about and I always work on this with my clients is you need to try things, you need to try several things. Um, I used to own a retail business, I used to own a card and gift shop. And I cannot tell you the amount of people that would come in and say to me, Oh, I would love to have a store like this, oh, I love to have a business like this, Tina, I just wanted to hand it over to them because I hated it. But I would say to them, Come shadow me for the day and see if this is something that you really want, and then I’ll sell you my business. But I always offered people the opportunity to shadow me. And that’s something that you can do if there’s something that you’re thinking that you would like to try, go shadow someone who’s doing it or, you know, go and volunteer your time or do an internship. Or see if you can take that person that you know is doing what you want that you think you want to do. Ask them to coffee or Zoom meeting or whatever it is, yeah, let’s start to try things before you just jump in and make this huge life decision.
It’s amazing when you think back of the horrible, horrible experience that you had line in the hospital room, where it’s just evolved for you into yourself as well as helping others because you’ve sort of seem to have realigned yourself with your purpose.
Absolutely. So after I after that experience that near death experience and then within a few years later, we bought this retail business and it was such a financial. It was it was a decision Esther in every way it that almost killed me more than the hemorrhage dead. It was like killing me physically, mentally, spiritually in every way. It was too much. And I knew it going in. And my intuition kept saying to me, she’s lying, the old owner who I was buying the business from, she’s lying. She’s lying. She’s lying. But I kept saying, whatever, it’s all good, it’s all good. It’s all good. You know? And then my intuition will be like, no, no, no, and it was just slow and straight, it was very steady. And at that point, I didn’t know the difference between that and like, my ego getting in the way. And then my ego just kept fighting back, but we have to do it, we’re going to do it, we’re going to try it. My, my husband really wanted this. I didn’t, I wanted to do it for him. Um, and my, my, my, you know, my higher self, my intuition was really trying to protect me and telling me no, don’t do this. Went into it. It was a complete disaster.
But it also gave me a confidence in myself that I didn’t have before. And it really showed me, I can do anything. I always have jobs. Throughout my life. I’ve always had jobs that I never knew what I was doing that I had no experience in the field, someone was like, you will be good at this. Here’s money. I’m like, alright, I’ll do it. And then I would be like this star worker, right? Yeah, go into this business. And I don’t have any business background, which is not a good thing. If you’re going into business, you need to know something about business. You don’t want to get a bookkeeper or somebody to tell you what to do. Or something. Something Right. Um, so I had worked retail, like one summer in my life as a teenager, I’m like, I could I could sell, right, I could sell anything, if I’m passionate about something I could sell it. And so I’m like, alright, I’ll do it whatever, incur hundreds of 1000s of dollars worth of debt, because we didn’t stay in it. There was a lease, we were in the store, you know, we assume the lease, which is part of purchasing the business. And I knew that lease was going to end. And when that lease was up, I was like, we’re out.
And we’re gonna take this hit. But we got to do it. Because my husband and I were literally, we were dying from exhaustion. Yeah, and not being able to do the stress or life stress exhaustion. I went from being home all the time seeing my kids all the time to never seeing them working 12 to 16 hours a days, like seven days a week, mostly, you know, sometimes I would have off on a Wednesday, I worked almost every night and weekend, you know, from all of 2011 1213 and half of 14 was horrible. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Now and laugh. And when I got out, you know what I said that my husband was we can always make money. We can never buy back time. We’re never getting this time back. We have to get out.
And take the stress back. It’s it’s yes. been embedded in you. Absolutely. So what kind of I mean, I hate to go because I’m having so much fun. But what would you like to tell the listeners,
I would say you really can do anything that you want to do. It’s just being able to be brave enough to try. So take baby steps inch your way to what you want to do. Don’t try to do it all at once you’re going to get overwhelmed, you’re going to get stressed out and then you’re going to quit. dip your toes in. I always joke like, Do the hokey pokey with the right foot and you could take it back out, put it back in and just try ensure way little by little and small, consistent aligned actions. Equal massive results.
I think so. I think consistency, that passion. Mm hmm.
Well, passion. Need right, like passion can feed. So if you start to build those habits, that you keep taking action, you just keep moving forward. Keep moving forward, then you can’t miss. Yeah, I don’t look at anything as a failure. Like I’m like either, and Nelson Mandela says it and I’m gonna mess this quote up please forgive me. It’s like, either I got a lesson or I learned I mean, I like a laugh or lesson something like that. Like nothing is a failure. You’re gonna learn something along the way. And hopefully a laugh or two. Yes, yes.
Oh, that’s beautiful. Thank you so very much. Thank you. Well, you guys can you believe this? I am sure We could talk about this for a few hours. We’ll have to have Deborah back again after maybe she’s got a little bit more information of her clients maybe or, you know, like, there’s so many other stories that you’re going to come across that we would probably love, all love to hear. Your story has been amazing, amazing story and inspirational, motivational, you know, taking something that can flip you upside down and put you to dry, really, you know, amazing. Thank you so very much for bringing that to our listeners. That was beautiful. Thank you for the opportunity.
