Accident, Preparedness
A FEW TOOLS TO OVERCOME SEXUAL ABUSE
“You’re not a victim for sharing your story, you are a survivor setting the world on fire with your truth. And you never know who needs your light, your warmth and raging courage” ~ Alex Elle
Well this is probably one of the most difficult traumas to overcome because it keeps coming back to haunt you. As hard as it is to forget the past, it keeps coming back to remind you of your past!! How crazy is that? You hear a commercial, reminds you. You hear the computer turn on, it reminds you. You watch a TV show, it reminds you. You watch a movie, it reminds you. You smell something, it reminds you. You make that favourite recipe that you love, it reminds you. You hear their voice, it reminds you. You wash your dishes, it reminds you. You wash your floor, it reminds you!
Almost one third (30%) of all women who have been in a relationship have experienced physical and/or sexual violence by their intimate partner. The prevalence estimates of intimate partner violence range from 23.2% in high-income countries and 24.6% in the WHO Western Pacific region to 37% in the WHO Eastern Mediterranean region, and 37.7% in the WHO South-East Asia region.
Globally as many as 38% of all murders of women are committed by intimate partners. In addition to intimate partner violence, globally 7% of women report having been sexually assaulted by someone other than a partner, although data for non-partner sexual violence are more limited. Intimate partner and sexual violence are mostly perpetrated by men against women. https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/violence-against-women
What do we need to do to overcome abuse, physical abuse, mental abuse, sexual abuse, it’s all the same trauma. It gets in your head and it grows in there to suffocate you. But, I find it better if you can label it and escape it!
Label it!! Label it!! I said. Because you can see through the actions, the words, the moves, the hurt feelings, the controlling issues, the unhealthy swear words, the words that dive into your heart, your soul and stir up who is your true self. If you can just LABEL IT! So it’s not true, it’s just a paragraph out of a book you are reading about this relationship. Block it so it’s not real! Is that the answer?
It just seems like such a selfish act from the person doesn’t it? Why do they want to control you? But, control you to hurt you so that “they feel better” in whatever form that looks like. I just wish we could separate ourselves from the real world like they seem to be able to do when they perform their abuse. Or do we? As the victim, we unnaturally go into ourselves, fall into a deep dark hole and separate it from our feelings, protection from our heart and soul. But, if we could only bring it to the forefront and say, my body, mind and soul doesn’t like this, hates this, and it hurts too much. But when this is coming from your coach, your minister, your best friend, your spouse or partner, your uncle, or relative it brings it to a whole other level. There is some sort of trust that administers these actions towards you. And because it comes from someone you trust, it becomes the biggest secret from anyone other than yourself and THEM! Keeping it safe and restrictive, keep quiet, keep silent, keep it hidden, your little secret! HIDE it Baby!
Where do you go, how do you even start to explain what is happening to you? Where do you go where someone will believe you? Where do you go where someone can give you support and patience in resolving the problems? How do you explain what is going on with you when you can’t even explain it? But how do you start telling anyone? They are not going to believe you. They are just going to look at you like a loser, how could anyone believe what you are telling them about this wonderful happy and magnetic kind person. Well, just stick it out, your mind says.
I know really all you want is love, harmony, patience, and security. But, how did you get yourself into this dysfunctional relationship? How do you get out of it? From any age, whether you are struggling as a 5 or 6 yr old, not really knowing the world and how there are horrible people out there. Or you feel you are older and wiser but still fall straight into a predator who takes advantage of your heart, and soul because they don’t have any! So they want to steal all of your perfect wonderful energy. And they keep coming back for more!
So how do we break the pattern to save yourself? That is the 100 million dollar question!
- I guess the first step is to recognize it for what it is!
- Arrange to open up and come out of silence
- Have that deep conversation with a close confidant that you can trust and they can provide support to you and be non judgmental
- Stand up for your worth and your power
- Fear will overpower you but you really need to move forward and stand up for your Worth! It is a lot easier than you think sometimes after doing that!
- Find a solution to your living arrangements, or your relationship that will provide you with protection
- Reach out for counselling and guidance for yourself to overcome the hurt I realize that this part is difficult to bring yourself to do it! It doesn’t mean that you are less of a person, it doesn’t mean that you are not sick, it doesn’t mean that you are not less – it does mean that you are strong and capable and that you are improving your well-being! You are helping your soul and your mind to free yourself from the inner pain!
Does it take more strength to put up with the abuse or does it fact take more strength to stop the abuse?
STOP IT IN IT’S TRACKS!
Key facts
- Violence against women – particularly intimate partner violence and sexual violence – is a major public health problem and a violation of women’s human rights.
- Global estimates published by WHO indicate that about 1 in 3 (35%) of women worldwide have experienced either physical and/or sexual intimate partner violence or non-partner sexual violence in their lifetime.
- Most of this violence is intimate partner violence. Worldwide, almost one third (30%) of women who have been in a relationship report that they have experienced some form of physical and/or sexual violence by their intimate partner in their lifetime.
- Globally, as many as 38% of murders of women are committed by a male intimate partner.
- Violence can negatively affect women’s physical, mental, sexual, and reproductive health, and may increase the risk of acquiring HIV in some settings.
- Men are more likely to perpetrate violence if they have low education, a history of child maltreatment, exposure to domestic violence against their mothers, harmful use of alcohol, unequal gender norms including attitudes accepting of violence, and a sense of entitlement over women.
- Women are more likely to experience intimate partner violence if they have low education, exposure to mothers being abused by a partner, abuse during childhood, and attitudes accepting violence, male privilege, and women’s subordinate status.
- There is evidence that advocacy and empowerment counselling interventions, as well as home visitation are promising in preventing or reducing intimate partner violence against women.
- Situations of conflict, post conflict and displacement may exacerbate existing violence, such as by intimate partners, as well as an ~ https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/violence-against-women
Our Podcast this week, is inspirational and motivational to those victims out there that feel you have no where to turn, or that you want closure. Whatever your situation, know that we love you just the way you are!
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