BEING PRESENT WITH THE DYING
Being present with the Dying, is an understanding of being in the moment, in the now to embrace assisting your loved ones move forward into the next step.
“He said, “”There are only two days in the year that nothing can be done. One is called yesterday and the other is called tomorrow, so today is the right day to love, believe, do and mostly live””, Dalai Lama
And we have a very special guest today, Linda Bryce, and she comes to us from beautiful, beautiful Massachusetts, United States. So let me tell you about all the other fun things that we talk about here on our podcast. We focus on real and raw conversations with our listeners, about their journey from a life changing event in their life.
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Let’s get back to talking about our subject today. All right, Talking TABOO with Tina podcast listeners. I’m so excited for our special guest today.
Her name is Linda Bryce, and I’m going to bring her on today from beautiful Massachusetts. And hello to all of those out there in viewing land. Yes, this is not the truth. It is a viewing land. So thank you for Massachusetts for joining us today. Linda. I’m just gonna give a brief introduction for our listeners. So Linda is an amazing, amazing person. She is a former attorney and our artist, a university faculty. She is a death doula and a bed sight singer. She Let’s see here. While might she says while my experience is vast and colorful, it has led to hundreds of bedsides and the passionate work I do now to serve the dying and those who love them. And I’m so excited today, Linda, because I talk about being present to people, our listeners all the time. Because you can never get that time back again. Once it’s gone, it’s gone.
So we need to be really considerate about those times those precious moments that we are given by the universe to spend that special time with others, the ones that we love and care about so much. And I know that you have quite the story if it’s brought you to where you are today. So maybe you could start off with where did it all start for you, Linda.
I’ve always been about music. And what came into my head immediately was the lyric from an I don’t know whose song it is.
But it’s been a long and winding road. My oldest daughter turns 39 in a couple of months. And when she was beginning to walk, I remember walking into a nursing home and asking, Do you have anyone here who gets no visitors? We would like to visit like Where’d that come from?
Although I was raised more by my grandparents than my parents, for lots of reasons. And so I spent my growing up years around old folks. You know, one of one of the exercises, I, I suggest to people is that just because my experience and sort of my tendency, if you will, is to spend time with elders who are sick or dying, that you may be drawn to a different group of people, maybe for children, no.
So, um, the years go by, I’m a lawyer, I’m working in health law, I worked on legislation for nursing home, to change the conditions, or change the standards.
As a college student, I helped the local medical school create a local neighborhood health clinic, you know, and, and I, even myself, I didn’t begin to piece all these things together. But a number of months ago, I was taking a walk with someone who was new to me, we’re getting used to each other. And she says, so what have you done in health, Linda? Meaning before when I do now, and I started seeing this thread, and there’s, I’m sure there are threads in each of our lives and each of your lives, threads that when you when you begin to pay attention, and look back, it’s like, oh, yeah, you know, this happened. Oh, yes. That happened. And, and then, and then where I lived at the time, and my children were growing up. I worked with two other churches, there were, there were three churches on three corners. And representatives from each of the church, this came together.
And we created a an adult care center. So for families who had a person who needed who could, who could use some socialization outside of the home and give the caregiver a break. Right. And then we put together the funding for it and the staffing and all like that. So it’s like, okay, so fast forward, though, to what brings me to where I am now is then six years ago, my husband died. And, of course, I was I was there, you know, in his last hospital day, and however long that unfolded, and, and it would have been helpful to have your backup plan. This is the messiness, folks when you don’t get it together ahead of time, there is a saying that I’ve read about and heard about. It’s always too soon. until it’s too late. Right? We always have excuses.
Oh, it’s too soon. It’s too soon. I’m healthy. No problems. It’s too soon. You know, I’m young, it’s too soon. And then as you’re saying something unexpected happens. And then what? Yeah. And then after, after he died. maybe six months later, my aunt, and I’m very close to those cousins that aren’t. And I didn’t even ask, I said, I’m coming to me. Can I fix it? I’ll say I said, Well, no, no. Let’s be careful. Please, don’t mix. Well, no, because that’s Isn’t that an issue for us. When we’re fully present we want to fix we wanted well, but we think helping is fixing. Oh, I’m gonna give you advice. Oh, my person that I know use this other treatment. Um, are you sure the doctors are an all you’re doing is heaping on for more burden and stress and oh, my gosh, you know, and, and, and we’re taking the focus off of the person who should be the focus have our presence.