Oh, you’re welcome. I my quote, and I always mess it up, too. Is Mike Tyson always has a famous quote that he says, everyone has a plan until you get punched in the mouth. And I don’t know, it is true. And I really don’t know how many people even think they have a plan because they don’t. You know, like I say to people, do you have a backup plan? Yes, I have my will and my power of attorney. That’s not a plan. Sorry. That’s not enough. It’s like this little bit of the plan. Like you, you didn’t even talk about that. You were talking about what things you wanted, and measure that the person’s going to do those things. And, yeah, and so it makes it so much nicer if you don’t have to have those conversations at that present moment.
When When emotions are high and adequate people, right, that stability, you need that strength, you need that love to come in to help each other out whoever that is. That’s with you. Yeah, it’s it’s amazing. I talk about being present. And that’s definitely being present. Yes. Yeah. So thank you. Thank you for all those great tips and tricks that you had up your sleeve today. So, thank you guys. I’m going to bring out my hand because you need to subscribe. Subscribe and ring that bell ring that bell. Ring that bell down below. Right there. Everybody knows that 70. So you can get notified of our upcoming videos.
Absolutely. When you are thinking about someone special that’s close to you right now. And you haven’t talked to them. Please pick up that phone. We still have phones, text, FaceTime message, zoom, whatever it is. Tell them how much you love and care about them today. Because you don’t know what tomorrow will bring. So stay tuned for our next podcasts and live streams. We have great conversations with some of the most interesting and accomplished people in the world today. Look at Deborah. I think you’ll be entertained and formed and I hope that we’ve inspired and motivated you guys to start thinking about your unique plan.
No one is Superman. So expect the unexpected. Thank you again to all our listeners. We are in our second season. Thank you so very much. I appreciate each and every one of you. We were on all podcast platforms, YouTube, Instagram, LinkedIn, Twitter, Tik Tok, and Facebook. We also have a VIP Facebook group for those with your backup plan app. So thank you for sharing. With each and every one. If you have been listening to the show today, you are here for a reason. So please like, share and subscribe to it. I always end our show with Carol Burnett because she was the most beautiful person in the whole wide world. I know Deborah knows who Carol Burnett is of course. I’m so glad we had this time together just to have a laugh or sing a song seems we just get started. And before you know it comes a time we have to say so long. So long, my friends so long to all of our listeners. Thank you so much again Deborah, thank you for coming on our show today. Be kind stay safe expected the unexpected. Bye guys. Bye.
Thank you we all love You Guys!
Free PDF: https://www.deborahatella.com/about-5
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“Sometimes a little near death experience helps them put things into perspective”, Anne Shropshire
Our interview with Fred today will show you a few different perspectives on it changed his life! Let’s do this Fred! Let’s talk about Fred’s journey into darkness and a beautiful experience with the other side! Stay tuned
YOUR BACKUP PLAN TRIBE!
Welcome. Welcome to today’s awesome, awesome podcast show about ah, this is this is crazy, where Fred has actually died probably more than 20 times. And I’m so excited to hear his wonderful journey of that he’s going to be able to express with us.
If you are new here. Welcome to TALKING TABOO WITH TINA brought on brought to you by YOUR BACKUP PLAN.
As you saw in our commercial, we focus on real raw conversations with our listeners about the guests journey from a life changing event in their life. So what is YOUR BACKUP PLAN APP?
YOUR BACKUP PLAN APP puts your life all into one place in case of any unpredictable circumstance while taking that painful aftermath out of that tragedy. What does that mean?
Well, one thing you can count on is that, you know, we’re all going to die. Yeah, we’re going to get sick or disabled, or we’re going to have a wildfire or we’re going to have that tornado or hurricane or flood. Wow, those floods are so common right now, we are going to be hit by COVID and either come out okay, or be stuck in the hospital somewhere, or possibly have some rep ramifications from that. So what a best bet that couldn’t be a better time to discuss this issue that we all have that we all experience. And we all know someone who has had something happen. And something will we just don’t know when of course.
So our famous quote from Mike Tyson, as I talk about in every show, is everyone has a plan until we’re punched in the mouth. And we’re preparing now to launch for the emerging blueprint program. And that will bring you deeper into the why, what and how to create your own DIY plan with your app on your side. So it’s a complete library of videos, interviews and worksheets that will help guide you through the process. So I’m really really excited about that upcoming launch. And yet really, really looking forward to getting that pushed out to everybody to help you understand what you need, why you need it, help you with some worksheets, have family conversations.
And so let’s get party started. My name is Tina Ginn. I am an Emergency preparedness coach, Best Selling Author of in the blink of an eye. Yes, things happen in your life, just like this. IN THE BLINK OF AN EYE.
That’s how fast things happen. I always talk about if we had a five minute evacuation notice you are blessed to be given that in your life. Because most of us are not given five minutes to prepare for anything. I’m also an app developer of your backup plan hat app right here in beautiful Vancouver, British Columbia. And I’d like to welcome if you are brand new to our channel Super happy to have you here with us today. Those of you who are repeat our beautiful repeat visitors. Thank you for listening. Thank you for subscribing to our channel. If you haven’t already, like, share and subscribe because I’m going to get my handout here. And that is down here at the bottom somewhere where you have to press the subscribe button to our YouTube channel and follow us and share it with those because if you have found us you have found us for a reason. And believe me, there’s going to be lots of good good, great information and every one of our shows for you. I’d like to welcome the United States and Canada the two top listeners of our show of course, and our German and Ireland’s listeners. Thank you so much for our German listeners from around the world. I welcome each and every one of you. So today, our special guest is Fred. And Fred joins us from beautiful Toronto, Canada.
