How to Listen with Your Heart is an interview with Dr Clare Bidenharn about listening is an Art!
“Your heart knows things that your mind can’t explain”, Unknown
“The most useful asset of a person is not a head full of knowledge but a heart full of love, with ears open to listen, and hands willing to help”, Unknown
Dr Clare, mentions “I recognize the need of emergency preparation. The Saturday before Katrina hit the Gulf Coast of the United States, I was at an an emergency preparedness meeting for Encore. It’s not a Methodist Church. Committee on relief, and we left early because they said, oh, it looks like this hurricane is going , and it’s going to be pretty strong.”
But I worked with. Families and clergy and come immediately after we were in Jackson, MS and still we were without power for a couple of weeks and come. I will work with families who were staying at the shelters, and you know, that was before. Everybody had laptops and they had left all their information on their computers. It’s all to be to be gone.
It’s all to be to be. Gone to be gone to be gone and then to watch him at these little computers that were set up by the Red Cross trying to reconstruct their lives. You know without their passwords. And sometimes we can’t even remember our own passwords. Let alone try and figure out what other persons are. That’s right, you know. The other thing is interesting, so I’m I am a widow. My husband died in 2018 and I was married to 1 cool Dude, but and he had been sick for a while and you know, I kind of thought I was ready. But man, look at most. I was in a fight. I feel like I’m just coming out of my fog but I remember immediately after just step like the life insurance policies are the pension money and now thank God I was around people who advised me well because. I couldn’t really make. I thought I had my stuff together, but I didn’t and I really could have made some mistakes if I hadn’t had such good help. Well, there’s one thing also about. Being prepared and thinking that you are prepared, but my big point of everything is if you have it prepared, do you understand it?
So that’s where I’ve created the new program, which is the Emerging Blueprint to go with the app so that it helps you understand what it is you have. To start with, because maybe you need to make an alteration to it, and isn’t that empowering and give strength to the person. Whether you’re a woman or a man to be able to go into that financial advisor or that department and say. I think that this isn’t what I need. I need to have this. I want to have this instead.
How to listen with your Heart, You know, that’s one thing like in this listening model, but I taught let me find my book just happen to have my book with me, yes. But, and I guess I can do it without all of the little pieces of paper, but uhm.
We talk about the importance of listening, but also the importance of questions and I think to that I just completed a class and it’s called question formulation technique QFT that I took through Harvard. But Harvard class. It was. I figured it was the cheapest way I would ever get go to Harvard. The Graduate School of Education, but they were talking about the empowerment of. Having the right question and having the not only the skill, but you know as you get the skill link in your confidence and originally we started. This method was started in to teach school children, but then they figured out that the parents needed it because so many times parents will go to Teacher conferences.
And not even know what to ask. So I think too, as you say, that to have an understanding of what you have is really important and also having the courage to speak up and ask the questions questions. Right because?
Exactly and you only get the courage by the knowledge. Yes, yes. Because you feel like you’re backed by the knowledge, so maybe you have too much life insurance. Maybe you don’t have enough life insurance. Maybe your life insurance is ending. Maybe you don’t want it to end, maybe you have other plans for it, like there’s so many questions, but it all boils down to what kind of house policy do I have? What kind of travel insurance do I want? What kind of?
Preparation for anything, anything well, and I was a critical care chaplain for many years, and then I worked with Kentucky organ donation affiliates. Coda as family support. And designated requestor for organ donation. And so many times and variety. I’m sure. I’m sure you’ve come across this too so many times, whether it’s man or woman, wife or husband, spouse or you know. However you all are. Uh, one person can rinse the show knows everything. Yeah no. I’ve heard some Mayo she’d never even had to pay a bill ’cause dad took care of it all. Well, that might have been nice for most of your life, but here you are widow, and now what you gonna do at where do you know where the paperwork is, right? Well passwords, or that you know. All that you know, our dad, dad never. Had to do anything well. You got it. Yeah, I mean. I mean. Going forward to be helpless. How to listen with your Heart makes sense.
No, no, especially I find with younger women pushing a baby buggy and I’ll say what’s your backup plan and then say Oh my husband has it all looked after. Uhm, no, no he doesn’t. I can tell you that right now because everybody just boards. They just all fly by the seat of their pants, so don’t let it.
What an interview that covered so many issues, storms in life with Dr Clare. You really won’t want to miss it, to learn how to really listen with your heart! It will make a huge difference in your life! I can guarantee that!!
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Look at the End Game so you can live your Best Life, your beliefs, your wishes, your passions, your career and your relationships! When Your Mind + Body + Soul are aligned things will magically appear for you without difficulties!
“And then it happens………….. one day you wake up and you’re in this place. You’re in this place where everything feels right. Your heart is calm. Your soul is lit. Your thoughts are positive. Your vision is clear. You’re at peace, at peace with where you’ve been, at peace with what you’ve been through and at peace with where you’re headed.” Unknown
“You can’t go back and change the beginning. But you can start where you are and change the ending”!”, Unknown
Our interview with Terry Tucker, started off with incredible vision of hope to the end of tips and tricks from the best! He has come full circle to help heal others and to help you move towards your best life. Whatever that looks like. Terry Tucker is the founder of www.motivationalcheck.com and an Author of Sustainable Excellence. Everything you need to know from Terry is in this fantastic book! Look at the End Game was a start of this whole vision!