Not only that you’re causing the stress amongst everyone else that might be around as well. That’s right.
So I was I was with her and, you know, supporting her supporting my, my cousins. In hindsight, because so to two things happened with my aunt then one is I’m not knowing what a death doula was not even having heard that terminology. Now looking back now that I have a certificate, as an end of life doula, I was doing those kinds of things, for her, and with my cousins.
And the other was on the night, that would be her last. And she’s restless hand, it’s, of course, the middle of the night. And I’m reading from her Bible. And as a Catholic, she always said the Rosary. So I was doing that. And then I started singing. It was a natural impulse. Because singing has been a part of my life. And I began singing, singing songs from her tradition. And just, I don’t know, singing with her, it would help her feel at peace. Oh, Oh, sure. We can. I hope we get to talk about bedside singing in its own little nugget. Because there’s, there’s so much there. But to get to where I am now then, is two months, three months after I returned, there was an ad in our local paper. And they were looking for singers for a new choir to sing at the bedside of the dying. Oh, man. And that’s how then what is now called the Berkshire threshold choir. How it was created? Is that new? Is that a new thing? It was new, it was new in 2016. Yes, and I was one of the original members.
I then also went through hospice training, and seeing for persons who are referred by hospice, only, not only those who are in hospice, and I also am separate from singing what’s called a vigil volunteer. So when someone now is very close to the end, and we sit vigil, right, don’t we say that we’re here. And, and if if family is around, or friends around, if they’re able to do that, if they’re willing to do that, we can have a discussion about that, you know, what does it mean to be fully present? And what are some of the obstacles or barriers to people being there? But you’re there around the clock, you’re sitting vigil, until the last breath. And so I go, and I sing, and I sit in silence. And I find myself here today. Because, because what I do, and this is another thread throughout my entire teaching and education and, and sharing my life, what I do, every single one of us can do.
And my mission is to encourage you and support you and show you how you can be there and why it really is best if you can be and we forgot to mention your book, Linda, the courage to care. Being fully present with the dying is the subtitle. Yeah. Yes. So what would that look like for you after gone through your husband’s passing and your and what does that look like for you to tell the listeners what being present what singing is for the people that you’re with at the moment? What does that picture look like?
Okay, so if we, if we focus for a moment on the singing, I receive a referral from hospice, they say, Mary, we’d like you to come and sing for Mary’s family, we’d like you to come and sing.
I should also say that being fully present with it dying, but remember dying. I’m dying. From the moment we’re born, we’re dying.
Right? So, if in your mind when you hear the word dying, you are visualizing someone on their deathbed. Well, yes. But most often, no. These are individuals who are still alert, maybe still ambulatory. Now we had a young man say, Okay, I’m still alive, give me you know, none of this. None of this soothing, consoling end of life check out different kinds of music. But yes, but then it means and on the first visit, the first visit, it’s Hello, I’m Melinda. And I’m here to share some music with you when to sing some song. With that few all right with you?
Oh, yes. Now, as a threshold singer, we have our own repertoire. Over 500 songs, many of which were written by other singers. And a sidebar, really fun. The story is that soon after I began singing events side, I received my first song and I have to say received, because it came through me words and music. And in the years, since I might be out walking, and a song would come, I might be on retreat, and a song would come, I might be reading something in a book, and a song would come. Some of those songs, my chapter now sings regularly at the bedside. There’s always silence in between songs. Think about throwing that pebble in the pond and the ripples. Right? That’s, that’s the way the vibration of our speaking. And if our singing also goes out. And if you throw a pebble in and then throw another pebble in, and those two, right, they don’t have their own space.
The same happens when you sit. Or I should say the same happens, I think, I would suggest when any of us listens to music, doesn’t it bring to mind maybe some Association. Or we pick up on a particular phrase or a particular word. And somehow we’re staying with that. Where there’s a piece of the melody that really resonates with us. And we stay with that melody. If when we’re finished with that song on, we immediately go to another one. interfering with the interior reception of that song we’re interacting with that listener is doing inside. So there’s always silence. No, Simon and Garfunkel said the sounds of silence. Right. It’s all sound.