Welcome to our show. Fred. I’m so excited to get our party started. Hi, Fred.
CLINICALLY DEAD A DOZEN TIMES
Hi, Tina. Thank you for having me.
Oh, you’re welcome. I’m so excited to have a synopsis of your story. Fred comes to us from beautiful Toronto, Canada. That’s on the east coast of North America. He is an aspiring author. He’s working on a book currently called the summer I died 20 times volume one. He is a recovering from all of this trauma that he’s had in his life. He’s a motivational speaker. He helps people inform people inspire people about his journey that he has had. And I’m really excited and having Fred on our show, to talk about his real raw conversations that we’re going to have today. Thank you for coming on, Fred.
My pleasure. You make me sound so impressive.
You are impressive. You are thank you your story. Everybody has a story. And hopefully, you know, you’re able to reach out to those others. Maybe others have experienced something similar, but they’re not really understanding it or, or what really happened. So I’m very excited to hear how your journey started.
CLINICALLY DEAD A DOZEN TIMES. Well, my journey actually started at birth, believe it or not, that’s not meant to be a joke. I have what they believe, I believe they sorry, I’m getting a little tongue tied. They believe I had a stroke just before just after birth. And it wasn’t diagnosed till I was in my mid 30s. So I had all these things going on that, you know, back in the 70s. Nobody paid any attention to. So I was I’ve had a challenging life, right from the beginning. And then I had concussions from playing sports, rugby, and hockey and football, and all those things that sort of compounded those issues. But the real craziness got started in summer of 2009. And that’s when I started what they thought was just passing out randomly. So I would be walking down the street and then boom, I’d be unconscious. And I probably went to the hospital 15 times. It took over four months before they diagnosed me correctly.
And in keeping with the theme of the show, there’s just no way to prepare for an event like that, like your your life is just so disrupted. But you also find out who your friends are. Yes, you know, the people that that step up. But as we talked before, I used to be a financial planner. And it’s easy to make plans to say there’s going to be this money coming in. But there’s nobody that I know of that’s ever made the plans to say, Okay, you’re going to pay this bill, and you’re going to take care of this and you’re going to take care of that, which is simply what your app is designed to do. I think that’s a fantastic, fantastic idea.
No, thank you. So and you only notice that when something occurs in your life like that right? To understand. Absolutely.
Absolutely. So during this four months in the summer of 2009 what we eventually found found out was, I have something called a full AV block, atrial ventricular block, which is the electrical system of your heart that tells your atria and your ventricle visual display there. Yeah, how, how to beat. And if the signal from those two centers or those two chambers gets interrupted, you’ll have either arrhythmias or in my case, your heart stops completely. And when your heart stops completely, your blood pressure goes to zero. And, you know, whatever position you’re in, you become dead, is that more of a stroke or a heart attack than Fred? It’s actually neither. It’s strokes and heart attacks often come from blockages.
This is a pure electrical, Something blew the fuse and nothing’s going to conduct anymore. And, and that’s what happened to me. So eventually happened to me at least 20 times that we know of, there’s probably times it happened when I was asleep and didn’t realize this, it happened to me because I kept recovering. Even today, they have no idea why this happened to me, when I ended up on a cardiac ward. I was like, by far the youngest person on the ward. And a couple of reasons this happened was doctors saw a fat white male. So they just assumed it was a heart attack. And they kept testing me to prove it was a heart attack and not looking for anything else. And they kept ignoring the fact that I had cracked my head on whatever was the hardest thing in the vicinity of where I collapsed. So you know, commercial countertops and washroom, curbs, street grates anything. So I had all this brain damage from falling question questions. And plus from not getting oxygen to my brain. And this is layered on top of damage to my brain from when I was a child and teenager playing sports. So yeah, nobody can plan for this kind of combination of events?
Did did you have more than one memory of going back to the five D world of of dying, so to speak? Did you have multitude of those visions or one big vision?
CLINICALLY DEAD A DOZEN TIMES. One, one big vision. And I actually feel kind of ripped off. Because if you have read or seen a number of these near death experiences, that people come with these lovely visions of, you know, come to the light and the warmth, and you see old friends and, and stuff like that. And I got none of that. It’s like so unfair. You think, you know, one out of the 20 or one out of the 40? Would like, you know, shouting? Yeah. It was nothing. What? Or maybe it happened. I just don’t remember that part of it. What’s what’s more distinct for me? Is the coming back to life Park, and which has been the most awful experience I’ve ever had in my life, which, yes, it’s a little contrarian, right? It’s the greatest thing that’s happened to you. But it’s also the worst thing that’s happened to you. Because if I hadn’t gone through that experience, we wouldn’t be here talking. So you remember going into it. Not through it. But you remember coming back out of it is that yes. So I had these events. Yeah. How far into it? Did you go?
Pleat blackness, okay.