Look at the End Game was so useful in so many ways. So in 2012, I was a high school basketball coach in Texas, I had a callous break open on the bottom of my foot, right below my third toe. I didn’t think a lot of it initially because, as I said, being a coach, you’re on your feet a lot. And after a few weeks when it didn’t heal, I went to a podiatrist, a foot doctor friend of mine, and he did the basic stuff. We’ll give you some padding for your shoes and things like that. When that didn’t work, he took an X-ray and he said, I think you’ve got a little sit in there and I can cut it out. And he did, and he showed it to me. It was a little gelatin sack with some white fat in it. Nothing to be concerned about. No dark spot now, blood, nothing like that. But he sent it off to pathology just to make sure.
Well, two weeks later, I get a call from him. And as I said, he was a friend of mine, and the more difficulty as he was talking, the more scared I became until he finally just laid it on the line. He said, Terry, I’ve been practicing for 25 years as a foot specialist and I’ve never seen this form of cancer. I think you should go to MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston and be treated there. So, I did. I went to MD Anderson. I had two surgeries, 1 to remove the tumor on the bottom of my foot, the other to remove all the lymph nodes in my groin. And when I healed, I was put on a weekly injection of a drug called Interferon. No interference for me was a horrible, nasty, debilitating drug. And I took these weekly injections for almost five years before the medicine became so toxic to my body tonight that ended up in the intensive care unit with a fever of 108 degrees.
So I’ve always been a big fan of Western movies, kind of Cowboys and Indians here, and my parents used to let me stay up late to watch Gun Smoke or Wild Wild West and stuff like that.
A successful lawman’s plans to retire anonymously in Tombstone, Arizona are disrupted by the kind of outlaws he was famous for eliminating.
But in 1993, the movie Tombstone came out and you may have seen it. Kurt Russell played a guy by the name of Wyatt Earp, and Val Kilmer played a man by the name John Doc Holiday. Now Wyatt Earp, Doc Holliday were two living, breathing human beings that actually walked on the face of the Earth. They were not made up characters for the movie. And in the very end of the movie, Doc, they called him Doc because he was a dentist by trade, but he was pretty much a card shark and a gunslinger. And Wyatt had been a law man his entire life. So these two men from entirely different backgrounds had formed this great friendship. But at this point in the movie, Doc is dying in the Sanitarium in Glenwood Springs, Colorado. And the real Doc Holiday did die at that Sanitarium. It’s about three hours from our house. And Wyatt, at this point in his life, is destitute. He has no money, he has no job. He has no prospects for a job.
So he comes every day to play cards with Doc just to pass the time. And the two men are talking about what they want out of life. And Doc says, you know, when I was younger, I was in love with my cousin, but she joined a convent over the affair. But she’s all that I ever wanted. And he looks at what he says, What about you? What do you want and why? It says, I just want to lead a normal life. And Doc looks at him and says, There’s no normal. There’s just life.
Get on with living yours. And I think that’s a story I like to end with, because we’re all kind of waiting for that. If this happens, then I’ll do this. Or if that happens, I’ll do that. Don’t wait. There’s no normal life. There’s just life. The life that you have now. And use that life. Find your purpose. Live your purpose. Because when you get to the end of your life like I am, you’re gonna be a whole lot happier than if you didn’t find it, that’s for sure.
And tell us about your book. The book is called Sustainable Excellence to 10 Principles, The Leading Your Uncommon and Extraordinary Life.
It’s a book that was born out of two stories. I already told you about my former teammate. Another one was a young College student who connected with me on LinkedIn and said one of the things I need to know to not only be successful in business or my job, but in life in general. And I didn’t want to give them get up early, work hard, help others. Those aren’t important. They are, but they’ve been done. And so I spent some time writing some notes, and eventually.
Look at the End Game was a start to all of these 10 principles. I had these 10 principles, and so I sent them to them. And then I stepped back, and I was like, you know, I’ve got a life story that emulates that principle. I know somebody’s life who emulates that principle. So literally, between the time I was diagnosed, I was heading to surgery to remove my leg. And the time I started chemotherapy for the tumors. And my lunch is about three months. I sat down at the computer and I took those 10 Principles, and I just built stories underneath them.
And then I had this book, and I was all excited about it. I’ve got to sell books and stuff like that. And I had somebody tell me that. Now, Terry, you wrote this book to help people. So your job is to help people, not to sell books. If you help people, your books will sell themselves. So I’m so glad he told me that, and kind of hit me in the face with it. And I wrote the book to make a difference, not to get famous, not to get rich. And so really, now it’s all about can people use that book to make their life better? And I had an 87 year old man by the book read it and get in touch with me. And he said, you know, if I would have had these principles when I was younger, I would have had a much better life.
I thought, well, maybe the book’s going to do people some good. Absolutely. How can it not?
I love this final note from Terry Tucker above, but I couldn’t just end on that note. Here’s another great note from Terry. And that one you just asked me about what you leave behind is what you leave in the hearts of others.
