WHEN YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO NEXT at the most crucial time!
When you are part of a bigger picture, when you have people that you love in your life, do you want their lives to be turned upside down? Because if something happens, and remember something can happen when you least expect it, will you be prepared? Because they won’t know what to do next at the most crucial time!
Will you be prepared and feel peace of mind that your decisions have been looked at? Because when your loved ones are left to “hold the fort down” but they really don’t know what to do next, what’s their next step? The next steps, are never very clear, they are made with emotions and not necessarily made with actual facts, which is always very frustrating when you don’t know. They don’t know what to do during the most difficult sad, grief stricken, stressed, complicated time in their lives where they have to make decisions for someone else. Is that fair?
It is so important to have a family meeting, that family conversation with your parents to discuss their wishes. What do they want to have happen, what are their wishes for celebrating, what about burial or cremation, or do they have a current will and power of attorney?
I know these are hard conversations but if they aren’t done the emotional impact and the financial impact can be mind-blowing! You know some planning , some conversations around things that are important to them. We had a blog last week, on planning around funeral arrangements, but let’s go through some of the decisions for sickness or death. Because these planning tips will eventually happen to your parents, so why not be prepared in some shape or form. As well as yourselves, don’t forget yourself! Just because you may be in your 30’s, 30 something, doesn’t mean you don’t need to discuss these items. It just means that you too can be prepared at any age.
“Go now and tell a person you love, that you love him? Because you do not know, when you will lose a loved one!”, Vanessa Bryant
STEP 1: FAMILY CONVERSATION:
Having a Family Conversation, or a Family Meeting doesn’t have to be difficult! Here are a few of the decisions that you can start with:
- Get your current will completed and registered
- Get your Power of Attorney completed
- Get a Health Representative Agreement or Enduring Power of Attorney completed
- Now where are these documents put, where are they stored securely? Does anyone know where these documents are? Are they safely stored, in fire and flooding?
- Would you like to have a Burial, or a cremation?
- Where would you like to be buried? Where would the best fit be for the family? what if you move before then? Where would you like to be laid to rest if the rest of the family moves states, provinces, cities, or even countries?
- What type of coffin would you like?
- Would you like a Headstone, Monument or Marker? What would you like it to say? Would you like a story on the Marker?
- What would you like done with the cremation remains? Would you like to be put in a Niche, or scattered or left on the mantel? Scattered and where?
- What would you like the Nameplate to say?
- What kind of urn would you like? What would you like done with the Urn?
- Would you like a ceremony? Would you like a celebration?
- Would you like a service in a chapel of your choice or at home?
- Would you like to have a few people there, or a lot of people?
- Would you like certain music playing? Would you like to have a celebration with a theme? Example: motorcycle parade, or fishing expedition, or a kayak parade of athletes? Whatever you can think of can be done for sure!
- Will there be a special event or dance, or bird/butterfly release at the celebration?
- Would you like to have speeches or a slideshow?
As you can see there are quite a bit more decisions than you thought, right? Your Backup Plan Tribe, will have a workshop on having a Family Conversation with a Worksheet attached, available in October 2020 for our Members. This will cover all of the necessary questions and wishes that would be required. And to make your life so much easier!
Once we can make decisions about funeral planning, we can then go to a few of the questions you will need for the Funeral Director at your Funeral Home of your choice. Some of the questions you may not have the answers around Family names etc. So, it is a good idea to get a few of the Family details completed, here are some:
STEP 2: QUESTIONS FOR FUNERAL PLANNING
- FULL NAME
- ALSO KNOWN AS
- PREVIOUS NAMES
- DATE OF MARRIAGE
- OCCUPATION OF BOTH
- DATE OF DIVORCE
- BORN IN WHAT CITY
- CHILDREN AND GRANDCHILDREN
- GRADUATED WHEN AND WHERE?
- GREW UP IN WHAT CITY?
- THEIR PARENTS, proper spelling
- THEIR GRANDPARENTS, proper spelling
- DO THEY HAVE ANY METAL PARTS?
- DO THEY HAVE ANY OTHER PARTS?
- WOULD YOU LIKE TO KEEP THEIR FINGERPRINT?
Our Workbook will have the complete list of questions that you will need to answer, so it will be awesome to already know the questions as easily as 1-2-3!
STEP 3: YOUR WISHES
Having the meeting with your parents or family is difficult to discuss some of these questions about Life! We should have a plan because it is just too difficult at the most tragic time. So, as above when we answered some of the questions for your wishes, we would then lay them out into our APP with your answers, so that when the time comes your family or loved ones, will know your wishes as well as where it is!
As you can see how difficult it would be if faced with a tragedy and you wouldn’t know what the loved one would want to have happen, or what it should look like, or if they did have something planned — where is it????
We delve into our Podcast this week with Dianne who tells us her story of her parents passing away in another province and all of the difficulties around that. Looking forward to hearing her interview this week with some of the difficulties, and frustrations around parents that don’t have a plan!! Do your parents have a plan? And do you know what it is, or where it is?
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