So I physically what I felt was what I now call a brain quake, so that I now know that after my heart stopped and the blood drains out of your brain, I felt like my brain was shaking. Like my brain. It was an isolated earthquake. And then your vision narrows and then you’re gone. And, you know, that’s happened to be lying down. It’s happened to me walking. It’s happened to me on the operating table. So, and that’s, but it doesn’t take you any further than the blog. weakness.
No. Which maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe it’s a bad thing. But I wish it had taken me somewhere to give me some comparable experiences. I don’t know if you know Sam Kinison the late comedian. He had a crazy story he used to be maybe a Baptist minister or something like that, who became a comedian. And he he died in a car crash and witnesses there said he was having a conversation while he was dying. And it looked like he was actually talking to God to outsiders, so, so I nothing like that. You don’t remember anyways?
Yeah, that I don’t remember. And hey, I’ve got brain damage. So who knows? Yeah, so the, what I remember very distinctly was coming back to life. And it was like, I was buried. And in the ground kind of visual.
CLINICALLY DEAD A DOZEN TIMES. Under something. Yeah, I’m not sure. But I certainly couldn’t breathe. And then I started seeing like, fireworks. But fireworks doesn’t really describe it as intensity as it was just, you know, explosions everywhere. And I would feel every explosion, like it was physically painful. And loud. And this went on for I don’t know, how long because I was kind of dead. Yeah. And yeah, it was is so, so uncomfortable. I wouldn’t wish this experience on anybody. But that was, you know, I can imagine if you’re drowning, drowning, and you’re, you’re struggling for breath, of something of that scenario, and all these other things going on. Like to you so painful. So if I had gone to heaven, I’m guessing I was getting rejected pretty forcefully. That’s, I don’t know how.
Yeah, you feel like you’re getting shot back by explosions.
Yeah, sorry, kid. You must be this tall to get on the ride. And you’re not tall enough right now?
Yeah. Get out of here. You’re done. Yeah.
So they eventually figured out what was wrong with with me and that my heart was failing. And they, they gave me a pacemaker. But it, it was a fight to get that I had somebody, a close friend of the family, tell me over the phone, what was going wrong with me. And the doctors here in this particular hospital, wouldn’t even talk to this person. And they, they just ignored him. And because they ignored him. I had probably five or six more of these episodes while I was in the hospital. So they didn’t. When you don’t understand your own situation, it’s really hard to put together everything happening. Yeah. So even after they told me I had diagnosed going to have the surgery. I really didn’t understand what was going on. Because I was so battered by that point.
And you can’t really explain this to other people. Because they they just have no concept when you when you have a brain injury, or any of the non visible injuries. People have a really hard time conceptualizing what’s going on in your mind. So I knew I was slurring my words. I knew I was forgetting a lot of words. I went, I’m Jewish. And so we do our three prayers daily. When I went to do my evening prayers, I realized I could no longer read Hebrew. My brain had been battered so much, it kicked an entire language out of my head. So that’s, yeah, it still hasn’t fully come back. It’s probably about 80% of what it was. But, you know, your brain is resilient, but it needs help to be resilient. So and it’s just sort of by fluke that one of the main tools that I’ve used, wasn’t introduced to me, and we talked about it A little bit before but intermittent fasting.
CLINICALLY DEAD A DOZEN TIMES. There’s so many things it does for your body besides helping you lose weight.
Yes, and the keto diet, which is mainly the MCT oil that your brain actually needs. I think it should be pushed more to help survivors as well as people going through brain issues because it extremely helpful.
The Omega threes are becoming more and more identifiable as such a benefit. I don’t know if you’ve heard Dr. Rhonda Patrick, she’s got an amazing podcast. It’s too long, though. It’s like three, three and a half hours, very high level science. But she recently had on a researcher who said, a huge percentage of the people who died from COVID were very low in omega three fatty acids. Now it’s interesting correlation. Yeah. So the same with Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s and those people. So you’re right, most people should have more, we really have to, we’d have to eat like half a whale a week to get everything you need. So they’re working really hard on trying to find artificial ways to create the Omega threes. Because the fish don’t produce their own omega threes. It’s the planktons and things that they eat, which produce the Omega threes, which get into the fish systems.
And whales need it to survive Absolutely. healthy, healthy wise, did. So, when you were at the hospital, you don’t remember when you came out of it to what degree of movement you went back to, because you don’t remember how far you went to in depth. You only know from what the doctor told, you know, up?
Well, I remember everything, the doctors really didn’t tell me anything. Because they were, they were just focused on either proving I had a heart attack. Or once they figured out that wasn’t happening, and it was the electrical issue. All they cared about was fixing the electrical issue. So you know, one of the challenges in our medical system is doctors don’t like to be taught back to, and they believe their God. So maybe I did see God, or a number of gods who didn’t want to listen to anybody. Yeah. So it was, it was terrible. But I know when I was leaving the hospital, a couple of the nurses came up to me. And he said, You know, it’s amazing, you’re alive. You scared the shit out of us. Scared the shit out of you just scared the shit out of myself.
That’s amazing. Isn’t that when they when they think how many times that these actually save someone? That yeah, they must. Yeah, or don’t? Yeah. Must be crazy.