“I always ask people to kind of think about the end game.” Look at the End Game. What are people going to say about you at your funeral now? What is your legacy in life going to be? What would your ancestors say about the life that you have lived? And if you’re in your twenties or thirties or wherever you are? If you think about the end game, if you think about your own death and you don’t like the answers to those questions, I don’t like what people are going to say. He’s a jerk. Well, you know what? You’ve got time now to make changes in your life to improve your life. And I’m not saying you should live for other people. I don’t think you should. I think you kind of have to live the life that you were born to live. Beautiful Terry! Thank you for your interview!
Dating after a loss is difficult to say the least. To be positive and upbeat with the new person, or just not sure how much to open up with a new love in your life. How do you start the process of staying positive, mysterious and at the same time open up to your past??
“Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you.” Joey Adams
This journey of this path to love is our interview with Jonathan Aslay, America’s leading Mid-Life Dating and Relationship Coach. His tips and tricks to understanding the sacredness of your sorrow, to expressing yourself in a manner that will be positive and uplifting to a new relationship.
His first secret tip, is to have and practice Self Love.
“The very process of dating reveals the most common emotional health issue faced by many singles seeking a partner: a distressing lack of self-worth, self-regard, and self-love.” https://www.jonathonaslay.com/midlifelove/
“In fact, once I realized how widespread and vitally important this issue is, I began incorporating that focus into my individual coaching practice, then wrote an entire book on the topic—“What the Heck is Self-Love Anyway?”—a #1 Amazon best-seller packed with fun, engaging spiritual and personal growth practices.” https://www.jonathonaslay.com/midlifelove/
Self-Love the Book: http://www.selflovethebook.com
What is Self Love?
According to Wikipedia, Self-love, defined as “love of self” or “regard for one’s own happiness or advantage”, has been conceptualized both as a basic human necessity and as a moral flaw, akin to vanity and selfishness, synonymous with amour propre, conceitedness, egotism, narcissism, et al. However, throughout the centuries self-love has adopted a more positive connotation through pride parades, Self Respect Movement, self-love protests, the hippie era, the New Age feminist movement as well as the increase in mental health awareness that promotes self-love as intrinsic to self-help and support groups working to prevent substance abuse and suicide. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-love
“Before a person is able to practice it, first we need to understand what it means.” https://www.bbrfoundation.org/blog/self-love-and-what-it-means
“Self-love is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth. Self-love means having a high regard for your own well-being and happiness. Self-love means taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please others. Self-love means not settling for less than you deserve.
Self-love can mean something different for each person because we all have many different ways to take care of ourselves. Figuring out what self-love looks like for you as an individual is an important part of your mental health.” https://www.bbrfoundation.org/blog/self-love-and-what-it-means
According to BBRF Foundation:
What does self-love mean to you?
“For starters, it can mean:
- Talking to and about yourself with love
- Prioritizing yourself
- Giving yourself a break from self-judgement
- Trusting yourself
- Being true to yourself
- Being nice to yourself
- Setting healthy boundaries
- Forgiving yourself when you aren’t being true or nice to yourself
For many people, self-love is another way to say self-care. To practice self-care, we often need to go back to the basics and
- Listen to our bodies
- Take breaks from work and move/stretch.
- Put the phone down and connect to yourself or others, or do something creative.
- Eating healthily, but sometimes indulge in your favorite foods.
Self-love means accepting yourself as you are in this very moment for everything that you are. It means accepting your emotions for what they are and putting your physical, emotional and mental well-being first.
How and Why to Practice Self Love
“So now we know that self-love motivates you to make healthy choices in life. When you hold yourself in high esteem, you’re more likely to choose things that nurture your well-being and serve you well. These things may be in the form of eating healthy, exercising or having healthy relationships.
Ways to practice self-love include:
- Becoming mindful. People who have more self-love tend to know what they think, feel, and want.
- Taking actions based on need rather than want. By staying focused on what you need, you turn away from automatic behavior patterns that get you into trouble, keep you stuck in the past, and lessen self-love.
- Practicing good self-care. You will love yourself more when you take better care of your basic needs. People high in self-love nourish themselves daily through healthy activities, like sound nutrition, exercise, proper sleep, intimacy and healthy social interactions.
- Making room for healthy habits. Start truly caring for yourself by mirroring that in what you eat, how you exercise, and what you spend time doing. Do stuff, not to “get it done” or because you “have to,” but because you care about you.” https://www.bbrfoundation.org/blog/self-love-and-what-it-means
Thank you Jonathan Aslay for your wisdom, bravery and courage to discussing a very difficult topic but at the same time making it understandable for both Women and Men looking for Love.
FREE Discovery Call with Jonathon► https://jonathonaslay.com/coaching
Join My VIP Group for $7– https://jonathonaslay.com/midlifelove
How Men Choose Their SoulMate (FREE Gift) https://www.jonathonaslay.com/gift/
Self-Love the Book: http://www.selflovethebook.com
The “What Would Love Do?” Podcast https://www.jonathonaslay.com/categor…
Recommended Books https://www.jonathonaslay.com/jonatho…