Absolutely. So that helps people be more present. Have you ever been around any of the families that kind of need a check? Like a check in you know, they’re talking there’s too stressed around each other as well as themselves. They’re not being present to allow the same the discussion the nice story Perhaps or or whatever the family wishes to do to talk about. I mean, it’s definitely not the time to talk about Where’s your will? And how many, you know, where are your bank accounts? I have, excuse me, I have already been in a nursing home singing to someone when family is there, and the army, they start talking about who’s going to get the ball. And this person hasn’t, hasn’t died yet. It’s, that’s a great example of not being present.
No, if you want to have a shout, who’s going to get the possessions? Could you please name the row? My strong suggestion, please leave the room even individuals who are no longer speaking, who are not responsive, and you will hear and read this everywhere that hearing is one of the last senses to leave, they can still hear and how distressing
is it to be there in bed approaching your last breath and your family or so called friends are discussing those kinds of matters. Exactly. That. I will also say and I’ve seen this countless times is that once I or we, because we try and go in pairs so that there’s hardly any begin singing our songs. There is a transformation in the feeling of the room. And he even in those family members who may have just been elsewhere. Well, I mean, let’s face it, it comes down. Everybody comes down.
They all come. They all come with their fears. They’ve all come they’re nervous, they’re anxious, they’re don’t know what’s gonna happen next. All of that stuff. So this helps relieve that. That anxiety
it calms them and comfort them as much as the person in the bed. Nice. Can you give us an example a little example. Oh, gee. Um, okay. So I’m, I’m being mindful of copyright and all of these songs. So I will I will. I will choose one of my one of my one of my songs. I knew you were going to do this without knowing you were going to do this
May you know that you may be more they up
Thank you for the silence.
That’s beautiful. I muted myself so I could really, really enjoy it. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so very much.
You’re welcome. That came from a pilgrimage in Wales. Oh, really? Yes, my, my, my, one of my sons in law is Scottish. My husband was Irish. You were mentioned during your Irish viewers and listeners. He was from County Wicklow folks. My son in law is from Stirling, Scotland, his family still over there. He’s now married to my third daughter. And when they had a big celebration, after they were married, had a celebration in Scotland that they wanted some of my daughter’s family, the bride’s family to make the trip.
So I said to myself, okay, I said all the way to Scotland, for when he I know, I will go back to Wales, and take the pilgrimage that I had wanted to do.
Several years earlier, I had heard that they’ve finished their Coastal Walk and so forth. And once a number of years ago, my husband and I went out there for a wedding, not in Wales, but wedding in England. And when he couldn’t come last minute work, I went, I rented a car. And driving on the other side of the road. Notice folks, I did not say the wrong side, it’s just the other side, just like you would say, I drive on the other side. I ended up in Wales. Holy well, and then along Anglesey Island, and I had always said to myself, Oh, I need to come back here. And so I put that those two together. And I walked around the island 130 miles on there, to walk while I was doing that. I was visiting cemeteries, nice old cemeteries, to who knows who goes there anymore.
And I found myself looking at the headstones, reading them, and asking questions. And you know, I, I do that even at bedside, when I’m called to sing, for example. And when it’s vigil, so someone is dying now. And I haven’t sung to this person before, in the quiet yet in the silence between someone’s I’m asking, you know, I wonder who you were, and what your glorious life was? And what, you know, what, what might your history be? And are there people? So I was I was doing that, as I was walking around. And this the first part that the IP see a piece? And yeah, you’re still remember, no one else I’m remembering right now. You know, and you’re always loved. And I would, I was playing with that as I was walking. And that someone was the result? Oh, wow.
That’s so cool. Um, what are the other things that they enjoy doing? After the music? Do they just like to tell stories and hold hands? And what are kind of some of the kinds of things?