They they should have given me a temporary pacemaker. And they deem that too risky. And they told me, we’ll be fine. We have the the electrical panels, you know, that you see on TV all the time clear. That wouldn’t have saved me because I needed a continuous signal not a jolt. So. And there was a couple times I woke up in the hospital to wake up seeing them about to hit me with the paddles. Oh, my goodness. It was That’s a scary thought in itself.
It is. But again, it was a good sign that that I was not dead anymore. So I should remember the I think we had an ECG strip of at least three and a half minutes where my heart stopped, which is pretty substantial, you know, certainly qualifies for clinically dead.
Absolutely. And it’s just too bad that you don’t have the experience of talking with anybody in those three minutes.
Well, maybe I was and and maybe me doing things like this podcast and writing my book where the instructions I was given. From that time, I can’t remember. You know, this is your purpose in life. You have to go out there and tell people that they have to learn to advocate for themselves more strongly in the hospital, and ask for second opinions and third opinions because nobody knows your body as well as you do. And if you tell somebody that and they’re not listening to you, you have to find somebody else to listen. So maybe that was my conversation. Mm hmm.
Because it’s very, it’s in ground in your head now. So it’s probably was Do you have a vision yourself of what it would be like? Passing through or trying to pass through?
Um, yes. And I can’t say that I died. But I absolutely was taken. At one point, when I was falling off to sleep points. And I had a lady was standing talking to someone. It looked like another female because she had a long dress on.
I don’t do that doesn’t mean anything.
CLINICALLY DEAD A DOZEN TIMES. Yeah, I guess I don’t, I didn’t recognize her. But the lady that was there with her back turned to me, when I came up to it was all like, she looked like she had one of those bonnets on her head. And she had a long flowy dress, I don’t know what era that would have come out of, you know, but that’s what I saw, with a big bow at the back, and a big bonnet at the top. And she was it was all white. And she even had gloves on her hand. And she reached out for mine. And she took me on this path. And we actually skipped I mean, it sounds crazy. But we skipped was wonderful. It was it was like if you were gonna die, it was like, there was like a meadow on each side. And we skip through this pathway. And, and it was like, she was taking me somewhere. Like, I felt like it was in Wizard of Oz or something. And remembering to it was I couldn’t have made it up for what I saw. Because I don’t have that kind of brain to to visualize that kind of thing. So yeah, it was beautiful. And we we skip down this pathway like kids. And him she was so nice and, and very healing, it was like an angel but not in an angel costume, you know. So that that’s my only experience that I’ve had that I can relate to what it would feel like so coming from a an Orthodox Jewish perspective.
We we don’t generally believe the, I get a disclaimer check with your local orthodox rabbi. To confirm these things, angels perform missions in general. And Raphael is the angel of healing. But we don’t believe the whole wing things and the halos and, and stuff like that they can appear to us as whatever they need to appear as. So you know, you could be an angel, for all I know, actually, I think the work you’re doing you probably are. So
I think they would call it a heel work or something as such, and possibly what you’ve been probably told to do is to go get your words of wisdom out there.
Yeah, I don’t doubt that. We have a lot of ancient texts that talk about heaven. And you know, a lot of it really revolves around you get to sit at throne of God. Well, he or a lot of the great rabbis from these goodbye, teach classes. We don’t get a lot of the, you know, you get whatever you want and float around on clouds and eat cream cheese, and if you remember those little commercials, so it’s a different perspective. It’s a less, I guess, are more utilitarian. This is a practical thing that happens to you. And the more pious you are, the closer you get to sit to God. And the less pious you know, you’ll be up in the standing room only, I guess.
Yeah, true. Just not in hell. I guess you’re just in the standing room part.
Yeah. According to our teachings, we make it very hard for for people to qualify to be in hell. or whatever, however you define help. Yeah. And we believe that after you die, the soul departs the body. And then it spends depending on the person, six to 12 months going through sort of a spiritual carwash. And I’m sure there’s a few people that don’t even make it through the carwash, but because they’re just so unbelievably horrid, but for the most of us, I think we, we easily get into, into heaven.
CLINICALLY DEAD A DOZEN TIMES. I think it’s a cleansing part of the process. It’s my understanding of up the next stage of your life, basically. So you don’t it’s funny how you don’t remember any people talking to you, or it’s strange, I think. I really think that we all have the capability of listening to whoever’s talking to us, but we’re not always. We’re not always present. To hear it. We hear it unconsciously. But it’s the conscious level that remembers, like, it’s the brain part. So possibly, you had it all, it’s just the conscious level you didn’t, you didn’t hear we we have another tradition that I find interesting is that before you’re born, an angel comes into the womb, and teaches you the entire Old Testament, and everything that goes along with it. And just before you’re about to be born, he gives you a little on the top of the list, and it hammers it into your subconscious or your unconscious. So you come out knowing all this stuff, but you need to learn have to learn how to access it. And the not sure what the right word is. If you ever see people when they’re really, really deep in thought, they’re often like playing on their upper lip is if they’re, you know, trying to press the button that will give them the access to that hidden knowledge.
So I don’t know how true this is or not, but it’s an interesting concept.
Especially when it looks at what happened to you, I think would also layers on this, for me, is having that stroke when I was born. I, I know I do have memory problems and other things that are manifested by stroke victims, and I have almost no visual memory, which creates its own set of problems. So even people I know very closely, I can see them walking towards me on the street, and I won’t recognize them. And till they speak, or I hear a fact about them or something like that. So that I don’t have these memories isn’t that surprising. But it’s still I do feel a little bit ripped off that I don’t have these memories to, to share with people. Because well, this sharing
guide you Yeah, and to help guide you, right? For sure. And they’re probably in there, but with your other issues that you have, it’s just not available to you.
Or it’s not available yet or I’m finding other ways to, to find to communicate my story and to help work with people. Things like that. So that was that was round one 2009 How much time do you have?
We have another half an hour I guess of so you have another at least 10 times of this, don’t you?
Yeah, so I can’t go through all of them individually, but I can go through the major sessions. So 2013 I was riding my bike, and I was having a really good bike ride because I bike riding was a huge part of my recovery exercise is very good for the brain. And then all of a sudden, I was having another one of these brain quakes and woke up on the ground in the middle of nowhere at this park. And I thought naively that this was you know, Just possibly, maybe some over exercising heatstroke. But then the pattern kept repeating, I was going through what I had gone through in 2009. And I ended up in the hospital a number of times, they couldn’t figure out what it was. And then finally, they figured out that one of the leads, the wires that go from the pacemaker to your heart had cracked. So it kept shorting out. And I was going through the same thing again, my heart kept stopping. And, and I was dead again. So my friend, Deanna calls me repeatedly dead, Fred, I wouldn’t have said that, I would have said, You’re a miracle, Fred.
CLINICALLY DEAD A DOZEN TIMES. Yeah, that that happened after this hospital surgery, as well, the stuff called me the walking miracle. So they decided they had to replace the pacemaker. And they put me in surgery, and I didn’t realize that you’re, now they do this while you’re awake. They give you like locals and cut you open and everything. And I had severe anxiety going at night, I’d never have anxiety. And as they were cutting me open I started to have a brain quake. And I know I said, Oh, fuck, I’m gone. And then I flatlined on the table. And, again, I feel ripped off because I didn’t have that experience. But I got have the whole experience of of the crazy operating room scenario. And they ended up aborting the surgery. But they had to give me a temporary pacemaker, which they do through the groin. Now they do it for the wrist, I believe. But they didn’t have time to give me any antiseptic or anesthetic. So that was a very unpleasant experience getting spirit in the groin like that.
Oh, dear. I know when you faint, which I’ve done a multitude of times, I’m fainting, I would have thought would have been very similar to that. But fainting doesn’t feel very good when you go to faint. But when you come out of it, it’s beautiful. Feels like the best sleep that you’ve ever had. Except when you wake up and you hear all the commotion, and all the people surrounding you looking at you, are you there? Are you there, you know, wake up, wake up, it’s just too busy and too frantic. And the noise seems explicitly loud, like, like, you’re, you’re sensitive to the noise, when you wake up to it, it sounds louder than it actually is. In your head.
Yeah, you become hyper aware, because your body has all these wonderful mechanisms that are there to protect you. So it doesn’t know what’s going on around you. But it’s trying to, to shock you into being aware in case there’s other dangers that you have to know maybe there’s a brontosaurus about to eat, or something like that. So it makes you hyper aware to help you recover more quickly.
Yeah, that part scary, cuz it’s very loud. Yeah, then, of course, people are only trying to be helpful, but when they’re overtop of you, everything looks bigger and louder and more of when you when you wake up with something like that. So I can imagine what it was like in a cold operation room with a whole bunch of people in it.
Well, I forgot in the moment that when you go in for the surgery, they put these I call them pacing pads. So it’s electrical conductor, they put one on your chest or your ribs and one on your back in case something like this happens, and you really don’t think about how these things work until you experience them working. So when I because it’s shocking you that’s what it’s literally doing. It’s giving you a shock if you’ve ever had a you know, a small shock, you know, it’s not the most pleasant thing in the world. No, and I I sort of gained some awareness and then I was like, wow, what’s going on? Like, is somebody kicking me in the ribs like what’s going on here? And somebody said shut up. We’re trying to save your life. Yeah, the the bedside manner there was a little bit lacking And then it took me a while to realize that it was these pacing pads that were hitting me like every three quarters of a second to, to make my heartbeat.
CLINICALLY DEAD A DOZEN TIMES. So even though they aborted the surgery and put in the temporary pacemaker, again, maybe that was my version of heaven. Yeah, to a degree, the constant shocks, I, then I still had to have my pacemaker replaced. So, but they couldn’t do it quickly, because I might have had an infection from when they put in the temporary pacemaker. So I was put on complete bed rest for a week, until they were sure I didn’t have an infection. I literally couldn’t move. Like it was. It was just an incredible experience. So and then we went for the replacement surgery. And I had a very stern meeting with the surgeons saying, you know, we’re not going to do this the same way, we’re not going to do that. And bla bla bla bla bla. And then when they tried to do the surgery, they found they didn’t have room to insert the new pacemaker lead. And so I kept passing out on the table, I’m guessing from exhaustion. And I’d wake up and they were on like, video conference calls with surgeons around the world, like how do we, how do we fix this like, and these surgeons at this hospital, they were, you know, world class at what they do. If they’re asking for help. That’s that’s not a good situation. But I guess my guys what’s going on here? I blurred out and we’re like, we’re trying to see life.