Yeah, you know, I would say, Yes, all of that. And the first part of being present is we need to be first part of being fully present is we need to be present. I hear so many individual tools who, Oh, I can’t do that. Why? I want to remember them the way they were. That’s, that’s one. Or I’ve been I had, I was at a writers conference. And this woman said to me I never go see my family who were dying. I said, Really? Why not? She said, because I am guilty about not having kept in touch as often as I thought I should. And I was about to say something back to her. And she turned on her heel and walked off. You know, here’s okay. So you haven’t seen them in a while. But go Why did your family you know what? Your family whether they’re strangers, people I speak to they’re not family. They aren’t friends, they become friends. Why? Because I make a commitment to visit. I tell them that. And that’s, that’s part of the being present. You’re saying you are worth my time. You are important. Your life was important is important. No, you are remembered. You are respected. I mean, this is this is how many of us when we know this company, put on our stripe because we want to look our best. And you’re seeing people who are you seeing them in this intimate? situation?
Who can only be who they are? Well, impossibly Yes. And look the way they are.
But but that’s so I remind people, you know, they’re more than just this moment. I have this stop, see the whole person, you know, see the whole person. They’re more than this illness. They’re more than what they look like. They had they had a wonderful life. Their spirit is still vibrant. know, when I now share that, there that connection? Absolutely. And I know when my ex father in law was passing away. I couldn’t stay in the room. Actually. I got too hot. I was burning up, sweat was pouring down. me like I was working out.
Everyone else was sitting around with jackets on. And I wanted to strip down. I couldn’t stand the heat in the room. There was so much energy in that room. Thank you. Because I was gonna say yes, yeah. As soon as I went out of the room, and down the hallway, it was like, Oh, my God, the air conditioner came on. And I’d walk into all these other rooms, and they’d be lying in bed all by themselves. And I’d hold their hand and I’d ask them why they’re here, what they were doing if they could speak. And I talked to them. And even if they couldn’t speak, I’d I nod and try and just speak to I didn’t saying I’m not a singer, but I did talk to them. And even one lady came out of the shower. And the nurse had just basically thrown the towel on her and she was sitting in this wheelchair, practically naked. And here’s, they called me, Florence Nightingale, because I was going around helping these different people. Because I couldn’t stay in the room. I was sweating. And then once whence, throughout the time, I popped my head in and said try to sit down for a while. I noticed him shaking his head like No, no. And it wasn’t because like people were just talking amongst each other. But he was shaking his head. I really feel that he was shaking his head because they were coming to get him. They were saying it’s okay. You can come it’s safe to come. We want you and he’d shake his head. No. So the energy was so overwhelming for me that I could have literally just fainted right there on the floor. That’s how powerful it was. And I guess I didn’t realize it at that time. So I would go out and that’s why I’d go down the hallway and try to help others and then come back in. But I just want few listeners and viewers. To know that there’s, it’s powerful, it’s a powerful moment that you don’t want to say no to ever. It’s, it’s, it’s a miracle. Really, it’s it’s absolutely a miracle. Sorry to interrupt your story. You didn’t, you didn’t.
That’s another aspect of being fully present, paying attention to the energy, you know, paying attention to how, how it’s feeling different. Paying attention to that shaking of the head, there, there are, there are other books that in their entirety. Talk about what often happens. In fact, so in one book, the author, Maggie Callahan, calls it nearing death awareness, nearing death, awareness, she’s given it a name. This is an old book, I began in the 1990s. But it’s, it’s exactly about that. And even in some of the interviews I did for my book, it comes up again.
I want to go back centuries. You know, so very different from today, where we tend I want to be careful with my language, different today, where there are those of us who don’t want to be present. Because we’re afraid, because like this young woman, we’re guilty. are we feeling guilty? but also from I’ve had people say, but what’s correct? It’s this what’s correct, I don’t want to do the wrong thing. What’s the right thing? Whatever else is going on, it keeps us away from this time, which will not come again, centuries ago, and even not that Fargo. People routinely wanted to be wanted to be at the bedside. One because this person was considered a community member, and you honored every community member, and the life they had and the connection they had and the contribution they had, just by being a member of the community. So you wanted to be there. And they wanted to be there because of that, because they believed that as that veil thins, and we’re we’re passing out of this physical body and regaining our spirit nature. Before before we transition and crossover, there’s this time where we’re seeing people who are already there, and we’re getting messages. And we’re talking to people who are already there. And they’re saying, Oh, yeah, I want to be here for these words of wisdom that might be coming through.
There are books that as I mentioned, books, and including a couple of in several of the interviews, I did also
the surviving family, talk about Oh, yeah, my dad was looking up this way, this way, this way. And I and I asked what’s going on dad? And he says, oh, their armies up there. And they’re moving. And they’re, Oh, okay. What’s going on? is fighting? No, they’re not fighting. They’re making plans. They’re making plans. You know, and, and sometimes, this nearing death awareness, you’ll hear people use different language, like, I have to get my ticket. Or I need to make sure I’m packed. You know, it’s their language, this well indicates that they know they’re getting ready. where they are in their journey. That’s right. That’s right. If we pay attention, if we are fully there, we’re not checking our phones. We’re not we’re not wondering how long this is going to take. Or you know who’s coming to dinner. I mean, whatever. Whatever else is going on in their life, just be here, just be here and share this this amazing mystical time.
Absolutely. Where did you see the shift from? When it’s almost, if anybody this watch the Charlie in the Chocolate Factory, that’s what I visualize when the grandpa was dying. And that kind of timeframe? Where are they all sat around the bedside of someone passing away? Where did that kind of shift for us when we came into the 60s? Or the 70s? Or was it after the war? Or? So?
I’m not sure I understand your question, Where did we shift away from being a bedside? Mm hmm. Where did that it seems to have taken on in By the mid By the mid 1900s, you know, night, my 1950s on since then. And I would, I would suggest being generous about this, that there are some other factors contributing to it. We’re more mobile society. You know, in one generation, my, my dad worked in the factory at this particular place, and he was there until he retired. How many of us these days will spend our professional lives in one employ, it doesn’t happen and more likely with the exigencies of economics and so forth, we move to where the work is. So we may not we may not be living where our elders are. We may not be able to go back to where elders are. We may not be able to afford now health care I granted is different in Canada than it is here in the States. It’s terrible here.
When when you’re old and sick folks, and the prices so that contributes to it, then it contributes and, and, you know, now, my mom died at home on hospice. She and my dad, were living in Florida, and I’m up here in the northeast, I would go down and visit, I would go down and visit, I would go down and visit. And the last time I went and visited was turned out it was maybe two weeks before, before she she took her last breath. But I couldn’t be there. I had a family and for children. Now my dad after his stroke, I brought him up to Pennsylvania. He wanted to go there it’s like it had a connection for him. We don’t need to go into all that but and then eventually, because I was driving five hours each way every week to check in on him in addition to telephoning you know.
I then when we moved again, I moved in with with us now with us didn’t mean in the same house. Because he needed ranch. We had stairs, I mean, you know so so then you get into those kind of living arrangements. Where can can you even even if your heart were there to want to have an elder live with you is the setup. One that supports that, and it wasn’t. So as long as he could be he was in his own little apartment in town. And I was always there and driving him here and there and then when the next stage was shot defined in the assisted living facility for him. What was fortunate at the end was because he was a veteran, he sought action in world war two in the Pacific. I was able to get him into a Veterans Hospital. And he lived on their long term care award. Oh, that’s nice until he died. And, you know, he was among guys. I mean, there were women, we females tend to have longer life expectancies. So when you have men in these assisted living facilities and so forth, the ratio is so skewed.
Is that when all the men think they died and gone to heaven with all the women around?
Um, I wouldn’t say that. No, no, perhaps perhaps, an individual might. But no, you know, this, this this way he was among he was among guys. And they had, they had that connection of being better veterans that step and have lots of visitors. Including me, I mean, he was only 45 minutes away. So he was he was still within, within driving and visiting distance. There are a lot of there are there are multiple, complex reasons and situations why we can’t always be with someone with a family member at their last breath, right? As an M. Yes. And when you talk about unexpected, you know, unexpected developments, not only COVID to being taking people and dying, but then also also interfering
with, with our natural traditions that help with our grieving with being there, and funerals and community and memorial services. And I like that. Yeah.
Well, I want to mention to the listeners that it just, if you can be there and be present, for that moment in time, you won’t regret it. And it just feeds your soul. It just feeds, it’s so far deep inside you that it might make you sad on the outside. But it’s just it’s just tickety boo on the inside. It just makes you feel so wonderful inside. I can’t explain it.