Not what you want to hear. You want to get oh, it’s it’s all fine. It’s all good.
Yeah. So eventually, they figured out how to how to get another pacemaker lead in, and they went to replace the old pacemaker. And they’ve ordered a different pacemaker size. So pacemakers are pretty tiny, like old pocket watches. And they go in a little pocket. And the one they ordered was too big for the pocket that the first pacemaker had been in. So they literally have to, like stick their hand and like, jam it in the space. Yeah. It’s just so bizarre. So maybe this was my help. I don’t know. It’s, is it good now? Um, no, no. I asked how much time do you have? So that that worked for a while.
And you said, you miraculously came through COVID. So yeah, that was that was this here. I got hammered really hard for about 10 days. I was so sick, I didn’t realize how sick I was. And, upon reflection, I probably should have been in the hospital. But I wasn’t. But I ran into one of the cardiac doctors, the hospital. And he’s the one who introduced intermittent fasting to his cardiac team. And I had a quick conversation with him and he said, If I hadn’t been doing intermittent fasting for the last three years, I probably would have died from the COVID. The fasting had so wrapped up my immune system and all these other functions of my body to prepare me for battle. And
that’s interesting comment.
I’m a moderator in a fasting group. I know this is a little off topic. And there’s probably about 350,000 members and the lady who runs the group, her name is Jin Stevens, New York Times bestseller. And just the information we know now about what happens when you fast and how it affects your body positively. It’s just mind boggling.
what your body can do, isn’t it? Yeah. And yes, it is a miracle.
The the doctor that I ran into said intermittent fasting is The best non medicinal tool we have in our bags these days, probably ever. So if you want to have another conversation about intermittent fasting, do that some other time?
Well, it’s helped you and that’s the main thing. Right? So. So we’re what would you say to people now then if you know what you’ve gone through to, with your journey to others,
I think the word unexpected doesn’t begin to cover it. You don’t plan for something like that, that’s for sure.
Yeah, I, the doctors told me I was like, a one in a billion event. And I had four of these one and a billion events. So you know, who’s gonna plan for something like that? I think we really need to have tough conversations with our families, and peer groups, about how we want things handled, or how they can help. If something like this happens, then granted, I’m at the really extreme end of things. But, but not necessarily like your friend who had COVID, who was in the hospital that you mentioned, perfectly healthy guy, and went into the hospital and was in a coma for almost six months. And he also saw a woman in a long flowing dress. So I know, I had lucid dreams and hallucinations when I had my COVID boat. And he saw a woman appear out of o’clock on his wall, or so he thinks because and that she would have conversations with him.
CLINICALLY DEAD A DOZEN TIMES. So And what was his issue? Do you know, by any chance? Like was it lungs? Was it capacity of breathing? Pneumonia?
Actually, I’ve never asked him, but I’m guessing that’s why because he was on a ventilator, he was on a trach tube.
But six months, that’s a long time to have someone pay your bills and know where everything is, if you don’t know.
And, and his family also has some significant business interests. But he was the main guy. Nobody else in the family knew where to start with with picking things up.
Yeah, that makes it super difficult. And I don’t want that for anybody. And that’s why, you know, your backup plan app helps people get that better prepared. Because you don’t expect something and you’ve been single. That has a big ramification to it as well, because who knows where all of your stuff is who has an extra key to your apartment or your house? And who knows where the garage key is? And the shed key? And do you have cats or dogs? Or what medical, if not all of us have our medical at one doctor or at one hospital. So that is also issues because you might be visiting somewhere else, and they don’t have access to your medical history.
So you have seven doctors?
That’s a lot. That’s a lot. Yeah.
So and, you know, they don’t talk to each other unless I really force the issue. You know, they’ll they’ll share notes. But really, doctors would spend their entire lives just reading other doctors notes. They don’t look at them until they think they need to. Which is one of the reasons we have big gaps in our medical system.
But where were you worried about your stuff, so to speak? Were you worried that you know, maybe you had a little bit organized but because it’s these life changing events that make us realize that something different could happen to the end result?
Well, I really downsized my life. After 2009 I got rid of a lot of stuff and you know, living in small apartments and things like that. So, as I mentioned to you before, my brother is a lawyer, so, you know, he’s quite aware of a lot of this stuff that has to be done. He took that over from my parents now for my mom, my sister’s a nurse, so you know, she’s my go to person on my my medical stuff. But I have no family here, but I am blessed with an incredible set of friends and community that can step in by You know, getting into the finer details of your life. Even knowing your own life, you never know all the finer details, and there’s always something that’s going to be overlooked. So I think something like your app that can help consolidate everything, and you have an assessable. Yeah, the 35,000 foot view. And, you know, start taking it down more towards ground level, that’d be a tremendous asset to anybody.