Some of the hospice hospice workers and nursing aides that I that I interviewed for the book said that the most sort of complaint, if you will, for remark that they hear from survivors is regret. I didn’t go I wish I had gone even friends, you know, longtime friends, I drove my dad out from Pennsylvania to Jersey, and and we found that the wife was in the hospital and the husband was actively dying. And then in, in a nursing home. And so we went out to see him. And, and you don’t have to worry about what to say or what to do. Just be there. You know, my, my dad said to me, I said to Joe and I talked to Joe a little bit. He was he was alert enough to be able to say weekly. Oh, I al good to see. You know, I mean, they had known his his wife was my mother’s maid of honor. That’s how long friends they were. And, and I said, you know, I’m going to let the two of you just sit here. And and I tell this story. You know, my dad kind of looked at me like, Don’t leave me alone.
I said, just just tell them what you’ve been up to just tell them that what you remember about the times together? You know you can do that when you know this person. Or maybe it’s something from your someone from your neighborhood. Maybe it’s someone from your congregation. I mean, you have this, you have this connection, this bond. Yes, you do. And, and so what I want to say is please don’t wait until the end. You Know when someone receives a challenging diagnosis. And then when it becomes clear it’s terminal. And now, the focus is on comfort care rather than cure. Way too often read the literature, it’s heartbreaking. Friends begin to die off, friends begin to die off. I just realized what I just said, you know, that’s crazy. Yes. It’s like this is when this person needs you to affirm who they are, and their place, in your mind and in your heart.
Do you have to stay well, no, you don’t have to stay long. Their energy might not permit you to stay long or for them to want you to stay long. But don’t abandon them. When you read so many individuals say oh, I feel abandoned. I’m isolated. No one comes anymore. No one calls. No one checks up. No one checks in. No one loves me. That’s the bottom. No one loves me. No one cares. I’m already dead to them. Right. Wow. That’s deep. So it doesn’t take much. No, it doesn’t take much stay in touch. Bring music. You heard Tina say she’s not much of a singer. I’m sure she sings in the shower or something like that or in the car with the radio. But music and just a quick go back to that I don’t have time we have left but then side singing. I looked up and there is a Vancouver and I have no clue how close this is to you. But there is a Vancouver threshold choir a Bowen Island threshold choir and a Quadra Island Campbell River threshold choir and you’re part of Canada. If you don’t, you can have threshold singers maybe come but just music, sing songs from the person’s generation sing songs that they grew up with. Yeah. And if you need to go, and this is one of my your backup plans is have a playlist, you can begin now to put together songs I have that you want to be part of a playlist when you’re getting closer.
To the end. Yes, yes. To the end of the beginning. Music has been called medicine. There’s so much research on the benefits. The health benefits, the emotional benefits on and on, of music, bring music, even if you aren’t going to sing, bring music. That’s beautiful. I would say to anybody, if you don’t know what to say, you don’t need to say anything. Just write music. And Touch. Touch is the most wonderful thing. hold their hand, hold their arm, whatever. It’s just you’re you’re there, you’re present, you’re with them.
And I would I would add as you do that. I know in one of the one of the suggestions hospice gives us is to put our hand underneath so that they can pull theirs away. We need to be careful of pressure. We need to be careful of thinning of skin what might feel easy for us. Maybe it’s just a little too much for them. It may be Could I hold your hand? Or does this feel all right? Or does this feel all right? Yes, yes. Yes touches something there’s something in psychology called touch hunger. And there was there was this woman who’s now gone. Who was on hospice off hospice and back on hospice. So I and we saying to her probably for most of the year when when I would come of course see I’m like this even that’s another thing please folks don’t bring your your gloomy expression.
You know, life.
Yes, life. slipping away. But Gosh, life is such a joy to be here. And, and, and the miracle of life. But so I go in like this all the time. This is who I am, I am joy when I go, and this woman would grab the front of my shirt and pull me down and give me a hug or give me a kiss, you know? And, and she’d say, I always feel so much better when you’re here. I almost feel so much better when you’re here. And I would suggest that’s probably true. Likely true. always true. of anybody you visit. Yeah. Because you were there. You made the time in your schedule to be there. They don’t have an option. No, they don’t have an option. There. They’re just they are where they are right now they are where they are you have the choice? May I encourage you to make the choice to be there?