Well, and I, I always say, because you had mentioned about your friend who had COVID, in a coma for six months, and, you know, I feel so bad because it doesn’t have to be that difficult. If you were organized beforehand, it there’s nothing difficult about the process. It’s just people need to do it. And that’s the issue. So do you know what happened in the end, like, because his wife would have had to look after everything, and not knowing where anything is, is the problem. And I know, a single people, it’s a big issue as well. Because you don’t always want to relay all these details to someone. And it’s nice to have it in a secret place, just in case you need to pull it out of your back pocket.
Well, I’ve had some long conversations with, with my family, about my situation. And, you know, because of this all happened to me, and I haven’t worked for 12 years now, which were your, you know, supposedly your prime earning years, you know, my assets have certainly taken a hit. So my situation isn’t that complicated beyond, you know, where do I want to be buried? Yeah, at this point, because you have arrests looked after. But having the financial background that’s absolutely helped you with your family as well to having a lawyer and a nurse, to, to uncomplicate matters, but and then I was I was a financial planner for a number of years.
CLINICALLY DEAD A DOZEN TIMES. So it was my father, now have an MBA in finance. So I have a pretty good understanding of how most of these systems work. But, you know, the average person doesn’t know. And your every situation, of course, is different to and who knows what the family’s going to do and fight about, you know, there’s, I had an Italian family who was seven. And they had talked about the single brother who had gone in a coma as well in the hospital, and everyone was fighting about who was going to do what? Imagine, like, just as simple as that. Fighting over, how do you get into his apartment? Where are his accounts to pay? Who’s gonna look after that? Who’s, you know, who’s gonna do all these different things? It’s a lot of burden on the friends and family.
Absolutely. And I think especially in our current times, when, when people are more polarized than normal, you know, whether it be because of social media or whatever. I think the infighting is is going to be even worse than it has been. Because people are just primed to fight about anything right now.
Yes. Not sure why. outrage. I think Joe Rogan, the podcaster comedian, he called it they’re in a state of recreational outrage, like being outraged as their hobby.
Like the new mommy. Yeah.
It’s terrible. But that’s, yeah, that’s what’s going on.
Exactly. Well, I’m sure I’m gonna have you on again, because there’s so much more to talk about 10, especially when she get your book up and running. That will be really, really interesting. To hear how you put that together, it’d be. It’d be lovely. If you could come back. For that love to. I think I’m going to end up doing a Kickstarter for that. So
that’d be nice. I will link your information that you want me to hand out down below for any listeners that want to find out where you are at how to contact you. I will put that in the description box below as well.
Did you have any final Yeah, down somewhere there. Did you have any final notes for our listeners for what you wanted to leave them with?
Attitude is is everything. It’s our superpower. that we don’t access often enough. And if you only look at the downsides of things, it’s going to keep pulling you down. And when you go through a traumatic incident, I know it’s easy to get down on yourself, especially if you’ve had a traumatic brain injury. And that depression can sit in. But for the most part, we do control our thoughts. And if you think happy, it’s going to make a world of difference for you.
Oh, that’s beautiful. That’s it brings back my memory of I did a little scary Halloween skit last night. And I was trying to be scary, a scary witch. And it only lasted for a few seconds, because I was. I found it so funny after when it all came out. So attitude is everything. Because I found that I couldn’t be scary for very long.
Yeah, it’s hard to go against your nature. Yeah, it is. Except I find myself laughing at the end. So maybe it will help other people laugh too, as well. So it’s all good, right?
Yeah. And an early Happy Halloween.
Yes, everybody. Happy Halloween. And it’ll be Christmas before the podcast is out. Tim, it’ll be Christmas time before we know it. And that that’s just going to be here upon us before we realize that I think it seems like everything goes fast in COVID. Doesn’t it seems like everything is super fast.
I think again, it’s like when your experience when you started to wake up from the faint. COVID has made us hyper focus on our lives. Some in good ways, and some are not so good ways. But we’ve were so insulated from everything else that it just seems. We’re just moving very, very quickly.
Yeah, it does. Well, thank you, Fred.
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Because no one is Superman, even though we think we are so expect the unexpected. Thank you again, to all our listeners. We are now into our successful second season. And I want to thank each and every one of you for subscribing and following our channel. We are on all podcast platforms. We are on Youtube, Instagram, LinkedIn, Twitter, and Tik Tok and Facebook as well. And we do have a Facebook group for our VIP members so that you get notified and can talk amongst yourselves in our Facebook group about your journey as well. Thank you for sharing your time with us. And I love each and every one of you and Fred doesn’t know it but I always share Carol Burnett song at our end of our show. I know you know who Carol Burnett is Fred because Carol Burnett was laughter and enjoyment for all of us and I feel it during this time. It’s substantial. And I’m so glad we had this time together just to have a laugh or sing a song seems we just get started and before you know it comes a time. We have to say so long. So So long, everybody I be kind stay safe. Wash your hands, wear a mask, whatever you have to do to get through this, this pandemic that we’re stuck in here. It appears that it’s not ending too soon. So thank you, Fred, also for coming on our show today. It was a true delight to have you.
My pleasure. Thanks for having me. You’re welcome.
Thanks for everybody listening, or watching and stay happy.
Yes, that’s for sure. Stay happy, stay safe and be kind. Thank you everybody till the next show. Bye for now. Bye
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