What kind of final message? Would you like to get the listeners? Wow, we’ve had so many good tips and tricks.
This is what several people said to me. When I was interviewing, they said, think of the other person, not yourself. It isn’t, oh, I’m too busy. Or I don’t know what to do. Or I don’t know what to say that’s all about you. Right? Put the focus on the other person. What can I do to help the other What can I do? What can I do to journey with them on this path, that’s going to take them over the rainbow. And as you said before, it may be coming and sitting in a quiet even if someone is still I’m still alert. And when someone isn’t any longer, they can feel you just like you can feel someone in the room. They can feel your presence. Talk to them. Hi, Joe. This is Linda. I just came I just came to be with you in less time and sit in the silence.
Yes, it’s great energy. Well, thank you that was a beautiful ending, wasn’t it? You know, it’s it’s such a sad thing. And I think that’s what scares everybody. It’s it’s sadness and fear. And I think you just have to, you know, throw that stuff to the side and go in for the purpose of being there for the person. And yeah, it’s beautiful. Very, very lovely. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you. It’s a precious time. Yes, they go. They’ll understand just how precious it is.
Absolutely. Well, life is precious. And we learned that in many ways. Just this past week. My goodness, so many people with COVID and so many issues still with the second or the other virus that’s variant or, or, or the condo that collapsed or I mean, the list the list, we could go on and on and on. Right. So I hope you know I thank you so very much Linda for your courage and bravery to bring you to doing this lovely work that you do. It’s it’s absolutely wonderful and I hope our listeners can appreciate it as much as I have it’s it’s actually my joy to be there at bedside
Yes, it’s beautiful.
Thank you blessing it’s a blessing to me. Yeah, a blessing to the person in the bed. It’s also a blessing to me.
And and it should be a blessing to all those that choose to be there as well. And it’s right that’s correct. Yeah. Well, thank you, thank you so very very much Linda for your time and, and your tips and tricks for this show today. Wow. It’s full of it and it’s made my heart just want to come out it’s it’s beautiful. Thank you so every all our listeners, please take a moment and subscribe to our channel and click on that bell that’s down here somewhere.
And, you know, click the bell, I always sing our quick little song. With the with the bell rang my bell ring my bell down there, somewhere the subscribe button is. No one is Superman. So expect the unexpected, because that’s really what this pandemic did to all of us. We had to expect the unexpected, truly, truly We sure did. And everyone if you’re thinking of someone special right now, in your mind, please pick up the phone or FaceTime them or zoom them or Skype them or whatever it is. And tell them how much you love and care about them today because you don’t know what tomorrow may bring. And stay tuned for our next podcast and live streams on our YouTube channel and more great, great conversations just like Linda.
Thank you, Linda, for your beautiful work that you do. And sharing your time with all of us and our listeners that your backup plan tribe. Thank you. Thank you very much, Tina, outfitter saying. So stay tuned for our next podcast. I hope that we’ve inspired you and didn’t make you too sad and motivated you to start thinking about your unique plan. our one year anniversary is shows that our listeners are essential to our show. So thank you very, very much. Thank you for sharing your time with us and watching. I love each and every one of you and I always end with Carol Burnett because I know Linda knows who Carol Burnett was. She is such a fantastic lady. Maybe one day maybe from our YouTube channel here we can get to meet her I would. I would love to do that. So thank you Carol Burnett, free for your for your work in the world. That’s for sure. I’m so glad we had this time together just to have a laugh or sing a song. Seems we just get started. And before you know it comes a time we have to say so long. So long everyone. It was nice to have you stay safe. Stay safe, be kind
Linda’s mission is to pass on her understandings and show you how to be there at the bedside, fully present with anyone who is dying, and sharing in the mystery and wonder of death—and after. Her book is available – The Courage to Care: Being Fully Present with the Dying, support a new generation in awakening to living fully–even while dying–and relishing each day as a gift of joy and wonder. https://www.amazon.com/Linda-Bryce/e/… www.thecouragetocare.com
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